Page 35 of Until the Heart Stops
“If Mael knew what you were, he would use you to control me. I would be a puppet and he the master, able to manipulate me to deliver his madness into this world. Right now, he knows he has no such hold and won’t risk an outright rebellion. But with you in his grasp?” He shook his head, wincing as if he saw it in his mind at it physically pained him. “With you in his grasp I would be nothing.”
“I don’t understand. You barely know me. I don’t deserve that level of loyalty.”
There was a connection between us, an attraction that went beyond merely the physical. But for Mael to have such power over him if I were taken? I couldn’t fathom the reason.
“Yes, you do,” Callum breathed. “I wasn’t lying before, when I said that you are the flame to which I hold my candle of immortality. Because you, Lilith Searah…”
Callum dipped his head until we were eye to eye, his voice so fierce, I finally understood why he would do anything if it meant keeping me safe, even if it meant bending to the whims of a monster.
“You are my blood mate.”
Chapter 18
When I’d been made, blood mates had not been rare.
In fact, they had been a regular occurrence and one of the most common reasons why new vampires were made. Even still, it had been seen as a blessing to find your blood mate. But with the rise of Mael’s rule and the strict boundaries put in place between humans, Vyenurs, and Lycans, blood mates became more and more rare. They still happened, but most often either the mate of the vampire was turned by another in punishment or permission to turn their mate was used by my maker and the Covenant as a means of control.
It was the reason I’d tried to stay away, why I’d contented myself to watch her from afar. But I should have known it would never truly satisfy me. Lilith’s heartbeat was a siren song, her scent a drug, her blood an elixir, and her cunt? Even just the taste of her was a dream I never wished to wake from. And that was to say nothing of her mind, her loyalty, her compassion.
Lilith stared at me so long I became worried perhaps she didn’t know the meaning of the word.
“A blood mate?—”
She raised a hand. “I know what it is.”
Slowly, her hand lowered, falling to her lap between us along with her gaze. I allowed her this silence, instead returning to cataloging each perfect feature: the constellation of freckles across her cheeks, her pert nose, the soft bow of her lips. The rose tint of her nipples beneath the thin fabric of her nightgown. Her heartbeat and its rhythm I could pick out from miles away.
“How long?”
I blinked, refocusing. “Hm?”
Lilith raised her gaze to meet mine. “How long have you known?”
I brushed my knuckles against her cheek, taking whatever I could get before her ire came. “Since a few days after your mother’s pyre.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t pull away, even when her pulse quickened. As much as a human could, she stilled, save for her eyes flicking back and forth as if she was reading from a book. “All this time you stayed away…”
“Yes, I did. I hoped I could satisfy myself with merely watching from afar, knowing it would be what kept you safest. But at my very core I am a selfish creature and your light was too addictive. I found myself caught within your warmth and had no chance at keeping my distance.”
The truth was I couldn’t blame Henry. If not for him I still would have found a way to introduce myself, though it might have taken longer. Perhaps I could have waited until this was all over and the danger had passed.
A muscle in her neck jumped and her sadness crept through the bond like mist. It took me a moment to realizethat she was sad forme. She now understood the longing I had for her and rightly deduced how painful it had been to stay away.
“Does anyone know?” she breathed.
“Only Eamon, and I trust him implicitly.”
She nodded absently. Lilith had known Eamon since birth—if there was anyone she trusted outside of Adrienne and Noah, it was him.
“So what do we do?” Her voice was careful.
I tried to stop the despair threatening to slip through our connection, because the next words were already burning in my throat, ripping my insides into shreds. “We must stay apart.”
She jerked back as if I’d struck her. “Callum,no.”
But I didn’t allow her to slip from my lap. Instead, I cupped her face in my hands, the heat of her skin scorching against my palms. “Listen to me. It’s the only way to ensure your safety. Even now I should not be here, even now he could know where I’ve gone.”
Tears sprang in her eyes and her hands wrapped around my wrists as they had the night on the ramparts. “But he is immortal, Callum. He will never be gone.”
