Page 23 of Until the Heart Stops
She turned, touching the back of my head gently the way my mother always had. “I do not know, because I cannot imagine what it would be like to not know the immortal offering me such a bond. I can only tell you that if Eamon was to offer again…I believe I would drink.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m out to run some errands before I leave for All Souls. I’ll meet you at the shop?”
Dazedly, I nodded, tracing the edge of the box in my lap. When the door to our apartment shut, I reached beneath my thin mattress to withdraw the rest of the letters he’d sent, as if there between the lines I might find an answer.
I have watched you sacrifice yourself again and again for the betterment of others, Lilith Searah. But who takes care of you?
It is said that in the blood there are no secrets.
That in blood there is the beginning and the end.
It has been almost a millennium since I last saw the sun, but one moment of seeing your face and I find I do not miss its shine any more.
Would you allow me to be saved?
As if in a dream, I lifted the lid of the box, letting it fall to the floor. The phial was cool in my palm, heavy from the ornate crystal. As I broke the seal, magic hummed in theair, joining the identical signature that emanated from the ruby around my neck.
He had imbued the stone with his blood, that was what I’d felt, why already it was as if I carried him with me.
I pressed the edge of the phial to my lips and hesitated. The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the floor. He would be rising in a matter of minutes, unless he was old or powerful enough for him to wake before nightfall. If I was to drink, he would know; he would be able to find me. Could I be this foolish?
My heart gave a hollow ache, tar-like grief turning to sludge in my veins. The celebration of All Souls would begin at daybreak. The market would be closed and families would gather to mourn and celebrate their dead. Adrienne would join her family in the outer provinces. Noah with his fellow Vyenurs.
I would be alone.
The scent of thick copper wafted toward my nose. But there was something else, like the tart bite of apples and heavy scent of spice. I took another deep breath, letting the scent of him wash over me.
And drank the phial in one.
Chapter 10
Warmth.
Stronger than the strongest wine I’d ever tasted, rushing through my veins.
Bright pops of electricity skittered up my spine.
Like the rhythmic galloping of a horse growing ever closer, an immortal heartbeat took residence within my chest. There was a rush of surprise outside of myself which slowly transformed to a sort of joy. The joy melted into a bone-aching longing, making my throat clench and the corners of my eyes sear.
Beneath the longing was a loneliness I could barely fathom, swirling through an abhorration he held for what he was. These feelings were distant, almost out of reach, as if he kept them from himself as he kept them from me. Though I could not see him, I couldsensehim. Sense his rising from the coffin with a gracefulness only a vampire could show.
A brush of hesitation. A deep inhale. Gentle sensations built beneath my skin like the hands of the specter I’dlikened him to. Those hands slid over my cheeks, my throat, my breasts, my waist. My breath hitched in my throat, the barest murmur of a moan slipping through my lips while I pressed my thighs together.
Desire. Desire raging so deep I wondered how long he’d been aching. The feeling was such a heady thing, especially as I realized his yearning had nothing to do with my blood. No, he desiredme, I could sense that. My body, my voice, my warmth, my presence. Would he drink my blood if given the chance? Goddess, yes. But there was more he wanted.
Heat curled into my core until I was dripping. Those ghostly hands slid over my knees, and paused at my thighs. I was alone and though I could, of course, feel this desire, there was a question spoken without words. My pulse thrummed in my ears and my next exhale was shaky as I slowly parted my legs.
A rush of what I might have called relief washed through the connection and I knew he smiled—I could feel it as if he pressed his mouth against my cheek. I sent my magic back to him, wishing I could touch him, and my hands tingled as if I could truly feel the planes of his cheekbones beneath my palms, the wide set of his shoulders.
The skin of my damp thighs prickled and, impossibly, he knew that I had made a mess of myself. His hold on the bond was stronger but with each moment that passed, my control grew as well. I could push him out if I wanted, stop this rush of need pulsing with each beat of my heart. But I didn’t want to, especially as I pulled the tie of my dressing gown and drew up the hem of my nightdress.
I could not hear his voice, but I wished I could. Perhaps he’d speak as he had in his most recent letter.
Would you give me that taste?
In my mind, his voice was deep and resonant, as I’d heard Callum’s that night in the market. My thighs parted wider, one of my hands slipping between them. I groaned, embarrassment scalding my cheeks at the slick desire dripping onto the fabric. But in the next moment it was wiped away by the reverence slipping through the bond, the need I could feel all the way down into my bones.
Would you spread yourself like an altar for my feast?
I pressed my fingers to my clit, a heavy moan echoing through the room as my hips jumped. And it was as if my hand was his as I circled slowly, leaning back onto the threadbare mattress with one elbow and sliding one foot up to open myself further. He might as well have been in the room. His presence was now so heavy around my shoulders I swore I could catch the whiffs of his spice and apple scent.
