Page 81 of The Run Home
They broke apart and looked up at me, identical frowns with one eyebrow slightly raised in annoyance. Huh. I’d never reallythought about how much of Mom’s genes were in Kinsley, but it was glaringly obvious right now.
“I’m…happy…for you, Tink, but I really need to see if Shae said anything else. I’m about to go back over there and kick the door down.”
Kinsley instantly shook her head. “Nope. Do not do that. Total alpha dick move.”
“But she’s not talking to me! What else am I supposed to do?” I felt like I was starting to hyperventilate. The room was going fuzzy.
I’d lost games before, even championships with millions of people watching live, but I’d never felt the level of complete panic that I felt right now at potentially losing Shae. I never even thought this was a possibility. I figured I could love her enough for both of us. I could convince her eventually.
Oh, how fucking wrong I was.
Kinsley was by my side, her hand rubbing up and down my back. “Breathe, bro. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out together.”
I looked down at my teenager, offering me sincere help in my time of need when I’d left her on her own for years. Letting my arms go, I used them to crush her to me.
“I love you, kiddo.” My voice was gruff, and I was probably suffocating her, but she slid her arms around my waist and hugged me back.
“You know, Shae did mention she overheard Cassie. Did she say something last night that could have triggered this?”
Kinsley and I both froze, lifting our heads to look at Mom and then back at each other.
“That’s it!” Kinsley said, face lighting up.
I thought back over the accusation Cassie made about Shae being a cleat chaser and my chin dropped to my chest. Fuck. That had to be it. I didn’t know if Shae heard what I said in response, but clearly she’d taken it wrong and stewed on it allnight, coming to the conclusion that I’m just some dumb jock who couldn’t possibly have fallen in love with my baby mama.
Kinsley explained to Mom what her own mother had said while my brain spun. How could I get it through Shae’s thick skull that I was head over heels in love with her? The baby was a surprise, but a good one. One I now considered my second chance in life. A way to have the family that I wanted. With Shae. None of this worked without Shae. She wasn’t just the carrier of my son. She was the centerpiece of all of my dreams.
“I have an idea.” Kinsley ran upstairs, shouting over her shoulder. “You guys carry on. I have to go get Tatum!”
I rolled my eyes. Of course she was going to Tatum’s. She’d probably be at his place all summer. Mom stared at me from the couch.
“What do you want to do?”
I slid my phone out of my back pocket and did what I should have done three hours ago. I called Lydia.
“How’s the doghouse, bat boy?” she answered by way of greeting.
“Fucking lonely,” I groused, back to pacing the living room. “Listen, I don’t know how much of the conversation Shae heard last night, but I defended her. I love Shae. I want to marry her as soon as she’ll let me. Tell me what I need to do.”
“Dude, you gotta figure that out for yourself. It’s got to come from the heart.Yourheart. The HAGS are on their way to Shae’s right now to talk some sense into her. Maybe come by after we leave?”
“Will do. Thank you.” I hung up, not feeling much better. Shae’s friends might pave the way, but it was up to me to get Shae to trust me.
I watched her friends’ cars arrive from my seat at the kitchen table. I stayed there, watching Shae’s house like a hawk. Mom slid food in front of me, and while I picked at it to keep herhappy, I was solely focused on Shae and what I could possibly say to get her to trust in us. I’d worked up a little speech in my head that sounded pretty good. The second her friends’ cars pulled away a few hours later, I was out of my chair, grabbing my supplies and heading over to her house. This time, I’d planned for failure.
I banged on the door and prayed she’d answer. When the door didn’t swing open for several minutes, I knocked again. “Shae, it’s me. Please let me talk to you. Face to face.”
A desperate man, I leaned my ear against her door. I could swear she was just on the other side. I could feel her proximity. I pulled the small box out of my pocket. The box I’d had in my room for months now, staring at it every day and wondering when I’d be able to give it to the woman I loved.
“I don’t know if you’re listening but one thing I’ve learned as an athlete is you always have to shoot your shot or it’s a definite loss. I will never stop shooting my shot with you, Shae. I love you. Not for right now or just because of the baby. I love you forever. That’s why I bought an engagement ring months ago. I’ve been waiting for the right time to formally ask you since I botched the first time so badly. Through a thick door was not what I had in mind, but I need you to know that I want you. I need you. I want to make a life with you. I want to be the partner you want and need too. Just give me a chance, baby.”
There was silence. So long I wondered if I was making a fool out of myself talking to a fucking door. Then I heard a sniffle.
I backed up, grabbing the roll of duct tape I’d brought with me. I ripped off two pieces with my teeth, planting the ring box on her front door and securing it with an X of duct tape.
“I’m leaving my proof right here. You let me know when you’re ready to open that door, and I’ll get down on one knee and slide it on to your finger.” I leaned in, my voice dropping. “Please, Shae. Take a chance on me. Let me love you.”
When the door still didn’t open, I forced my legs to walk away. Forced myself to go back home, climb the stairs, and head to bed. Exhaustion got the better of me and I fell into a fitful sleep, not hearing the gathering of Mom, Kinsley, Tatum, my brothers, and their wives having a family emergency meeting all about me and Shae in the living room. Plans were being made and I wasn’t privy to them.
