Page 78 of The Run Home
The doorknob turned and I both felt and heard Boon’s shoulder hitting the door. His muffled curse had my heart rate souring.
“Shae?” he called, knocking on the door. “Shae, open up!”
I rolled my lips inward, brain spinning. What the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t ignore him forever. He lived next door and I was having his baby. I just couldn’t face him today. I needed some time to process what I was feeling and decide what kind of involvement I could handle.
The knocking started again. “Shae? Seriously, you’re freaking me out. I’m calling the police.”
My eyes went wide. That was the last thing I needed. That gossip would be all over town by lunch. I put my hand on the door, half of me wishing I was touching his hard chest right now, even though he’d hurt me.
“No!” I said loudly enough I hoped he heard me.
“Shae?” Boon’s voice was back, clearly speaking right up against the door.
“Go away, Boon.” Dang, my voice was even and firm. Good job, Fletcher. “This was a mistake.”
There was silence for so long I leaned way over my belly to put my ear on the door, straining to hear if he was still on my doorstep.
“What the fuck, Shae?” he exploded.
I jumped back, hands on my belly.
“What’s a mistake? And why’s this door locked?”
I swallowed hard and straightened my spine. For my baby, I could do this. “We’re having a baby together, but there’s no need to pretend to be a couple. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come over unless specifically invited.”
“Are you seriously trying to break up with me through the door?” He sounded incredulous and quite a bit pissed off. I didn’t blame him. Through-the-door breakups were about as cowardly as through text message. I suddenly understood my teen students quite a bit more.
I didn’t even answer, but he went on regardless.
“Well, fuck that! We’re not breaking up. You say it to my face, Shae Fletcher. You open this door and give me a chance to talk this out with you like two grown adults.”
He paused, during which I took another step back. No way in hell was I opening the door now. He’d come in gripping the back of his neck, acting all sweet and confused and looking all effortlessly hot, and I’d relent. I’d let him back into my house and my body and then he’d break my heart later down the line. When the parenting got too hard or my body was left with stretch marks and sagging skin, he’d reconsider. I was sure of it.
He banged on the door one more time and I jumped, wincing as my cut toe throbbed.
“Go eat some breakfast and I’ll be back later when you’re ready to talk face to face, Shae.”
He waited, for me to answer him or to open the door, I wasn’t sure, but a few moments later I heard his footsteps retreating. I made sure he went all the way back home by watching from thecorner of the window, hiding behind the curtain like a weirdo. I slid back into a chair and looked down at my belly.
“What are we going to do, kiddo?”
My phone buzzed on the table. A text from Lydia, asking if I was up and how the graduation party had gone. I snatched up the phone and dialed my best friend, unloading the whole thing on her before she even said hello. When I got done, she was silent. I heard her breathing, so I knew she was still there.
“Well?”
“I’m processing,” she answered.
“What’s there to process? I’m falling in love with a guy who’s done this whole song and dance before. I’ll blink and my baby will be graduating and Boon will have repeated the cycle with some other girl, leaving me lonely and catty.”
Lydia made a scoffing noise that pissed me off. “Sure. At sixty he’ll still be getting cleat chasers pregnant? Come on, Shae.”
“What?” I sat back in my chair, indignant. “Look at all those rich old white men getting twenty-year-olds pregnant!”
“I love you, Shae, but you’re being ridiculous. This is not the same situation at all. He never tried to marry his baby mama previously. Boon lovesyou. All I’ve seen is this man bending over backward to get you to love him back while you hold him away at arm’s length.”
My jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”
“Tough love, baby. Boon loves you and you’re too scared to even tell him. You overhear one little thing and suddenly you’re done with him? You didn’t even stick around to hear if he defended you. Fuck,youdidn’t stick around to defend yourself! Why is that, Shae? Are you operating out of some old high school bullshit belief that you’re not good enough for Boon? Because if that’s the case, then you need to grow the hell up real quick before this baby’s born. You need to show your son a mature,confident mama before he learns pushover women are what he’s looking for in life.”
