Page 63 of The Run Home
My heart held on to that statement and made it something it wasn’t. I told my heart to calm down. He mentioned family, meaning his son. Not me. I was just the vessel.
My eyes burned as I stared at the fire. “I know what you mean. This baby…” My voice broke. “I love him so much already. He’s already changed everything for me.”
Boon’s arms tightened around me yet again. “Tell me about the infertility thing. Tell me about your ex.”
I grimaced. “Miller and I would never have lasted, but if we’d had a child, I would have stayed. Indefinitely. I wanted a baby so badly. Wanted the life I saw growing up. I just didn’t understand that I’d chosen the wrong spouse to do all that with. It started small. He’d criticize my clothing. Or my body. The dinner I made. Anything really. Oh, and this one was a favorite of his: how little money I was making teaching back then. Then when we couldn’t get pregnant, it was all my fault. My deficiency.Mybody that was wrong.”
“What a fucking asswipe,” Boon grumbled, angry on my behalf. “You know, I was thinking about it quite a bit. I think it was our first time together that I forgot the condom.”
I huffed, laughing over something that was not funny, but kind of was. Figures. One time with Boon, and I got knocked up.
“Super sperm, baby,” he said proudly, grinning like a loon.
“Ah, what a beautiful story to tell our son. How you knocked up his mother after draping her over a washing machine and telling her to do your laundry.”
“And I’ll tell him his mother told me to make her a fucking sandwich after.”
We’re both laughing and it occurred to me that this was nice. Just chatting in front of a fire. Spending time together. No hint of sex, just…friendship. There could be worse things than being friendly with my baby’s father.
“Let’s talk more about my super sperm,” Boon said, like I’d actually sit there and give him a gold star for accidentally impregnating me.
“Maybe we talk about you forgetting the condom,” I interjected dryly. That shut him up. “Or the half-baked marriage proposal.”
He winced. “Yeah, I could have done that better than a sweaty weight room while we were both working.”
“Done it better?” I swiveled in his hold to stare up at the man. “How about not at all?”
He looked down at me, humor written all over his handsome face. “Oh, lovebug. I plan to ask you to marry me again, but it’ll be when you actually believe I can provide the life you said you wanted.”
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
Boon let me go with one arm and brought that hand to my face, gently pushing hair behind my ear. “You said you’ll only marry for love. Isn’t that right?”
I nodded, flabbergasted. What was he actually saying?
He bent down and kissed me softly on the mouth, his lips barely brushing mine. “You’ll see, lovebug, you’ll see.”
Anger bubbled up in my chest. I wasn’t crazy here. The man didn’t love me. And I didn’t appreciate him insinuating that he did when he was simply confusing excitement over our son with love for me. I shoved out of his arms, turning until I faced him head-on, my arms now folded over my chest.
“You’ve always hated me, Boon.”
“No, I haven’t,” he replied way too quickly to mean it.
“Yes, you did!” I threw my hands in the air, too incensed to stay calm. “You kicked over my tea party, your parents forced you to play volleyball with me, you teased me incessantly. You ruined my prom!”
Boon gaped, now looking as pissed off as I felt. “What? No, I didn’t!”
“How could I possibly believe that you have feelings for me when you’ve spent decades either actively hating me or ignoring me? Don’t confuse loving this baby with lovingme.”
Boon’s hands went up in the air like he was trying to stop my words. “First of all, I’m not confused about my feelings for you or the baby. Second, I told you about how I shut down the bullying in high school. Third, I never ruined your prom.”
“Yes, you did! I heard everything you said to my father and I knew it was a lie. Someone had already told me they saw you talking to Jason at school on Friday. You two weren’t even friends. Did you threaten him? Convince him not to take me after all? You knew I was excited about going with him and you shut it down. Why? Because you hated me!”
Point proven, I sat back against the couch to catch my breath. Boon just gaped at me, looking like a fish. Okay, a handsome fish, but nonetheless, I’d never seen him so speechless. He finally shook his head like he was trying to clear it.
“That’s what you’ve thought of me this whole time?” he asked quietly.
I threw my hands in the air again. “What else was I supposed to think?”
