Page 51 of The Run Home
I narrowed my eyes, absolutely lost. “Everyone knows? How does everyone know how I feel about her when I don’t even know?”
Warrick leaned forward, his forearms on his knees. “See, that’s the only concerning part of this whole pregnancy thing. You have a finite amount of time to figure out how you feel about Shae before you have a tiny, screaming human distracting you.”
“Dude, I know. I was a father before you ever were,” I snapped. Then I felt bad for snapping. I’d come here for help, not to piss off everyone in my life. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
Warrick waved away the apology. “You just found out?”
I nodded, a wave of terror sweeping over me. The numbness was fading. “Yeah. She’s known for awhile now, but just told me today because she had morning sickness in front of me and I guessed.”
Warrick looked out into the night sky dotted with the branches of all the old trees on this property. Past the tree line was the lake we’d go fishing in with our father. He didn’t say anything for so long I started to think I’d get no big-brother council like I was seeking. I finished my beer and placed it on the wood floor by my feet. He turned to me then, a smile growing on his face.
“I’m excited for you, man. Our kids will grow up together this time around.”
I hadn’t thought of that. That was one positive in a sea of negatives.
Warrick put down his beer and slapped me on the shoulder in some sort of celebratory bro hug. “This is your second chance, Boon. It’s like you’re being hit over the head with the opportunity to get it right finally. Haven’t you been saying you wished you’d done better with Kinsley? This is your chance!”
The heavy weight of responsibility pressed down on my shoulders. “Yeah. I mean, I want to do better, but I’m not sure I’m capable.”
Warrick snorted and stood. “That’s a copout. Victim mentality. Surely all those sports psychologists you’ve seen over the years would point that out and slap you in the face with it, yeah?” He paced back and forth on the porch, no longer looking happy. He looked worked up on my behalf.
“You want to be a better man, Boon?” He didn’t wait for my nod. “Quit fucking talking about it anddoit. Jesus! Just man up and fucking do it already.”
And then he walked inside, shutting the door behind him like we were done chatting and I wasn’t welcome inside his house. I sat there for a bit, wondering if he’d come back out with more beer, but when it became apparent he really was done with me, I slunk back to my truck and headed home. I saw a light on in Shae’s house but I didn’t even consider going over there tonight. I had some serious thinking to do.
No, not just thinking. Because Warrick was right.
I needed a plan ofaction.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Shae
I gaveBoon space for two whole days and nights. I carried on even as he stared at me across the break room at school like the strength of his glare alone should send a message. I wouldn’t lie, the silence nearly killed me. I’d known he wouldn’t be happy, but actually experiencing it was worse than I imagined. I’d come to rely on his nightly visits, his steady presence during the quiet of the night when I felt most alone.
Thankfully, the morning sickness was easing. All things considered, a few weeks of it was nothing compared to some women’s pregnancies. The girls kept the plain crackers in easy reach in my car, desk, and cabinets at home. Lydia, especially, had stepped up to cover for me at school whenever I needed to run to the bathroom and lose the few crackers I’d been able to eat that day. It was a goddamn miracle that I’d been able to keep this baby a secret this long.
The hard kitten heel of my shoes clanged against the metal bleachers as I climbed to the top row. Lydia and I had taken to eating our lunches out at the track to not only avoid people(Boon), but also to escape the smell of everyone’s lunch. This decision was made a month ago when Coach Johnson went on a tuna kick to try to drop a few pounds.
“Crackers.” Lydia pulled a sleeve of the bland things out of her tote bag and then reached back in to grab a cellophane-wrapped paper plate. “And cheese if you’re up for it!”
I made a grabby-hands gesture and sat next to her. “I think I can stomach cheese today.”
Lydia smiled and offered me the plate. “Before you know it, you’ll be mainlining tuna sandwiches like Big Johnson.”
I blanched, just the thought making me queasy. “Don’t jinx it.”
Lydia laughed, but changed the subject, commenting on the increasing temperatures lately and how her top student in Honors Anatomy killed it with his latest essay on rigor mortis. By the time she wound down, I’d eaten more protein than I had in several weeks.
“So Boon’s still ghosting you?” Lydia finally asked.
I’d called her immediately after he left two days ago, crying and ranting equally. She’d offered to end him, and when I said no, she offered to take a bat to his knees at the very least. My best friend was not a woman to mess with, that was for sure. After I’d been assured she wouldn’t touch him in any way, she’d switched to simply disparaging him every chance she got.
“Yeah,” I sighed. I tried to hold on to the flames of anger Lydia was so good at fanning, but with each hour of silence that passed, more hurt was seeping in. “I think he may truly hate me now. Before it was mostly me hating him, and him responding to that, but I’m pretty sure he’s the one with more hate now.”
“He’s an asswipe who doesn’t deserve anything less than your vehement hate, darling.”
I sighed again, snatching up a cracker and munching on it. Crumbs dotted my black skinny jeans. The jeans I couldn’tbutton when I put them on this morning. I now had a hair tie holding my pants together. Thankfully, the oversized chunky sweater I’d worn covered my fashion faux pa.
