Page 50 of The Run Home
“Shae,” I said firmly, proud that my voice didn’t wobble.
Her eyes opened. I saw the sheen of sweat on her upper lip and wanted to tuck her into bed and walk away from this entire conversation. But this was Shae. My neighbor. My friend. The woman who fucked like she had a whole cauldron of passion bubbling beneath the sweater sets and glasses. The woman who’d occupied every other thought in my head for months on end now.
“Are you…pregnant?”
Her gaze didn’t falter. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t look away. She didn’t even breathe. The question hung there in the bathroom between us, the answer to which would change the trajectory of both our lives.
“Yes,” she finally said, her voice firm. Resigned.
My lungs seized, refusing to fill with air. The bathroom disappeared from sight and it was like I was floating above, watching my life repeat itself.
“How long?”
“Twelve weeks on Monday.” There wasn’t even a flicker of emotion. “I’m keeping it.”
I didn’t realize my hand was in my hair until I felt the pain searing my scalp. I forced my fingers to relax, dropping my hand to my face and then to my side. “How did this happen?”
Shae scrambled to her feet, suddenly charged with energy. “Youarea health teacher, right?”
I huffed, not appreciating her tone. My thoughts were spinning out of control. I thought of telling Kinsley she’d be a big sister. Raising another child. High school. College. How badly I’d fuck up this kid too.
“When did you plan to tell me?” I focused on the easy thing. The one thing I could be mad about, directing all this anger ather. Not me.
She shrugged. She fuckingshrugged.
“When I thought you could handle the news, I guess.”
I raised my hands in the air like I might just throttle her. She didn’t flinch. My hands dropped back down to my sides. I spun and marched out of the bathroom. She followed, hot on my heels.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Game tonight,” I snapped.
“Seriously?” I heard her voice from further back. She’d stopped, arms folded across her chest.
I turned to her at the back door, hand already on the knob, escape so close. “I just need…” I closed my eyes and tried to force my lungs to inhale enough to speak. “I just need some space right now, Shae.”
Her expression ripped at my heart as I walked out and climbed into my truck. I didn’t even remember the drive back to the school, nor did I give any advice to my players during the game that was worth anything. We squeaked out a win, solely due to my players having put in the work this season and not because of me as a coach.
I waited until every player, parent, and ref had left the field for the night. I stared up at the night sky and was torn between laughing and screaming. How the fuck did I end up here again? For the life of me, I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t worn a condom. Then again, I messed up before. Kinsley was proof of that.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket. I almost didn’t check it, not ready to communicate if it was Shae messaging me, but then I thought that it might be Kinsley. It wasn’t. It was from my brother.
Warrick: Nice win, little bro! This town needed you.
I hung my head, unable to message him back. The town didn’t need me. Shae didn’t want me except as a dirty little secret. I was a shit father. Fuck, everyone knew I wasn’t cut out to be a dad. That was why we lived with my mother so she could be the parent to Kinsley that she deserved. Now, Colson, he should be a dad, but he never got the opportunity. Colson would have been the kind of dad people wrote parenting books about. Why the fuck had God given me two children when I was so clearly bad at this?
Back in my truck, I turned the engine over and sat there, not sure where to go or what to do. I could have gone to Gin/Tan/Laundry and let the locals buy me drinks for the win over Hell, but that sounded worse than going home and licking my wounds alone in my bed. I started driving and found myself going past Mom’s property, headed for Warrick’s. He and Emmerleigh were probably getting the kids down for the night and I’d disrupt their routine, but I suddenly needed my big brother. I needed someone to unload on.
Emmerleigh didn’t blink an eye when I showed up and asked to speak to Warrick alone. She just took a wet and wiggling Georgia out of his arms and patted me on the chest as she walked away. Vivian must already be asleep upstairs. Warrick grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator and led us to their front porch where we sank into the plush chairs and sipped in silence. Colson gave me shit constantly. It was our love language. Warrick always took the silent approach. He waited me out and let me figure out the jumbled thoughts in my head. The only problem was there wasn’t going to be a time when I got this allstraight in my head. I had eighteen years to be fucked up about this situation.
“Shae’s pregnant.”
Warrick choked on his sip and had to cough a few times and beat on his chest before he sat back and appraised me. “Whoa. I assume it’s yours with all the nights you’ve been sneaking over there?”
I glared at him.
He hid his smile behind another sip of beer. “Of course I knew. Everyone knows how you feel about Shae. It’s fucking obvious.”
