Page 41 of Ridin' Solo
“That is the prettiest vajayjay I’ve ever seen, Polly!” She gave the woman two thumbs up and a broad smile. Vee saw us and came over to the table, sitting down despite her trendy puffy vest not cooperating. “Did you see the logo? I mean, is that clever or what?”
Esme smiled. “Polly knows her audience, that’s for sure. What better way to say ‘No men allowed’ than to put a giant vagina on the front of the store?”
“Oh my God,” I muttered, rubbing my forehead. My sisters were too much.
The little bell over the door rang out again, drawing our attention to the newcomers. Izzy stood with her arms wrapped around her waist as Poppy, Yedda, and Penelope patted her on the back and gave her huge smiles. What was that all about?
Izzy pasted on a smile us girls knew was as fake as Vee’s nails, then broke free of the ladies and nearly ran to our table to sink low into a chair. Amelia came through the door and nearly pushed over Penelope. Something made me think that was on purpose.
“Save me,” Izzy whispered urgently, pretty eyes wide with terror.
“What do those ol’ biddies want with you?” Amelia rushed over to our table, rounding out our circle of five. “I can probably take Penelope, but I get a weird sense from her. She’s more than she seems.”
Amelia made a face like she was going off on a wild goose chase. Amelia only liked a secret if she was in on it.
“Did you see the sign out front?” Izzy asked quietly, grabbing a laminated menu card out of the centerpiece. She wasn’t meeting our gazes, and that made me nervous.
“Fuck yeah, we saw it. How could you not see it?” Vee giggled.
Izzy’s cheeks went pink, reminding me of myself. “I painted it.”
Amelia hopped out of her chair. “You’rethe pussy painter?”
“Shh!” I whisper-shouted to no avail. Izzy clearly was embarrassed. We didn’t need to blab to the entire town.
Izzy giggled nervously, covering her mouth. She nodded and her cheeks went a deeper shade of red.
Vee leaned over to give her a hug. “It’s beautiful!”
When we got done congratulating her on a job well done, I couldn’t help but groan a bit. “Great. So one sister spray-paints the Welcome to Hell sign. The other paints hoo-has in exchange for cash. What secrets do you have, Vee and Esme?”
Vee shook her head vigorously and put her hands up, curiously quiet on the matter.
Esme shook her head. “I don’t have any secrets. How much did you make on that job, Iz? You should have told me. Maybe I could have brokered a better deal for you.”
Izzy shrugged and handed the menu over to me. “I felt the deal was fair.”
Knowing Izzy, she probably got paid pennies for her work. The girl was a damn fine artist, wasting her talents as an accountant. Then again, she said she painted and cooked because it made her happy, so why did she have to monetize that? She had a good point.
“What can I get you girls?” Polly lumbered up to our table and had her pad and pen ready to take our order.
“I’ll take the Loverboy spiked hibiscus peach, please,” Izzy said sweetly.
“On the house for you, girlie.” Polly winked. “Your artwork is drawing quite the attention.”
“I’m not sure what to get. They all sound amazing,” Esme added, leaning over to read off my menu. “What do you suggest?”
Polly took turns staring critically at us all before listing out her recommendations. “Palm Beach raspberry starfruit for Vee, our own Boochcraft formulated just for us from Prescott Fines for Oakley, Rhode Hard Island tea for Esme, and our Virgin Ass Slapper peach tea for Amelia since she’s knocked up and can’t enjoy the good stuff.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Sounds good to me.”
We chatted for a bit until our order came. Then we sipped the best tea we’d ever had, chatting about everything and nothing. When the alcohol hit our systems, Amelia launched into it.
“So, what’s the deal with you and Wyatt, big sis?”
I set my cup down, surprised to see it almost empty. “The deal is simply this: I’m somehow obsessed with him in a way I’ve never been, but the guy is hiding something and I don’t know what it is and he won’t tell me. So, I’m mad at him.”
Vee raised her hand in the air and signaled to Polly for another round of teas for the table. She leaned across the table and took my hand in hers.
