Page 36 of Mom-Com
Silence stretched out over the phone.
My stomach was clawing at my insides. I was miserable. So miserable it felt a lot like how I’d felt when Shawn first left two years ago. I’d been adrift, stunned, confused, and hurt. Take all that and add in a layer of massive guilt and you’d feel what I was feeling right then.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Gabby was practically shouting, making me wince.
Tears flooded my eyes and my throat swelled.
“I just—” I sniffled loudly, trying to hold back the tears. “I wasn’t using the fifty ways on him and he’s supposed to be my neighbor, not my love interest. And we just met. How can he love me?”
“Oh, Lil.” Gabby sighed. “Who cares if you were using that stupid list on him? The point is to find a good man, not to prove this list works. I think the real reason you’re having trouble with all this is because of your last question. How could Jameson be in love with you?”
I threw my hand in the air. “I don’t know! That’s what I’m saying. It’s crazy!”
“Mhmm...”
I really freaking hated it when Gabby did that. She had something to say but wouldn’t say it. But I was all out of fucks today. I wasn’t playing her little game. If she didn’t want to tell me, fine. But I wasn’t going to sit here and play twenty questions.
“Look, I gotta go. The kids need to be doing their homework right now. Talk later?”
“For sure. Just promise me you’ll think on that last question, okay?”
“Okay, sure, see ya.” I hung up, feeling even worse than before she called.
I threw my phone on the couch and went to get the kids rounded up for homework time while I started dinner. And if I didn’t have much of an appetite, I blamed it on my stress at work. If I was a little short with the kids, it was because they were being difficult on purpose. If I glanced out the front window constantly, it was because I thought I heard an Amazon delivery, not because I was checking to see if my neighbor was coming by to hash things out. If I went to bed and couldn’t even stomach watching my favorite Disney movie for fear of another dream, it was because I was too tired to keep my eyes open.
And yet, open they stayed, into the wee hours of the morning.
When I woke, I had a plan. A new determination to finish this damn list and find a man. The list would work, Jameson was not the man of my dreams, and today I’d get to work on proving it.
* * *
The Reality of Love, Mom-Com Style - episode #7
We have news. Big news. Three little words, two people, and one stolen kiss. Okay, the kiss turned into a delicious make-out session against the wall involving many kisses, but that didn’t go with my clever countdown. Our girl, Betty, is running scared, but you can’t really outrun your next-door neighbor, can you? *Cue maniacal laugh.* Let the record state I see these two together. Like love and marriage and a baby carriage, together.
Neighbor man better step up his game and wrangle her in. He’s got his work cut out for him, because if I know Betty, she’s going to come back swinging with a vengeance in the form of man-hunting 1950s style on steroids.
Hang tight, dear readers. The chase is heating up!
* * *
I made a miscalculation.
After the third shoe turned up with teeth marks in it, I was open to the idea that this was a bad idea. I’d studied my list and picked the one that seemed the most promising for myself, and for the kids. I’d made some calls from work on Friday and I got the delivery on Sunday morning while the kids were still with their dad.
Meanwhile, I was stuck with my bad decision and wondering if I could take it back before the kids saw him. He was cute really, this new man of the house I’d gotten. All ten pounds of fur and big paws and clumsy tumbling. The golden retriever puppy looked at me with these big golden-brown eyes that melted my heart.
Until I saw my shoes. Then that mushy heart froze over a bit and the puppy eyes didn’t hold so much power. The list had said to adopt a puppy and take it for walks to attract the single men. I’d researched good breeds for kids and found a shelter who had a whole litter of golden retriever puppies looking for a good home.
If nothing else, he’d provided companionship today while my kids were gone. Jameson had been nowhere to be found. Since I ran out on him Thursday afternoon, I hadn’t seen him at all. It almost seemed like he was ignoring me.
Which made that layer of guilt build higher and higher until I was practically choking on it. The even sadder fact was that I realized I missed him. He’d always been coming over and helping out with the kids. He was just there, being his dorky, awkward self and making me laugh. And I hadn’t even realized it. Until he wasn’t.
So I kept Puppy and kept glancing out the window where I could see Jameson’s driveway. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I saw him, but it seemed imperative that I actually lay eyes on him. You know, to just make sure he was among the living. For all I knew, he’d been lovestruck and then struck down, lying in a heap on the floor just waiting for a dutiful neighbor like myself to come check on him.
“Gah!” I hopped off the couch, disgusted with myself. Two days of no Jameson and I was ready to chuck my man-plan. Puppy scrambled to his feet so fast, he spun out and face-planted. That brought a smile to my face. Not him hurting himself, but just how eager he was to interact with me. Jameson might be ignoring me, but Puppy thought I was better than a squirrel up a tree.
“We need to give you a name, sweet boy.” I ruffled his fur and the minute my hand left his head, he was jumping onto my shins for more. What was with puppies that made me talk in that little baby voice? “You’re just so cute, aren’t you? You love it when I talk to you like this, huh? Yes, you do. Good boy.”
