Page 31 of Side Hustle
“Just focus on the fact that she didn’t actually ticket you. Getting your blood pressure up isn’t good for the baby. Maybe let’s go find you someone to hug, huh?” Jayden tried to soothe her.
“I don’t want to hug anyone! And she only let me off the hook once I pulled out my sonogram pictures. Who does that? Penelope Fines, that’s who!” Lenora kept ranting as Jayden pulled her away from the group and into the shade of a nearby tree.
We all stared at each other in silence before bursting out laughing.
“Wow. There’s no hope for me once I get pregnant. Just put me in a straightjacket the second those two blue lines show up on the stick.” Amelia shook her head.
“Maybe pregnancy is like one long opposites day,” Hazel suggested. “Lenora doesn’t want to hug people when she’s pregnant. Lucy wanted…well, never mind.” The girls all shared knowing glances while the guys were lost. “What I’m saying is maybe when you’re preggo, you’ll be a sweet little thing, Amelia.”
Titus thought about that for a second and then he was practically jogging away, tugging Amelia after him. “Charlie had the right idea. We have something we need to do. See ya!”
“Good Lord. Doesn’t anybody want to actually go to the festival?” I asked, looking around at who was left. Lucy and Bain took one look at each other and bolted for the parking lot.
“We only have a babysitter for another hour. We’ll be back later with the kids,” Bain hollered over his shoulder.
Hazel looked at me, face still red. “I guess it’s just you and me, tiger.”
I grinned.
Finally.
12
Hazel
What was I thinking?
It was a question I asked myself a lot. Like daily. Maybe hourly. Like my buddy, Amelia, I’d made a lot of questionable decisions over the years. But unlike her, who did these things because running straight into trouble was her catnip, I made stupid decisions because life was just so damn interesting, I couldn’t help myself.
Sniff armpits and find unique deodorant scents? Sign me up! Be a sign flipper at the roundabout in town dressed as a horned goat to advertise goat yoga? What could be better? Sell expensive humidifiers door-to-door to people who live right next to the coast? Sounds like fun! Set up a kissing booth at the festival and schedule the guy you’re suddenly crushing on to be one of the kissers? Grand idea!
I’d barely made it inside the festival with Rip’s hand burning a hole through the flimsy shirt on my back as he steered me through all the people darting around before I had to report to the kissing booth area and make sure everything was set up properly. He’d left me there with a wide-eyed look of terror as people surrounded him with excited questions about the gold. I kept an eye on him as I opened up the booth, but he seemed to handle the answers smoothly on his own.
My head drifted to the side as I imagined him as the town mayor. I could totally see it. Rip wouldn’t be the flashy political leader his father was. He’d be the calm voice of reason who listened to everyone before making a wise decision. Sometimes the very person who didn’t want to lead would be the best person for the job.
“I’m ready for the crowd, Hazel.”
Bobby, the deputy down at the jail, appeared in front of me, hitching up his pants. Bobby was the first person on my schedule of kissers. He’d combed what was left of his hair and tucked his shirt in all the way around for once. He sprayed something in his mouth, gave me a thumbs-up, and took his place at the booth. I grabbed a box of extra teddy bear prizes from the attraction next door to me and climbed on it to tie the black silk around Bobby’s head.
Stepping down, I flipped the sign to “open” and took my place to collect a dollar from each person wanting a kiss. I had some serious doubts as to the merits of putting Bobby first on the schedule, or really anywhere on the schedule, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Auburn Hill only had so many eligible bachelors. As it was, there was only one person in line waiting on Bobby.
“How long is he up?” Poppy had her eyes on Bobby, but her question was for me.
“Uh, just fifteen minutes.”
With a gleam in her eye, Poppy slapped a twenty-dollar bill on my chest and pushed her way through the booth, a single sheet of plywood separating her from blindfolded Bobby at the podium. She shed her sweater and tossed it aside, leaving her in a bright yellow sleeveless shirt that matched the wattage of her smile. She looked scarier than a spoiled kid on Christmas morning ready to tear into her gifts.
“Oh, Lordy,” I whispered. Bobby had no idea what he was in for, and like a train wreck, I couldn’t look away.
She inhaled through her nose nice and slow and deep, a sniff I could appreciate as a professional sniffer. Then she reached for the poor man’s face and smashed her lips to his. Bobby’s arms went out to the side in surprise, not expecting that sort of enthusiasm. One inappropriate swipe of Poppy’s tongue across his chin and he brought his hands to her shoulders, the kiss turning far more intimate than was appropriate at a family festival.
Blinking quickly, I spun away, my face in a grimace I couldn’t seem to shake. The noises coming from behind me were disturbing and escalating. Heads began turning in our direction, including Pastor Murphy’s and the second-grade teacher at the elementary school who had her three little ones with her. I didn’t know what to do. Should I be the kissing police and tell them to knock it off? On the other hand, Poppy had paid for fifteen minutes of kissing.
Suddenly Rip was by my side, his arm steering us away from the kissing booth.
“Just let it happen. You interrupt Poppy now and she’ll leave all your future packages in a puddle by your sprinklers,” he whispered in my ear.
We hadn’t gotten far when we heard a yelp that had us turning around. Poppy stood there at the booth looking like a soaked rat, her mouth finally unfused from Bobby’s. He, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care that Ace Hellman had accidentally dumped an entire bucket of water on them. Bobby just stood there with a shit-eating grin.
