Page 66 of Side Hustle
I had to park a few houses down the road so as not to out myself as the best pranker in all of Auburn Hill. After today, they’d wish they never told me to come up with my own dare. Revenge was just so damn sweet.
By the time I walked to Jayden and Lenora’s house, three angry ladies stood on his doorstep, pounding away at his front door. I cringed, knowing a very pregnant Lenora was an unintentional victim in this prank of mine. Hopefully she’d forget all about it when she went into labor.
The door swung open and I made sure to hit start on the video on my phone, crouching behind a large shrub in his front yard.
“Can I help you?” Jayden asked, sounding all kinds of bewildered.
“How dare you?” one woman shouted.
“Men like you are a disgrace to this town,” another added.
“Housecleaners should have all the same respect you’d show an executive, you asshole,” the third stated, while folding her beefy arms across her chest.
“I-I think you have the wrong house. We don’t have a housecleaner.”
Oh, Jayden. Poor, unsuspecting Jayden.
“Did you or did you not place the ad for a French-maid-costume-wearing housecleaner?” the first lady demanded to know.
Jayden tightened his robe and put his hands up. “No. I swear I didn’t place an ad for anything.”
“And that’s my exit,” I muttered, making a run for it.
“Hey!” Jayden’s voice rang out behind me. “Rip?”
I could have run faster had I not been gulping back the laughter, nearly snorting myself unconscious. My heart was pounding and I felt alive. This shit was fun. No wonder Hazel liked to be spontaneous. I scrambled into my truck and kicked up a plume of dust, getting out of there as fast as I could. I had one more house to visit. The gallon jugs of juice rattled on the passenger seat and I slowed down a bit to make sure the crate of fresh blueberries didn’t dump when I hit the potholed road that led to Charlie’s house.
Everything looked calm when I pulled up, which I took as a good sign. No one had alerted Charlie to the pranks that were happening around town quite yet. I had to strike fast and get the hell out of here.
I hopped out of the truck and leaned in to grab the juice. I unscrewed the tops and spilled the sugary liquid all over the front drive to his property, just behind his truck. The sugar content alone would send Charlie into a tailspin. I huffed out a silent laugh and leaned back in the truck for the blueberries, the real winners of this prank. I upended the box right on top of the spilled juice.
A squawk off to my left startled me so badly I slipped in the mess and almost went down. I righted myself and grinned when I saw Paul the Peacock strutting over, his beak in the air. Another squawk above me had me racing back to the truck. The seagulls were already starting to circle, Hitchcock-style. I’d have to film this one from the safety of my own truck. Pretty soon, the peacock, the seagulls, and a few of the flamingos from the B and B were picking through the yard, gobbling up the blueberries with gusto and slurping their morning juice. In a matter of minutes, it was a smorgasbord frenzy of birds.
In the world of pranks, there were casualties. For this prank, it was the birds.
No, they wouldn’t die. I’d done my research to make sure of that. They’d just have say…some digestive issues for the day. Might even have some explosive diarrhea from all the fruit. Thankfully, it wasn’t my property in the drop zone. When the first plop of white hit and ran down my windshield, I stopped recording and put the truck in gear. Time for me to head home and work on the one dare that actually mattered.
When I made it safely to my driveway, I scrolled to the group text the guys and I kept going over the years.
Rip:WHO’S FUN NOW, BITCHES??
I took a page out of Yedda’s book and threw my head back to cackle with laughter.
Life really was fun and so was I.
Now to get my girl back.
27
Rip
“Dude, are you ready for this?” Titus slapped me on the back, jarring me from my incessant scan of the to-do list for today’s epic dare. The actual dare the guys approved of.
I blew out a quick breath and thanked my lucky stars the guys had forgiven me so quickly for the pranks I pulled on them yesterday. Bain was the one holdout, but when I’d outlined the dare I had in mind for today, he’d relented, even breaking into a smile when he told me he was proud of my ingenuity. Today’s dare was all about the phrase “go big or go home.”
And I wasn’t fucking going home, that was for sure.
The sun had barely started peeking over the rooftops of the shops on Main Street when I nodded back to Titus, my jaw already clenched. I pulled out my phone and started a text to Hazel. My whole plan hinged on her reading it and meeting me here. Thankfully, Lenora had readily volunteered to head over to Yedda’s house and get Hazel up. She was liable to turn me down, but she wouldn’t turn down a coffee date with a nine-month-pregnant Lenora.
