Page 52 of Side Hustle
“Everybody back up nice and slow,” he ordered.
I held my hands up, realizing I held the incriminating evidence in my hand. “I got it, Lucy. Don’t worry.”
She was still breathing hard. Her gaze swung to the sample in my hand before her eyes hardened and she looked down at Addi on the floor, still pinned down by Rip.
“That’s not Bain’s sperm.” Her voice was so icy I shivered. “It was a decoy sample.”
Addi let out a cry and kicked her feet against the floor like a child having a tantrum.
I grimaced and set the sample aside on top of the refrigerator. Ew. Who knew whose sperm I was holding? Rip climbed off of Addi’s back and came over to my side. The chief pulled out a pair of handcuffs from somewhere I didn’t want to know about and placed Addi under arrest.
“You’re coming with me too,” he told Nikki, who began to cry in earnest now.
“I swear I had no idea! She told me she was desperate to have a baby and the cost to inseminate was too high. So she needed my help getting her late boyfriend’s samples back. She said he died tragically. I had no idea it was all a lie…”
She trailed off when Bain entered the room, his thunderous gaze and arms crossed over his impressive chest scaring off whatever she was about to say. He stood next to Lucy and turned his gaze on Addi, who’d gone all wide-eyed and dreamy.
“Tell it to a judge,” Chief Waldo grumbled, leading both ladies out the door, one struggling to get back to Bain and the other dragging her feet in shock.
“But…but I have the sex swing to keep my hips elevated and everything! I just need one more sample and I’m sure it could work this time.” Addi whined when the chief made it clear he wasn’t going to let her within five feet of Bain. She stomped her foot right in the doorway. “I bought the most expensive insemination kit off Amazon, dammit!”
“Wait. You told me you needed that swing on account of your bad hip!” Nikki yelled, trying to dance around the chief to drill Addi with a glare.
She yanked her arm out of the chief’s grasp, and before we could intervene with a well-placed inflatable penis whack, she cocked back—no pun intended—and popped Addi right in the nose. Addi yelped and started crying again while the chief got a firmer grasp on Nikki and marched them away.
We all glanced at each other, not quite sure what to say in the aftermath of such illegal and insane shenanigans. Their bickering echoed off the walls of the hallway until we heard the front door slam and were left in blessed silence. Addi Townsend was officially crazy. Certifiable. Nikki might be innocent, but damn, the woman was too gullible for her own good. Though I did admire her punching skills.
“We better get these refrigerators shut, huh?” I asked Lucy gently. She looked like she was still in shock.
She glanced at me, but seemed to look right through me. “They’re temperature- and humidity-controlled chambers. Not refrigerators.”
I nodded and came over to wrap an arm around her. “Okay, honey. Whatever you say.” Then I guided her around the room to collect any samples that had fallen and get the room back in order.
“Thank you for apprehending that psycho woman,” Bain gruffly told Rip, slapping him on the shoulder. Then Bain’s stern face crumpled and he hugged Rip, thumping him on the back repeatedly. “My little swimmers are finally safe.”
Rip looked at me over Bain’s shoulder. If eyes could speak, his were spelling out SOS. I wasn’t sure if I should leave Lucy, though. She was picking up sample cups that had fallen and talking to them like they were her children. Something about that didn’t seem right, so I made the hard choice to stay with her. Rip would just have to deal with an emotional Bain, who was blubbering into Rip’s shoulder.
“Hey! There are those peckers. Looks like they’re party wreckers once again, huh?” Lenora lumbered through the doorway, her belly entering first. She cackled and rubbed her belly, Jayden smirking behind her. She took one look at me and cackled some more. “Love those bracelets you’re wearing, Haze.”
I frowned, thinking the crazy was spreading like a fart cloud. Then I looked down and saw the fuzzy pink handcuffs still on both my wrists. Shit. I’d been wearing fuzzy handcuffs in front of the chief. Hey, if he didn’t bring it up, I wouldn’t bring up his boxers.
“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” Jayden asked Lenora.
She bent down awkwardly, due to her advanced pregnancy, to pick up one of the inflatable penises. “These peckers. They’re from my baby shower.”
Lucy’s head popped up. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that. I couldn’t take them home for fear Roxy would start playing with them, so I kept them here at the clinic. Kind of goes with the theme of the place, you know?”
“You know I read about this,” Rip interjected, pushing Bain off him and handing him to his brother, Jayden, to take care of.
“Read about what?” I asked him, thoroughly confused. So much had happened tonight and I couldn’t explain any of it.
“It’s called spurgling. When women steal sperm without the man’s knowledge and use it to have the baby they so desperately want.” Rip looked at all of us like this was common knowledge. “It’s totally trendy. And illegal.”
Bain dried his eyes and tried to collect himself. “I got sperm-jacked?”
Rip tilted his head. “Sure. That term works too.”
“You know, I kind of feel bad for her.” Lucy stood up and made her way to Bain. “She was infatuated with you and wanted to have your babies.” Lucy shrugged, the expression on her face begging Bain to understand. “I kind of feel the same way, so how can I hate her for it?”
