Page 27 of Side Hustle
I got the rope around the branch and got busy tying a knot. “Okay, OSHA. Don’t worry. I’m all done.” I hopped down and patted Finnie on the back. Her heart was in the right place.
I spun in a circle. “Oh, crap. We don’t have a bat.”
“Oh…” Lenora groaned loudly at the kink in her plans. “Pregnancy brain, what can I say?”
Amelia made a weird clucking noise with her mouth, standing up and swinging a wooden bat like an amateur baton twirler. “Never fear, my bat of fury is here.”
We all gave her quizzical looks. Far as I knew, Amelia had never played a day of baseball in her life.
Her eyes went wide and innocent. “What? You never know when you’ll run into an angry peacock and wish you had a bat with you. I carry it in my car at all times. And especially when out in the wild like we are here tonight.”
I walked over and plucked it out of her hands before she got any ideas. Amelia and weapons were not a good combination for the safety of society at large.
“Well, thanks for that foresight, Amelia. You really saved the day.”
She took a bow and spilled her drink.
“Bejesus,” Lucy grumbled, slurping the last of her juice through the tiny straw.
“I gotta pee,” Lenora stated clearly.
We all turned to look at her agape. “Right now?”
She shrugged. “I had a lot of those juice boxes, and I have a baby crushing my bladder. Cut me some slack.”
“Can you squat?” I asked, knowing Finnie’s bathroom was too far away to walk in the dark. We’d have to drive. Which would really kill the piñata high we were all on.
Lenora thought it over. “Probably. Most likely. Especially if someone stands in front of me and holds my hands. Like a counterbalance measure, you know?”
I put my arm around her shoulders. “Okay, come on, mama. Let’s empty that bladder. I already cleaned the kitty litters today. I’m sure I can handle some human urine.”
Lenora put her arm around my waist and let me lead her deeper into the woods. “You’re the best, Haze.”
“Haze?”
“Hazeliskind of a long name,” I heard Amelia mutter to the rest of the group that stayed behind.
“It’s only two syllables,” I whined, knowing how these girls worked. I’d now be Haze for the rest of my life. There was no use arguing differently.
Lenora was right, though. The counterbalance thing worked great. By the time we got back to the group, Amelia was moving her arms in big circles out to the side.
“Just warming up for piñata time. Can’t be too careful,” she said when she noticed me staring.
“Agreed!” Finnie hollered back, standing to start stretching too.
“For Christ’s sake.” I grabbed the bat and swung for the rafters, hitting the piñata dead center in the stomach. She let out an oof, but didn’t split open. A zing of pleasure cooled the flames of anger. Fuck, this was fun.
“My turn!” Amelia grabbed the bat out of my hands and barely gave me time to get out of the swing zone before she let loose.
The piñata hung tight, though, not raining down goodies quite yet. Each of the ladies took a turn, even Lenora, who made us swear not to tell Jayden we let her swing the bat in her condition.
“Okay, let’s let Haze finish it off, huh?” Lucy handed the bat to me and the girls all backed off.
“Beat the shit out of her, Haze the Amaze!” Amelia shouted, filling up her cup again.
“Get her a juice box, would you?” Lenora asked anyone who would listen, which turned out to be no one.
“I got this!” I swung like I was in the World Series, looking for a grand slam. I swung like this poor piñata was the one who left me when I was eight years old. I swung like being a badass piñata popper would score me another night sucking face with Rip.
