Page 26 of Side Hustle
I sighed, not liking what I was hearing. “That’s dumb.”
Granny rolled her eyes at my eloquent reply and I didn’t blame her. What was it about my mother that turned me into a teen again?
“Sounds an awful lot like someone else I know…” Granny’s eyebrow lifted.
“Hey!” I slapped a hand to my chest. “Are you talking aboutme?”
“If the personality type fits…” Granny let me go and walked away, cackling like a crazy woman. “You stink, by the way.”
I glared at the back of her head, then turned and kicked one of the litter boxes. Kitty litter spilled out onto the floor, and the cats around me jumped away.
“You better—”
“I know! I’ll clean it up,” I interrupted Granny, not needing to hear her tell me what to do on top of everything else making me angry.
I grabbed a broom and dustpan, grumbling under my breath. Today had certainly turned to shit. There was only one thing that could salvage the day: time with my Hell Raisers. They’d help me work out this anger in a healthy way. Okay, maybe not in a healthy way, but it would get worked out.
* * *
“This is what sisterhood is all about!” I swayed on my feet, the red Solo cup of champagne held high above my head.
Finnie snorted and made some wisecrack about needing to go inside and get her medical bag. Lucy giggled into her juice box. The poor thing looked the most tired out of all of us, which was to be expected as a new mom again. Sadly, she could have used the alcohol the most, but Lucy was insistent on staying sober while breastfeeding. Hey, her body, her kid, her decision. More power to her. Lenora wasn’t drinking either because of her own impending due date. Amelia was right there with me, drink for drink, but that wasn’t a surprise to any of us.
“Hopefully the alcohol kills whatever infection is going around in this group and impregnating people,” I grumbled into my cup.
Lenora whooped with laughter. “Oh, honey, you’re gonna love what I brought for you tonight, then.”
My face lit up with the first good news of the day. “You brought me a sex toy?”
Lenora, the owner of the Hardware Store, the town’s subscription box toy shop, went to stand up out of her camp chair. She didn’t get very far on her own. Amelia had to go over and reach down, giving her a mighty tug. I just shook my head. Damn. They really weren’t selling this pregnancy thing. No alcohol, falling asleep in your juice box, and you couldn’t even get out of a chair. No, thanks.
We were camped out on the back forty of Finnie and Charlie’s property, a chunk of land Finnie promised us Paul the Peacock never visited. He and Amelia weren’t on good terms after the peacock scared her one night and then kicked Titus in the nuts. The firepit was crackling nicely and the champagne was going down smoothly. We gossiped about the latest around town and talked about our families. It was the best way to calm the fire in my own chest, the one that made me want to rage and rant and stomp around at the unfairness of my parental situation.
Lenora pushed a huge box into the ring of chairs. With it being so dark, I hadn’t even seen it earlier.
“Oh, let me help.” I jumped up to help her, but she waved me off.
“It’s super light, just bulky. It’s actually something I wanted to do for an upcoming subscription box, but it would have to be much smaller for shipping reasons. I figured we’d test this one out tonight and see what we thought of the idea.” She winked at me. “And it just so happens to be perfect for what you need tonight.”
I hopped from foot to foot, careful not to spill my drink. I really couldn’t wait to see what she brought. Lenora gave the very best dirty gifts.
She opened the box and gestured for me to get it out. Whatever “it” was. I handed my cup to Lenora and reached in. My hands brushed against something that felt an awful lot like papier-mâché. Doubts as to the fun factor of making crafts tonight rushed in, but I pulled out the object anyway, setting it down on the ground and backing up to take a look. It fell over and Lenora giggled before throwing her fist in the air.
“It’s piñata time, bitches!” Lenora yelled.
“What…the…fuck?” I whispered, circling the piñata and seeing that it was in the shape of a woman.
“How perfect is that? She’s even blonde!” Amelia shouted, her enthusiasm amped by the amount of champagne we’d already consumed.
“String her up, Hazel, and beat the shit out of her,” Lucy hooted.
My shock melted away and suddenly I couldn’t think of anything better than what my girls had given me here tonight.
“I love you guys!” I yelled back into the night sky, grabbing the piñata by the head and pulling on the thin rope already attached.
I dragged my chair right below a low-hanging branch of a nearby oak tree. “Somebody hold my chair.”
Finnie held me steady. “You know, I have a ladder in the workshop. It would be much safer than this folding chair.”
