Page 25 of Unfriend Me
“Damn,” I muttered, shaking my head. “It’s kind of scary.”
Amelia pushed my shoulder. “Go! Be a dashing hero and get rid of it.”
“Why me? Pretty sure it’s obsessed with you.” I certainly knew the feeling.
Amelia glared at me and then pointed at the window. I sighed. There was only one way this would end. Me, outside in the cold, dealing with the damn bird.
I leaned in closer, my nose now only a few inches away from its beak, though a sheet of glass parted us. That beak looked pretty pointy at this close range.
“Do peacocks attack humans?” I asked quietly, determining my best course of action.
“I’m sure they don’t,” Amelia said unconvincingly.
I rubbed my hands together, coming up with a plan. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to get out of the truck and distract him. You’re going to climb out once he’s focused on me and then run inside the hotel. If I get pecked to death by a peacock, you’ll be somewhere safe when you call the police.”
Amelia snorted behind me. “Oh, look, he’s got a mohawk kind of like your mullet. Besides, I’m sure he’s friendly.”
I turned back to her, not appreciating her comparing my hair to a fucking peacock’s. “It’s been nice knowing you, Lia.” I smacked her on the lips and wrenched my door open.
The second I got my feet on the ground, the crazy peacock flew up in the air in a flurry of feathers. His bird feet landed on my groin in a surprisingly firm kick before he fluttered back to the ground.
“Oof,” I grunted, hands flying to cover my junk. It wasn’t a lethal hit, but no one likes an unwelcome tap on the balls. “That wasn’t very nice. I’m not here to fight.” I could hear Amelia cackling inside the cab of the truck.
He cocked his peacock head to the side and glared at me. Then he began to slowly step to the right. I stepped left. He stepped right again and I went left, suddenly finding myself away from the safety of my truck. I didn’t dare look away from our staring contest, but I could hear Amelia sneaking out the other side of the truck trying to smother her laughter.
The bird pecked at the ground by my feet, causing me to jump back. “Hey!”
Another peck. Another jump.
“Let’s talk this out like grown men,” I ordered him, only getting another peck just a fraction of an inch away from my feet.
Thinking Amelia had to be far enough away to be in relative safety, I stepped left again, hoping to get back around to my truck. The bird followed me, both of us squaring off, me still holding my crotch, him sporting beady eyes that wished me death. The peacock flew up in the air again, and this time, I didn’t wait for the inevitable kick. I made a run for my truck, threw open the door, and launched myself in before slamming the door.
That motherfucker landed, lifted his head, and pecked my window again.
I punched the glass and he jolted away. My hand stung like a son of a bitch, but it was worth it. I just shook out my hand and started up the engine. Looking over, I saw Amelia had reached the door to the hotel and paused for a moment, a huge grin on her face.
“My hero!” she hollered over her shoulder as she ran inside the hotel and the door swung shut, laughter echoing behind her.
What a fuckin’ night. My hand ached, my ego was bruised, and my balls had been assaulted by a peafowl.
But I’d kissed Amelia and it had beenheaven.
11
Amelia
Not gonna lie, my vibrator got some heavy usage last night and I wasn’t sure what that said about my mental stability. Not the need for a vibrator. I was one hundred percent for women using them to satisfy their own needs. I meant the fact that I only had one man in mind each time I flipped that switch on.
Fucking Titus Jackson.
My best friend.
It was only six in the morning and I had a full day of stuff to do around the hotel. And yet, I found my fingers typing out an SOS via text message to my gaggle of girls. The Hell Raisers were the only ones who could set me straight. I needed a clear answer on what direction to take. Getting a phoenix tattooed on my back was supposed to mean I was starting over in life. As in, getting over Douchebag and getting back on the path to owning my own B&B. Looking after myself and not letting a man derail me.
Titus was a freaking freight train coming in the opposite direction, blindsiding me and pushing me off the rails. And even though my heart pounded double time just thinking about the way he’d felt between my legs, his hands dancing across every square inch of my skin, and the way he’d shooed off a peacock just so I could get safely inside, I wasn’t sure letting a man turn my head was the smartest thing to do. Was I just repeating a bad pattern?
Amelia:Ladies, we need to chat. In person. STAT
