Page 24 of Man Glitter
The latte I’d splurged on in my emotional state tasted far more bitter than I knew it normally should be. Instead of wallowing in my house after Charlie left, I’d thrown my laptop and business plan in my work bag and sped over to Coffee to get some work done. I’d only visited the coffee shop in downtown a couple of times before, noticing they didn’t mind people camping out with their laptops plugged into the wall chargers. I was hiding from Charlie and I knew it.
“Charlie’s what the kids would call BDE.” An old woman at the table next to me talked to her companion, drawing my attention at her mention of Charlie.
My Charlie, probably. How many Charlies could there be in a tiny town?
“I don’t even know what that means, Yedda. Listen, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the man, but you gotta admit. He has a few screws loose. You know what I mean?”
The woman with a bosom full of dropped muffin crumbs and ruddy cheeks answered this Yedda lady, a little too loudly if you asked me. What did she mean? Was she saying Charlie was crazy? I suddenly flashed back to a comment Charlie made about having a nickname in this town. A tiny flame of anger burned in my gut at these two ladies talking about Charlie like he wasn’t the nicest man I’d ever met. Annoyingly positive, sure. But a good person who didn’t deserve to be gossiped about.
“Sometimes the crazy ones make the best lovers, Polly. You combine the BDE with the crazy, you just might have spectacular.”
If she only knew how good Charlie was in bed, she’d double down on that theory. I sat up straighter and strained to catch every word. How dare they talk about Charlie like that? He wasn’t crazy. He was the most sane person I’d met, despite the oils and sage and disgusting green juice.
“I think it’s fabulous he found a girl, but what do we know about her? Doesn’t seem like a medical doctor should be dating the town artsy fartsy weirdo,” Polly added dryly.
That anger bubbled up, nearly choking me. Nobody called Charlie a weirdo but me. They probably didn’t even know him. They saw his easy smile, his penchant for being half naked and drinking moonshine in the middle of the night, and assumed he was crazy. He had more depths than the blue ocean just down the street. How dare they assume that I was better than him simply because I was a doctor?
“Even doctors can sense the BDE,” Yedda said with a wink.
Polly slapped her thick arm down on the table. “What the hell is this BDE you speak of?”
“Big Dick Energy,” I snapped, the same time Yedda said it in a whisper-shout.
Two heads swiveled my direction, Yedda smiling and Polly frowning.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help but overhear.” I wasn’t sorry. They spoke at nearly shouting volume, so they should expect some eavesdropping. Maybe next time they wanted a private conversation they’d turn up their hearing aids. “Are you talking about Charlie Boldt?”
“Yes, dear. He’s a woodworker here in town. In fact, he made that beautiful counter over there.” Yedda pointed behind her to the single slab of live edge redwood that set the entire ambiance for the shop.
It was a piece of art, just like all of Charlie’s creations. My heart swelled in my chest, swirling with the anger I felt toward these busy bodies who dared to belittle him.
“Wait a second. Aren’t you—” Polly started, her eyes squeezed down to slits as she scanned me from head to toe.
I pushed back my chair and stood, no longer able to remain in their company. “Yes, I’m Doctor Finnie Dorado. And Charlie is a good man who is so far from crazy you’d have to pull your heads out of your asses to see it. Maybe you should get to know the person before you gossip about them behind their back.”
Only then did I realize the entire coffee shop had gone silent. A quick scan showed all eyes on me and my outburst. Well fuck a duck, that was one way to make friends in a new town. I snapped my mouth shut and hurried to grab my things. I put the loaded work bag on my shoulder and marched toward the door with my head held high. I may have just imploded my business in a single twenty-four-hour period, but I wouldn’t stand for anyone making fun of Charlie when he was the most decent human I’d ever come across. He didn’t deserve that.
“You tell ‘em, girl,” Poppy said with a wink, holding the door for me in her work uniform, the mail in her hand long forgotten as she watched me tell off the whole town.
11
Charlie
The outdoor lights flickered on, the first thing to grab my attention outside of the project I was working on since I left Finnie’s place early this morning. When I couldn’t escape the thoughts spinning through my brain or the feelings crushing my lungs, I always hit my workshop and dove into a project. It gave me an outlet for my energy and forced me to focus when working on the power tools. The monotony of sanding or staining gave me time to sort through my thoughts and feelings, while figuring out how to proceed.
Some people meditated. I worked with wood.
Everything had been a rollercoaster the second Finnie showed up in her fucking alpaca pajamas. I’d cut myself wide open and had a new roommate who turned me on as much as she pissed me off. It’s like I now lived for her snappy comebacks and the way she lifted her nose in the air when she didn’t agree with me. Her counting to ten had to be the most adorable thing I’d ever seen. The town had nicknamed me Crazy Charlie, but I never thought it was true until now when I found myself crazy in love with a woman who didn’t even want me.
Last night had been amazing. Well, the nightmare wasn’t, but then the way Finnie sat and talked with me had been everything I needed to soothe something deep inside me. And then I’d been deep inside her and everything came together. Like all the shit I’d gone through had been worth it to get right there in that bed with her staring up at me with those wide hazel eyes. I’d slept through the night like I hadn’t in years.
And then I’d woken up alone. All the abandonment issues I had came rushing back, stomping out the hope that had flared to life in my veins from her touch. I’d been angry when I went to her house, and even the whining from Chester hadn’t calmed me down. I’d planned to tell her off, absolutely sick of her hot and cold treatment.
Then I found out she was just as damaged as I was.
That doctor that had screwed her over? Was now screwing me over. Because until she let go of all that guilt and shame, she’d never trust me. Not fully. And I couldn’t be with her unless we were both all in. My own demons wouldn’t rest if there was any doubt between us.
She’d made herself clear, and I would respect her boundary. Until she came to me and said she wanted to give things a try, I’d let her be. It might kill me, but I’d survived worse.
