Page 8 of Perfectly Imperfect Us
I blinked and focused back on the conversation. Something about my comment attracting attention.
“Why wouldn’t I want to comment? Isn’t getting attention on your videos a good thing? If my comment can do that, why not help a talented friend, right?” I frowned, not understanding why she wouldn’t want more eyes on her channel which would mean more subscribers and more views of her videos. That was a YouTube blogger’s dream.
She froze, so beautiful I was convinced she wasted her talents in a little town like Nickel Bay. I knew all too well how much money beauty and talent could earn you if you knew the right people and hung out in the right crowds.
She finally blinked and I realized I’d been holding my breath again, waiting for her to answer me. Her lips slowly formed the words and I wished she would have just stayed silent.
“But are we though? Friends?”
All the contentment I’d felt since I stepped foot into this forest drifted away on the breeze, replaced by a cold cynicism that reminded me I was a drifter. A shallow husk of a human, only worth what my appearance could bring in terms of revenue from the public. I had no true friends other than the three men I called my brothers. They would have to be enough for me.
4
Ava
My big mouth always got me in trouble, but nothing ever hit me quite as hard as the look on Ryder’s face when I questioned us being friends. He looked like I’d kicked him in the gut, taken his favorite teddy bear, and ripped its head off just to torment him. Not that I thought Ryder had a teddy bear, but I’d been wrong about a lot of things when it came to this man, so who’s to say he didn’t?
He nodded once and slipped his sunglasses back on his face. I opened my mouth to say something brilliant that would make up for my lack of tact, but nothing came out. He went to stand and I couldn’t take the guilt clawing its way through my stomach.
“Ryder.” I put my hand on his arm, the touch of our bare skin more intense than it should be. I touched people all the time when I did their makeup and I never thought twice about it. But one touch to Ryder’s forearm and I thought I might pass out like some lightweight fictional princess.
He swiveled his head and looked at me, his incredible jawline clenched tight and his gaze covered by the sunglasses. In some ways, keeping those icy blue eyes covered up made it easier to talk to him. He was literally so beautiful it was hard to look him dead in the face. Like looking directly at the sun. Too intense for mere mortals like myself.
“I-I’m sorry,” I stammered. I snatched my hand back, hoping that some distance would calm my heart. “I just meant that I don’t think I know you well enough to know if we’re friends.”
He looked back out at the ocean and my stomach dropped. My apology sounded lame to my own ears too. I wasn’t sure if he’d say anything further or if I should dig my hole deeper and keep talking. A seagull hopped along the rocks below us and I focused on that, wondering if maybe we could find some common ground in silence.
“You’ve never tried to get to know me, Ava.” Ryder’s deep voice didn’t carry a lot of volume, but it was the kind of comment that made me lean in further and truly listen. “Even in high school, you kept to yourself around me. Talked to Max, Heath, and Jase, when you and Skylar were playing together, but never me. Figured you just didn’t like me and left it at that, but now that I’m back in town you’re just openly hostile. I feel like I did something to you to make you hate me.”
He turned his whole body toward me and I swallowed hard.
“So, what is it, Ava? What did I do? Give me the chance to apologize.”
Now, when I needed words the most, they failed me. Which was saying a lot knowing how much I liked to run at the mouth at literally every other time in my life. The wind blew a piece of my hair in front of my face, and as I tugged it back behind my ear, I realized I needed to be a bigger person. I needed to actually give the guy a chance. I’d written him off years ago and again when I saw his behavior on social media as an adult. But there’d been multiple times in the last few months when I’d seen him around Nickel Bay that he’d acted differently than I would have expected. Maybe I didn’t know him at all.
I sighed, realizing I’d need to apologize for real.
I hated apologizing.
“You didn’t do anything, Ryder. I’ve assumed you’re a certain way over the years and it has come to my attention that maybe you’re more than the shallow caricature I’d made you out to be in my head. I apologize for that. If you’re game, I’d like to start over.”
Ryder didn’t move at first, the silence stretching out and raising my anxiety. Then he pushed his sunglasses back on his head and lay out on the rock on his side, head in his hand like he intended to stay awhile. His camera came dangerously close to clanking on the rock. My heart rate came dangerously close to killing me at the ripe old age of twenty-seven. His body was close. Very close. And it was doing things to my insides that should be illegal.
“It’s fine. Most people have preconceived ideas as to who I am before they’ve even met me. I’m used to it.”
I shifted to give him more room, frowning. “Well, it’s still not right. And since we’ll be spending a lot of time together because of Skylar and Max, I’ll do better to get to know the real you. Starting with, where’d you get that camera? It’s not even out yet.” There, that sounded normal. Not at all like a girl freaking out because an international male model was lounging right next to her.
His face lit up like someone flipped a switch and I had a front row seat to the real Ryder.
“I’ve made some good friends over the years and this camera company is amazingly generous. They knew I liked taking photos and offered me one for free to try out. Today is its first time out.”
I tilted my head. I’d found it, the common ground that would allow Ryder and me to chat easily. Almost like friends. “Can I see what you’ve got?”
Ryder took the strap off his neck and leaned in closer to show me the screen on the back of the camera. He clicked through the photos, all of which were gorgeous. Then he came to a particular shot of a deer.
“Oh! That’s the one.” I slapped him on the back without thinking. “You’ve gotta post that one somewhere. It’s amazing.”
He looked down, a little smile on his face. “You think so?”
