Page 40 of Lines We Cross
I took the sweater off and inched out of the room. Kadee jumped up to follow, so I guessed we were having this conversation whether I wanted to or not.
“I don’t know. I really like him, Kadee. I think about him all the time and he’s being so incredibly sweet. I just—I don’t know. I guess there’s a part of me that still thinks he’s going to up and leave me again.”
Kadee nodded and helped me pick out a different sweater in my bedroom. She stayed quiet about it, which I appreciated. I just wanted to enjoy my date, not analyze my head or why I was feeling hesitant.
We heard a loud engine come down the street and park in front of my house. My heart leapt in my throat, frenetic energy making my limbs jerky and uncoordinated as I gathered my purse.
Kadee gave me a hug right before I opened the door. She whispered in my ear, “Maybe it’s time you took a leap of faith and believed good things are coming to you. You deserve it, you know.”
I opened my mouth to say something in return, but the doorbell beat me to it. I bounced on my toes and Kadee giggled, running out of the room to give me some privacy.
I swung open the door and nearly expired on the spot. On my doorstep stood Max, complete with nicely fitted gray slacks, a polo shirt that brought out the blue of his eyes and the width of his shoulders, and a huge bouquet of red roses.
“You look beautiful as ever,” he said smoothly as he leaned in and kissed my cheek.
Oh, man. He smelled good too. Like fir trees and something deeper that made me want to bury my nose in his neck. Max wasn’t playing around with this date. He was coming at me from all angles.
“Thank you. You look quite nice yourself.” That was an understatement, meant to keep his head from growing any bigger. I glanced down at the roses between us. “Are those for me?”
He smiled, looking a bit uncertain which did more to squeeze my heart than his normal confidence. Max Duke slightly off kilter made my knees wobble. He nudged them toward me and I took them, pausing to bury my nose in the blossoms and letting the fragrance sweep through my brain. I’d been on plenty of dates the last few years, but not one of them had given me an entire bouquet of roses. Dare to say, I’d always associate the smell of roses with Max.
“Thank you.” My voice came out husky, a result of being made to feel special. I’d forgotten how to respond to it.
I spun and hunted around the kitchen for a vase before Max could see the emotion on my face. Max leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen and watched me, that lazy smile on his face I’d been seeing since I was old enough to walk.
“You going to tell me where we’re going?” I found a dusty vase, wiping it down with a paper towel and then filling it with water. The roses looked stunning arranged in a vase with tiny baby’s breath clustered around.
Max held out his hand. I quit fussing with the flowers and met him in the doorway with a soft smile. When he tilted his head down and met my gaze, I lost all train of thought. Forgot about all the reasons I had for not trusting him fully. He looked at me like he saw the deepest parts of me. Like he’d never tire of looking into my eyes.
“Just trust me,” he whispered.
* * *
“Well, this isn’t what I was expecting, that’s for sure.”
I climbed out of his truck and met him by the hood. The black iron fence cutting through the huge expanse of green lawn brought back memories I’d just as soon forget. The sign read Nickel Bay Cemetery.
Max ran his hand through my hair, pushing the strands behind my shoulder. He ducked his head and didn’t let me look away.
“Today’s about putting the past in the past where it belongs. Being here is about keeping Emerson’s memory alive and well.” The corner of his lips quirked up. “Figured it’d be weird to just talk out loud to the thin air. Here at least, we can talk to his gravestone where it’s a little more accepted. Let’s go tell Emerson about us.”
I took a deep breath. I hadn’t even stepped foot onto the cemetery grounds yet and my tear ducts were spasming. Last time I was here, I watched as they lowered my brother’s casket into the ground. A tsunami of emotions was threatening and I didn’t know if I wanted to get into all that. Didn’t know if I’d survive it. Sure, I’d pulled myself out of the grief spiral after Emerson died, but it had taken everything I had to keep going. I wasn’t sure I had the energy to face it all again.
“I’ve got you, Rae. I promise,” Max whispered in my ear. He’d pulled me into a hug, the steady beat of his heart below my ear the only thing tethering me to the here and now. I let him walk us through the gates and down the path that led to a rectangular slab of stone that held my brother’s name. Nothing says finality like the date of someone’s death carved into stone for all eternity.
The wave of grief came crashing in, the feelings flowing from my body in the form of tears. Max held me tight, his hand rubbing up and down my back until I could breathe again. When I lifted my head and sniffed, he handed me a tissue, his own eyes wet.
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I tried to clean my face up.
He kissed my forehead and said against my heated skin, “Never apologize for loving with all your heart.”
He turned to the grave and started talking, his voice getting steadier as he chatted. It had never occurred to me to talk to Emerson’s grave.
“Well, buddy, I’ve stayed away long enough. As you probably already know, I’m back in Nickel Bay for good. I also need to ask you to let me out of our little pact from when we were teens. I’m dating Rae.” His hand twitched, his thumb tapping against his thigh repeatedly. “I’m in love with her, man.”
I sucked in a huge breath of air, the grief clearing in an instant. Everything around me froze. My heart tripped over itself and my nose went numb. Did Max just say he loved me?
Max turned to me and swiped at the last tear sliding down my cheek. “Thought it only right to tell you I love you in front of the guy who would have killed me for crossing that line with you. This is second best to getting his permission.”
