Page 39 of Lines We Cross
“Someone once told me that grief is just love with no place to go. Maybe it took coming home and falling in love with our daughter to remind you of the grief you compartmentalized. Emerson wouldn’t want you to forget him, of course, and he most certainly would want you to love his sister with all your heart. He loved his baby sister like something I’ve never seen before. Clear out some of that grief and guilt and just love Skylar Rae. You do that, and you’ll honor Emerson’s memory better than anyone ever could.”
I’m not afraid to admit those words from Emerson and Rae’s mom did me in. A single solitary tear raced down my cheek and I had a feeling there’d be more in my future. I’d meant what I said to Rae the night we TP’d the principal’s house: we’d both been numb. Now that I was opening my heart again, the love came flowing in, but so did the grief.
I nodded and swiped away the tear. “So, I guess that means I have your permission to date your daughter?”
“About time I got Skylar Rae to date somebody. Been trying to set her up for seven years running now.” Anna huffed out a laugh and swiped at her own eyes.
Looking over at Mitch, he rolled his eyes, like his wife was too much. But there was love there too amongst the unshed tears. Emerson’s death had only brought the two of them closer when grief ripped so many couples apart. I wanted that with Rae, the closeness hard earned through shared grief.
I looked back and forth, wanting them to know my intentions. “I’ll treat her right, I promise you that. And if she’ll have me, I fully intend to slide a ring on her finger, sooner rather than later.”
Anna was back to clasping her hands under her chin and I chuckled with Mitch. My chest felt so much lighter, it was like I was a new person. I had a whole new life ahead of me, one that came with my own family extending out into Rae’s family and a whole town of people to support me when I needed it. Sure, fame and fortune had been fun for awhile, but this life held a sense of satisfaction that was bone deep. Like my soul was finally satisfied.
Back in my truck, I kept the good feeling going and drove thirty minutes north to hit up a jewelry store outside of town. It was way too early to get the gossip train going in Nickel Bay, but I had every intention of proposing to Rae as soon as I felt there was even the slightest chance she’d say yes. The ring I chose, the one with the stunning solitaire and a circle of tiny diamonds around it to symbolize our families surrounding her with love, would sit in the back of my new dresser, the one Rae and I put together that first night in my new house. It would be a symbol of everything I was moving toward.
My phone beeped as I drove back to Nickel Bay, the ring sitting in a velvet box on the passenger seat. I glanced at my phone at the first red light I hit.
Rae:Just got done with clients. Wanna meet Ava and me for lunch?
I fist-pumped the air in my truck. My girl was thinking of me. The fact that she hadn’t pulled away after our kiss the other night gave me hope for a much smoother courtship.
And then I laughed out loud at myself. I just thought the word courtship and asked permission from Rae’s parents to date her. I felt like a fish out of water, jumping headfirst into waters I vaguely knew about. If someone would have told me six months ago I’d be buying a ring and dating my best friend’s little sister, I would have worried about their mental state.
Now I couldn’t imagine doing anything but this.
I parked outside her clinic and left the truck running while I put the ring in the glove box.
Max:Parked outside. What’s for lunch?
A few seconds later, the door to her clinic flew open. A smile crept onto her face the second she saw my truck. I slid out, leaving the door open and caught her when she barreled headfirst into my chest. I held her tight and literally heard the clunk of everything in my life clicking into place. Maybe it was just my bad knee giving me issues in my advanced age, but I took it as a sign from above I was where I was meant to be.
16
Skylar
I was practically giddy, waiting for Max to pick me up. He’d called me a few days ago—even though I saw him at a physical therapy session just that morning—to ask me out on a date over the weekend. He was calling it our first official date, even though we’d seen each other plenty and had already kissed. He seemed adamant about it though, so I went along. Sweet and attentive Max was proving irresistible.
“Why are you up so early on a Saturday?” Kadee came into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and yawning.
“Good morning. Someone was out late last night.” I changed the subject and watched her carefully, looking for signs she was going over the deep end again. She had a habit of falling in love at the slightest show of interest from a man. Over and over again, replete with the breakup angst. Ava, Lacey, and I felt like it was our duty as besties to watch her closely and try to talk her off the ledge before she fell head over heels for another guy who wasn’t The One.
She snorted softly, grabbing a mug and filling it with the coffee I’d made. “Nah. Just some guy I met online. Remember I told you about him? He works in San Jose, and since he drove all the way down here, I felt like I owed him a couple hours even though I knew it wasn’t going to be a match.”
Relief had me relaxing back in the chair at our weathered breakfast table. “Glad you figured it out before you spent any more time together at least. What wasn’t right about him?”
She poured some milk in her coffee and had a seat at the table with me. “He drove this super flashy car. Bright yellow. Who drives a yellow car?” I figured the question was rhetorical, so I stayed silent. “I don’t know. I guess it’s weird to let that kind of thing bother me, but it just screamed pretentious. Like ‘hey, everybody, look at me. I have lots of money to throw around on ugly cars.’”
“Maybe he just really likes the color yellow,” I said gently. Kadee had a chip on her shoulder the size of a boulder about money. I hated to see her so self-conscious about it.
“So I ask you again, what are you doing up so early?” Kadee sat up straight and pasted a smile on her face.
I finished off the last of my coffee and then answered her. “Max is picking me up for our first official date.”
Kadee’s face softened and she nearly melted into the table. “That is just so sweet. Where are you going? And I guess this means you’re officially a couple?”
My sweater suddenly felt a little too scratchy and I stood up to go change. “He won’t tell me where we’re going. And yeah, I guess we’re a couple.”
Kadee’s nose scrunched up. “What do you mean ‘you guess’?”
