Page 23 of The Widower's Girlfriend
“What’s so funny, Mother?”
“My daughter. The one who only dates someone if he fits exact parameters of whatever the hell you’re looking for, is dating a guy she just met. And he’s a celebrity? Come on, Jemma. You have to see the irony in that. Youhatecelebrities. That’s, like, your thing. Wanna get Jemma angry? Start talking about how wonderful some celebrity is.”
She dissolves into laughter again and the unease in my stomach grows. She’s right. On paper, Walker is all wrong for me. I can’t talk about all that with my mother though. She’ll just keep laughing and teasing me. I need to talk to someone who will actually listen to me and give me solid advice. Honestly, the first one to come to mind is Charlotte, the sweetheart who works at Java Point right by the hospital. I stop there every morning and most weekends. She works all the time and we’ve become friends. She’s the best listener I know, which is a sad state of affairs when the local barista is a better friend to me than my own mother or the friends I’ve known since high school.
“Okay, Mom, sorry to interrupt comedy hour, but I gotta go. I’ll call you a bit later.”
“Sorry, honey, it’s just a shock, that’s all. I love you.”
Mhmm... “I love you too.”
We hang up and blessed silence fills the air. Which is what I wanted, but now depressing thoughts are swirling through my head. Maybe I’ve gotten caught up in a whirlwind weekend away from home, thinking that kind of relationship can last here in the real world where I work crazy hours and Walker is some semi-celebrity with fans to consider.
I think back on when he talked to me about his late wife in the taxi. He’d seemed so sincere, so heartbroken. And I could relate, having been around cancer patients for years, witnessing the devastating news of that diagnosis. Maybe I got sucked into believing we had more in common than we actually did.
I stay in the bath until the water goes cold, debating my thoughts and feelings, almost resorting to making a pros and cons list like a RomCom movie gone cliché. Instead, I put my pajamas on and curl up in my bed with a book.
I’m two chapters in when my phone pings again.
Walker: Get a chance to read it? Want to make any changes?
Oh crud.I forgot to read the statement Asher sent over.
I click over to email and pull up the attachment. It’s super short and to the point, merely stating that Walker and I have just started dating, with no implications as to what that means for our future or Walker’s job. My stomach clenches though when I see my full name in black and white, my personal business about to be released to the public.
I don’t know if I can do this.
As soon as the thought flutters through my brain, I feel guilty. Like I’m being weak for allowing some nameless person to dictate what I do in my personal life. I rub my forehead, feeling all that tension seeping back into my body, the bath being no match for my conflicted thoughts.
Me: Looks good. Still scary...
My phone rings, showing Walker’s name on the display. I answer quickly, knowing this conversation needs to be on the phone, not text.
“Hey.” My tone is subdued, just like my feelings at the moment.
“Sweetheart, we can’t let this change anything. It’s just a simple statement on my website and then we can carry on however we’d like. This doesn’t change anything.” His voice drops to a whisper. “Don’t let it.”
The back of my eyes burn, that whisper of his doing more to my insides than any typed-up statement. He’s right. I can’t wimp out now. I can’t bring myself to say goodbye to him. Not yet. Not now.
“Okay,” I whisper back.
“Good. Thank you, Jemma. Everything will be fine, you’ll see.” He lets out a sigh of relief and I feel a twinge of guilt for making him doubt me. “What else can I do to make sure you feel better about everything? Just tell me and I’ll do it.”
I lie back on my bed, letting my pillows swallow me up. “There’s nothing you can do, Walker. You’ve been great. It’s just I’ve had bad experiences with celebrities in the past through work. They’ve been irresponsible and left sick kids hanging when they should have been doing all they could to bring a smile to a kid with a limited number of days left on this green earth.”
“Thank you for telling me. I can assure you I’m not like that. I take my responsibilities seriously. You can count on me, Jemma.”
He sounds so earnest, I can’t help but believe him. I have to trust him and see if my belief about celebrities is wrong.
I drop my voice, the words too solemn to speak full volume. “I can promise you I’ll try to keep an open mind. I want this to work.”
“That’s all I ask. Just give me a chance.”
* * *
The statement is posted on Walker’s website the next day.
His social media accounts are immediately bombarded by a mix of well-wishers and disgruntled people who want him to wallow in his grief forever, just like them.
