Page 29 of The Marriage Sham
Still, no Fen.
It’s now ten o’clock at night, and he’s still not home. I’ve called his cell phone, only to have it go straight to voicemail. Five thousand scenarios are running through my head, and I don’t like any of them. Some downright terrify me. Did something terrible happen to him? Is he upset with me because I haven’t given him an answer for two long weeks? Did he finally realize I’m not that interesting and he could be having more fun elsewhere? The churning in my gut reaches a breaking point. I can’t be that girl who sits at home stewing over what-ifs. I need to know.
Decision made, I shove my feet into flip flops, quietly open the front door, and shut it behind me. I rarely go over to Fen’s house, as he’s always at mine, but there’s a well-worn path between the two houses. I follow the path and pray the critters don’t follow along with me in the dark.
As I get a little closer, I see his front porch light is on. Heart pounding, I break into a jog, hoping he’s okay. What do I do if I find him in a bloody heap on the floor?
The darkness shifts, and I slide to a halt. Materializing like a monster from the shadows is Colette, her suit jacket long gone, leaving her in a silky white blouse.
And there is Fen.
Kissing Colette.
Her talons are clutching his biceps, that body twisted around his like the serpent she is. Like she has a right to be there. I blink, and her image changes to Helena, the bright stars in the night sky morphing into the twinkle lights from prom. They say life repeats itself, and I learn with startling clarity how right they are. I blink again, and Colette is there, taking what could never be mine.
I hear nothing, like all the air has been sucked out of the universe, leaving me in a dark void where all I can see is Fen and Colette, and nothing else exists. Then the pain knifes into my heart, stealing my breath, and I wish for the void and the numbness it provides.
Suddenly she’s shoved back, and Fen’s head whips up, his gaze finding mine out here in the dark. He takes one step in my direction, and my legs take off on their own accord, pumping as fast as they can go wearing flip flops in a field of wild grass.
Gulping greedily, I race up the steps to my house, so close to safety. So close to shutting it all out behind me with the click of a deadbolt. I welcome the burn in my legs and lungs, preferable to the knife in my back. Or is it two knives?
“Francie!” Fen is right on my heels, his voice like a shotgun in the quiet night.
The doorknob is in my grasp, and I throw the door open, relief momentarily taking over as the predominant emotion chugging through my veins. Surprisingly, red hot anger rears her powerful head, sweeping through my body like a summer storm. I straighten my spine and whirl around, letting her lead.
“No. Don’t you dare come near me.” Ragged breath in. “Leave me alone, Fen. If you have even one ounce of respect for me, you’ll leave me be.”
His stricken face blinks back at me, his eyes wide behind his lenses, his hair in disarray fromherfingers.
The knife twists, and I don’t wait for a response. Twirling around, I slam the door behind me, the click of the lock signaling the end of whatever relationship Fen and I had started. Fake or real, it’s now over.
“It’s not what you think, Francie!” Fen’s voice comes through the door, breaking on the nickname I’ve come to love. His fist finds the door, banging insistently for me to reopen it and give him a chance to explain.
I gulp back a sob, moving away from the door, away from the direction I thought my life was going. I should have known better. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. No amount of conversation could explain away what I saw.
How many times am I going to let Fenwick Whittington break my heart before I get wise and keep him away like the plague?
As I stumble into bed, I let the tears come, let the pain wash over me, ten-times the pain I felt ten years ago. Because now I know what it feels like to rely on him, live with him, fall asleep in his arms.
The pillow soaks up my tears and hides the secret that I’ll take to my grave. I’d fallen in love with Fen.
And he picked someone else.
Again.
