Page 25 of The Marriage Sham
I can see Fen rubbing his face. He already knows what I’m going to say next.
“You walked in, Helena walked over, and next thing I know, she’s got her tongue down your throat. Nothing like a knife in your back from your very best friend. And to add insult to injury, you looked quite happy with the turn of events. So, I left. There wasn’t anything in Love for me. I needed a clean start, some distance.” I shrug, like the betrayal wasn’t something that still rankled.
The silence is deafening. My confession hangs in the air between us, both of us unsure what to say. The urge to run makes my legs twitch there on the grass, in front of the whole town, pretending to be a couple in love. Escape isn’t available. So I blow out a deep breath and struggle to keep my lunch down. Whoever said sitting with your emotions is a good thing is an idiot.
After an eternity has passed, Fen finally speaks. “I always liked you, thought you were beautiful, if a bit shy. I had no idea you felt that way about me though. Helena took me by surprise at prom, but for a hormonal eighteen-year-old, I didn’t question it. We broke up right before graduation when I realized she was a pain in the neck.” He reaches over and holds my hand, steadying the tremor I can’t seem to calm. “I went over to your place the day after graduation to talk to you, but Earl told me you left. I was shocked. Didn’t have any idea why you’d do that or why you wouldn’t say goodbye.” Another pause. “I’m sorry.”
He squeezes my hand and my eyes fill with hot tears.
“I want this to be real.” He says it so softly I’m sure I heard him wrong.
“What?” He’s a shimmering mirage behind my tear clogged eyes.
His hand cups my face and his thumb swipes across my cheek, catching a tear I didn’t know had escaped. “I want to see if we can make this marriage real. I want to explore a relationship with you. One without expiration or conditions.”
My heart thuds in my chest, enthusiastic about this idea even as my brain kicks into gear and screams at me to be cautious.
“Fen…” My voice breaks, the lump in my throat swallowing whatever I was going to say.
“Just think about it, okay? I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and I don’t ever want to add more stress. Just promise me you’ll think about it.” His hand tightens on my jaw, his anxiety clear.
I nod, not trusting my voice to work. Of course I’ll think about it. It might be the only thing I’m able to think about for the rest of my life.
Fen wants me?
Fen wants me.
Me.
