Page 5 of Christmas Eve Do-Over
I didn't let myself go down memory lane often, but when I did? Duke's face when I told him I was breaking up with him was the one that still made my ribs ache.
His lips tilted up in a smile, the muscles shaky, the hesitancy clear. The feeling was mutual. There was so much to say, I couldn't utter a word.
He cleared his throat and frowned. "I probably shouldn't have come here, out of the blue, no warning. I just—I saw you yesterday and I couldn't stop thinking about you." He reached into his back pocket and whipped out a phone, waving it in the air. "Google was my friend. Found you right away. Figured I'd check out the studio you owned. I honestly didn't expect to see you here."
I nodded, finally regaining the ability to speak in the form of sarcasm. "Well, where else would I be on Christmas morning? At home in my jammies, opening presents with my kids, sipping hot coffee with my husband?" I snorted, not even ashamed. I snorted all the time, he might as well know that. No more apologizing for who I was. That was one of the better decisions I made once I escaped off the wrong path.
The lines between his brows grew deeper, the blue eyes sad as they stared me down. "Yeah, I really wish that's where you were. Then I'd know you were happy."
Oh, hell no. Ain't nobody gonna feel sorry for me. "Iamhappy. I don't have the spouse and the kids, but I'm happy. So take your puppy eyes to someone else."
He chuckled, the sound familiar yet brand new again, tinted with age. "Same sass as usual. There are things that have escaped my memory as the years have gone by, but I remember very clearly how you kept me on my toes." His eyes went soft. "I loved that about you."
A fluttering happened below my breastbone. "Yeah, well. Some things never change." I folded my arms and changed the subject. "So. Where's Mrs. Claus and the hideous tie present from your two point five children?"
That chuckle again, this time already addictive in that I wondered how many more times I could get him to do it. "Ex-Mrs. Claus is probably with her boyfriend or her family. The children are just old dreams, never come to fruition. So I guess we find ourselves in similar circumstances. All Christmas-ed up and nowhere to go." He gestured to his t-shirt.
I finally looked down long enough to see that the t-shirt, fitting so well over his fine form, had a faded reindeer on it with the words "what does Rudolph want for Christmas? A pony sleigh station" written in bright letters.
I snorted again. "At least I don't look ridiculous like you with that ugly Christmas t-shirt."
He grabbed his chest with a gasp. "That was not nice, Shasta. Watch it, you could find yourself on Santa's naughty list."
I outright laughed at that one. "Nah, Santa's on my shit list, which is even worse.Hebetter watch out forme."
His smile vanished, confusion plain on his face. "I read your bio. What happened?"
I blew out a long breath then made a move toward my front desk by the door. "Wow, shit just got deep real fast there, Duke. My apologies, but that story has only been told to my therapist and her lips are sealed." I grabbed my bag and hurried to the door, hoping he'd catch on and exit without me having to throw him out. "If you'll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be. It was lovely seeing you."
I pushed open the door and looked over my shoulder, seeing him still standing in the same spot back on the mat. My shoulders dropped. We would do this the hard way then.
"Listen, I don't mean to brush you off, but you showing up here twenty-plus years after I last saw you is a bit of a mind bender, so if you don't mind, I'd rather do this little convo on another day. Or via text. That works better for me."
He finally moved, slowly approaching me, his eyes trying to burn the truth out of me the whole time. "That doesn't work better for me. I'd rather see your beautiful face when we catch up. How about tomorrow? Dinner? We can meet somewhere neutral, ask all the questions we want to ask, enjoy each other's company. What do you say?"
His hand came up to cup my jaw and the sweep of his thumb across my cheek seemed to reach my gut and sucker punch me. The warning bells in my head were clanging again, this time in reaction to what was happening to my heart and the big concrete block wall around it. I needed to get out of there. ASAP.
I cleared my throat and stepped back, seeing his hand lower to his side. "I'll have to get back to you on that." I twirled around and went out the door, holding it open for him, impatience clear all the way down to my tapping foot.
He nodded and exited, waiting while I locked the door. Then he wrapped me in a hug before I knew what was happening, those strong arms beckoning me to let go and melt against him. Damn, he gave good hugs.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered in my ear, then released me and walked away.
If I instantly missed his warmth or watched him until he disappeared around the corner of the building, I wouldn't admit it to you.
But my heart knew.
