Page 25 of Handcuffed Hussy
11
Bailey
I spent the next week wallowing in my depression. I was a mixed bag of guilt over what I'd done now that Jack had opened my eyes, sadness over him calling us over, shame because of his judgment of my actions, and mostly just loneliness, missing the man I'd barely gotten to know.
We were together for such a short time, yet I felt such a pull to him. He was an honorable man who was intense most of the time, playful when you dragged it out of him, and willing to deal with my crazy. That was a tough combo to find, and I felt like we'd just started to really get to know each other. We'd ended before we'd begun.
I was grieving the loss of what could have been. I'd had a front row seat to Esa and Ivan falling in love and I'd seen how it changed her for the better. She was practically radiating happiness and a contentment I'd never known. I wanted that too. And the opportunity had just slipped through my fingers.
Esa consoled me the best she could, but frankly, she still had her perfect man at the end of the day, so how could she really understand how I felt? It quickly became apparent that Esa had activated the phone tree and dragged the rest of the squad into action. Which is why I ended up with a bizarre visit from Shasta last night.
She'd tried to lift me up by extolling the virtues of meaningless sex with friends. How deep relationships weren't worth it for most people, so don't get your heart too stuck on just one man. I knew she meant well, but she'd had a messed up past with an abusive husband, so I wasn't sure I could really take her advice in my own situation. Though some of her sex-capade stories were hilarious and helped me smile for the first time all week.
Then Brinley came over this morning before her volleyball practice with a coffee delivery and an inspirational speech. Again, her intentions were good, but I wasn't trying to beat my opponent into the sand in a stunning victory of athletic glory, so the pep talk didn't really apply. The coffee was excellent though. Don't tell Esa.
Tonight was a beautiful, quiet night. I'd gotten home late from work, not wanting to face my empty home. Figured if I was exhausted, I'd just eat, shower, and hit my pillow. No time to go through another box of tissues or beat myself up over my transgressions.
I put on my comfy sweats after my shower and heated up a frozen dinner. Meal of champions, for sure. While it heated, I flipped through my mail, putting the bills in one pile and the junk in another. When my bill pile was significantly higher than my junk pile, I saw a postcard in bright pink. It caught my attention because it had a big picture of a jacket in the center.
Then I read through the words, flipping to the other side to see what it was about, but there wasn't further explanation. Just a date, a place, and a request for all used or new jackets to be given out to the homeless in Huntington Beach.
It didn't say who was organizing it, other than a small logo in the bottom corner that said Fashion Forward, LLC. I'd never heard of that organization in all my years of volunteering, so my suspicions were instantly raised.
I had my laptop open and was just about to research the company, more than likely resorting to hacking into their website to see who owned and operated the limited liability company. Jack's face when he told me my hacking was a deal breaker flashed through my mind and I closed the computer with a slam before I could give in to my temptation.
He was right. I was abusing my computer skills. I was hacking into things right and left with no thought to the consequences or the morality of it.
And there it was again, my old friend Shame.
I added the coat drive event to my calendar and went to bed, not hungry for my frozen enchilada any longer.
The phone tree was alive and well, and I didn't know how much more I could take of their coddling. The whole Squad was planning to show for the coat drive event taking place Friday night at the Lifeguard Headquarters building right on the beach. I'd already interrogated Ivan and Dean, both lifeguards, who swore up and down they didn't know who was behind the event. I would have doubted their sincerity but my girls Esa and Brinley threatened to withhold the sexy times and they still didn't budge.
Flyers for the event were plastered all over HB, on light posts, community bulletin boards, stores, and even on car windshields. Whoever was organizing this thing had hit the pavement and canvased the whole city. I found out that morning my own company would be there to donate a check to help the local cause.
I had no idea what I was going to as I grabbed one of my older, wool pea coats and headed out the door. I parked in the city parking lot, making sure to grab my parking pass for validation at the event. The parking lot was already filling up and the open area in front of the lifeguard building was lit up like a Christmas tree. People were milling about, enjoying the tables set up with crafts for sale, Esa's shop Chocolate Dreams had a booth set up, and I saw almost everyone had a cup of her deliciousness in their hands.
I almost stumbled on the uneven pavement as it dawned on me Esa was in on this thing. What the hell was that double-crossing hussy thinking keeping this from me? What the hell were best friends for if they don't spill their guts when you needed it most?
Hands grabbed my waist and kept me from spinning right around and going back home. Thankfully, a waft of Calvin Klein hit my nose before I used my heels for defensive stomping purposes.
"Jack?" I craned my head to see him behind me, a nervous wobble to his lips. Damn him, I still just wanted to suck on them, feel them on my body.
He blinked and then burst into his signature smile, dimple looking happy to see me. "Just in time. Come on."
His fingers threaded through mine and he tugged me toward the small stage set up in the middle of all the madness. We passed Esa's booth, and she smiled and waved at me like she wasn't dead to me. Flipping her the bird with my free hand didn't even faze her. She tossed her head back, laughed, and lifted her hot chocolate cup in a toast.
Treasonous bitch.
We reached the stage and Jack climbed up before pulling me up alongside him, tucking me into his side, arm firm around my waist. Smart boy. I was poised to run if this thing, whatever the hell it was, went south. As it was, I was enjoying his body pressed against mine too much to put up a fight. It was an exquisite form of torture to be this close to him, knowing he could never be mine again.
Jack grabbed the mic off the stand, effortlessly transforming into some sort of real life, slick game show host.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Can I have your attention please?" He waited for everyone to quiet down and turn their gazes to the stage. I tried to take a step back out of the spotlight, but he yanked me forward and held me even tighter.
"Thank you all for coming tonight and donating your coats for the homeless here in our great City of Huntington Beach." Everyone clapped, and he paused till the sound level dropped low enough to be heard.
"As you all know, the homeless situation here in HB is reaching epic proportions. We may disagree on how to remedy this situation, but I think we can all agree that it's the humane thing to do to make sure everyone has a warm coat this winter." Murmurs of approval ran through the crowd.
