Page 39 of Barefoot Chaos
"Let me give you some background here. We were all at Chocolate Dreams on Wednesday. So were our favorite lifeguards. Two things stood out for us. One, you announced to the whole world you'd sing in public and didn't tell us...and this was after saying you'd never do it. Two, Kai seems pretty hung up on you and you haven't given us the goods." Brinley brought me up to speed on why they were looking at me expectantly.
"I always thought Kai was pretty damn hot, but it was clear from the way he was talking about you, he's already taken," Autumn admitted shyly. She smiled at me so I knew she didn't hold any grudges. Her words made my tummy flip-flop with excitement. I didn't know for sure if Kai was actually mine, but the idea was starting to appeal to me more than scare me.
Shasta broke it down for me. "Maybe we weren't clear enough, but here in the Squad, we tell each other everything. We lean on each other. If you can't lean on us, then we feel slighted, plain and simple. You haven't taken that opportunity yet, so we've come to you."
My good mood plummeted. I never meant to hurt their feelings. I guess things just happened quickly the last week or so and I didn't think to update them. "I'm so sorry, you guys." That's all I got out before my eyes filled with tears and I jammed my lips together to keep my emotions in check.
Rainna rubbed her hand on my back and spoke for me. "Hessa here has always been the responsible one. She doesn't lean on other people because she's always the one who has to pick up the pieces for everyone else. Maybe you could give her an out, just this once, while she learns how to rely on good friends?"
"Of course we can!" Esa was quick to say. "Listen, we've all gone through rough patches or issues with men, and we've got to be able to rely on each other during those times to stay sane. If you shut us out, we don't know how to help you. And I guarantee you that every woman needs a group of women to back her up in life. We want to be your back up. So spill, woman."
I swallowed through a thick throat and did just that, telling them everything that had happened with my student, the Principal, the reporter, and finally, Kai. I skipped the sexy-time details, feeling like some things were too sacred to go blabbing about, even with the best of friends. When I'd finished unloading, we'd finished two bottles of wine and Bailey was reaching for another.
"Okay, first, let's get the boring stuff out of the way, then we'll get to the juicy details. I can help you with your fundraiser. Do it at Pacific City, in the downstairs courtyard. They have singers out there all the time. I'll set up a hot chocolate station and we'll donate the profits to your student. I can even talk to some other vendors there and see if they'll donate a portion of the night's proceeds to your cause." Esa grabbed a napkin and a pen from her bag and began to write down notes.
I felt a strange but welcome warmth bubbling up my body, making my heart race and my tear ducts flood. I couldn't believe I didn't even have to ask. Esa was just willing to pitch in and help. "I-I'd love that. Thank you so much!"
"If you make up some flyers, I can have them at the register at work," Bailey suggested.
"Oh! Us too. We can hand them out to our classes at Strike Ready," Brinley added.
I nodded my head, mind spinning with all we could do to pimp out the event to make the most money possible. If I focused on that, I wouldn't have to focus on the actual singing that I'd have to do the night of the event.
My head was ping-ponging back and forth between Esa and Bailey while they argued about what we should name the event. I had a smile on my face I couldn't seem to get rid of.
Shasta waved to get my attention. "See why you need to lean on friends? It's that feeling you got right there. The one that makes you feel like you're floating on air and can accomplish anything." She was grinning at me in a very motherly way. She was rough around the edges, but it was clear she really did want the best for all us girls. I nodded back, understanding exactly what she meant.
Rainna leaned over and wrapped an arm around me. "I'm so happy for you, Hessy. These friends of yours are the bomb," she whispered.
"They really are," I whispered back.
"Hey! Enough arguing already. Some of us are single here and we'd like to get to the sex stuff so we can live vicariously through you sluts, okay?" Autumn interrupted, getting a fist pump from Bailey.
Esa threw a napkin at Autumn, who threw it right back.
"You're just jealous," Brinley said smugly.
"Damn right we are!" Bailey shouted back, making us all laugh.
"I don't know why you're whining. I'm single, but I get plenty of sex. You're just doing single all wrong." Shasta swirled her wine, looking very much the sexy siren even though she was by far the oldest woman in the room. She was the perfect cougar.
Rainna whistled while the rest of us groaned. We didn't want to hear about Shasta's friends-with-benefits arrangements. We'd heard enough already since she was constantly chattering on about who her 'special friends' were. If I was on the one end of the spectrum with under-sharing, Shasta was on the far other end, that's for sure.
When everyone had settled down, I explained my reluctance to get involved any further with Kai. "I like the guy, but let's be real. He's a total hippie. He walks around barefoot most of the time, for cripes sake. Rainna can attest: we had a hippie for a father and I want nothing to do with that." Rainna nodded in agreement. "I really like Kai. I do. But long-term? I just don't see it working out."
"Hmm. Maybe I should take this one, guys," Brinley spoke up, eyebrows knitted. "Listen, Hessa. I had the world's worst father. Emotional and physical abuse the whole time growing up. Found out not long ago that he'd actually kidnapped me from my mother when I was an infant. Told me my whole life that my mom had passed away when I was a baby. I would never compare shitty parents, but I think I know where you're coming from with wanting to avoid getting involved with someone just like your father."
Wow. I'd had no idea she'd gone through all that. My father was just absent from my life. Her's sounded far worse. Plus, I'd always had my mom. She hadn't.
"So what advice do you have for me?" I hoped she'd keep sharing.
"When Dean barreled his way into my life, I was very resistant. In fact, I was downright rude to him. I had a huge wall built and thankfully, he stuck around and helped me pull that wall down, brick by brick. Let your past help you make smart decisions, but don't let it hold you back from the best thing that could happen to you simply because you're scared. Share your concerns with Kai and see what he says. I bet you'll be surprised with what he says. He's a good guy, Hessa. One of the best."
I spoke slowly, thinking about what she'd said. "Truth be told, Kai's never done or said anything to make me feel that he'd be just like my father. I've just made assumptions that he would. Maybe I should give him a chance."
Brinley smiled and nodded. I still couldn't get over what she'd gone through, and I fully appreciated her sharing that with me tonight. I leaned across the carpet to give her a hug.
Everyone seemed happy with my decision. We all raised our wineglasses for a toast in friendship and then spent another hour just drinking, talking about clothes, men, and if we all wanted to try surfing together one day. Rainna and Brinley, the only two sober among us, decided we were hammered if we were making plans to surf. Everyone disbanded, placing wineglasses in the kitchen and grabbing purses, before making their way to my front door.
