Page 19 of Barefoot Chaos
"So you've never tried to sell your songs?" Esa was having a hard time wrapping her brain around this just being a stress relief habit. To her, everything was a great new business idea.
"Well, no. Not really. I mean, it would be cool if someone thought they were good enough to buy, but no. It's mainly just for me."
"I don't know...I think your students have a point. You're scared to share your songs publicly, which is why daring you to do it was genius. But I have a question: if no one knows you write songs, how did this mystery person know to dare you to do it?" Bailey was as confused as I was.
"I don't know and that's what's freaking me out! I thought it might be my sister, but she said it wasn't her. Maybe they not only hacked my social media account but my cloud account too? That's where I keep my finished songs." I was getting worried again. If they'd hacked into my computer, I had bigger problems than just the dare.
"You better change all your passwords and check your accounts, just in case." Bailey lifted an eyebrow. "Come on, Hessa. Just sing us one song. Pretty please?" She clasped her hands together and looked like she was ready to beg.
Then Esa joined in, both of them giving me the most ridiculous puppy dog eyes, designed to weaken my resolve.
"Nooooo!" I jumped up to clear our plates. "Discussion over! Not gonna happen. No way. I'll be wearing a pine overcoat before that happens."
Bailey looked at Esa. "Is that one of your weird, mixed-up phrases?"
I interrupted, yelling over my shoulder as I went into the kitchen, "It means, over my dead body!"
Bailey shouted back at me. "Well, that's a little extreme. We should talk about why you have such low self-confidence, Hessa-girl. I bet your songs are beautiful and you're just too scared to share your brilliance with the world. I think you're being selfish and you don't even know it."
I popped back out of the kitchen to see that Bailey was dead serious. I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Ouch. No beating around the bush there.
"Time for us to go. Thanks for having us over." Esa jumped up and rushed Bailey to the front door, giving me an apologetic smile.
"Think about it..." Bailey called over her shoulder as Esa pushed her out the door. A trickle of shame climbed up my spine, like she'd seen something deep within myself I didn't want to acknowledge.
I was also back to wondering if I even wanted to be part of the Beach Squad.
I was three chapters into a new book on my e-reader, my eyes slowing losing focus when my phone rang. I glanced over at the clock on my bedside table, wondering who'd be calling at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night. I remembered to look at the screen first this time and saw it was Rainna. A sense of dread filled my stomach, a leftover reaction I hoped would go away in time.
"Hello?" I answered, grogginess making my voice a little slurred.
"I know you're still up, so don't act like you've been asleep, missy." My sister's voice carried the smile I knew was on her face.
I grunted. "Hey, I'm a hard-core librocubularist. What's your excuse?"
She laughed. "I won't even ask what that means. I'm up because I'm a tattoo artist. We work late." Her voice lost the humor. "And I had a very interesting guy in my chair a few moments ago. You need to hear this."
"Oh no, give it to me." I sat up straighter in bed and pulled my covers higher, needing the warmth.
"This guy just came in for a tattoo as a walk-in tonight. He was chatting to me about some dare that he had to complete by this weekend. Something about cliff jumping in Newport. I wouldn't have normally paid any attention, but he specifically used the word 'dare' just like you texted me about. Is something going on?" She sounded worried, which warmed my heart. I mean, I didn't want her upset on my account, but considering how long I'd gone thinking she didn't care about me at all, the concern felt nice.
"I'm not exactly sure, but I've got some friends looking into it for me. Are you sure you didn't hack into my Instabook page?"
Silence.
"Hessa. For the last time. No, I didn't hack into anything. I don't do the social media thing and I wouldn't do that to you. I wish you'd believe me." The concern in her voice was quickly turning to irritation.
I removed my glasses and rubbed my forehead. "I'm sorry. Really. I'm just at loose ends here and I don't know what's going on. I believe you and I won't doubt you again. Thank you for calling me and letting me know what you heard."
"If I hear anything else, I'll call you. Will you update me on what's going on so I know if you're okay?"
"You bet. Goodnight, Rainny-Day." I extended the olive branch in the form of our nicknames from when we were kids. The name felt rusty on my tongue. I couldn't remember the last time I called her that. Couldn't remember the last time I'd felt close enough to her to call her that.
"Goodnight, Hess-Mess."
Wednesday morning came and went. The conversation with my students about my dare dwindled as the day went on. I was confident that it would be practically forgotten by the time the weekend rolled around. I took a full, easy breath for the first time since Monday morning. I had hoped this would go away and life would return to normal.
My good mood might also have been something to do with a tan lifeguard meeting up with me tonight after work. There was something about his dimpled smile that lit me up from within. I wanted to see that smile, I wanted to be the reason he flashed that smile, and I wanted to bask in the glow of that happiness.
