Page 24 of Beach B!tch
10
Brinley
"Listen, I know you were cautious about what kind of guy Dean is, but now that you know he's one of the good ones, what's holding you back?" Esa asked me when we'd stopped walking on the cement path on the beach and started our cool-down routine. We'd created a routine of meeting up with Bailey, and the three of us would jog on the sand, but due to my ankle injury, the ladies agreed to slow down and take it to even ground.
"Nothing's holding me back. But I have to keep my focus on volleyball right now, so I don't have a lot of time for the whole dating thing," I replied with some force. Now they were on my case too?
"I thought you said Dean asked you out on a date? When is it?" Bailey asked a little too sweetly. I'd learned to tread carefully when Bailey went super sweet. Most times she had something snarky up her sleeve or she was gearing up to corner you in your argument and leave your head spinning and wondering where you went wrong.
"We haven't come up with a day yet since we're both busy." There. That was the truth. Couldn't argue with that.
Rule #1 of the Beach Squad: Never underestimate Bailey's ability to argue.
"Hmm...that's an interesting take on the situation. Dean told Ivan, who told Esa, who told me...that he'd thrown out all kinds of days and times and you shot down every single one." Bailey put both hands on her hips, damn proud of herself for trapping me.
Her sneaky little smile didn't intimidate me.
Two can play at that game. I didn't grow up with a drunk for a father without learning how to be slippery and get out of all kinds of inquisitions. "Well you know how the game of telephone goes. Dean says one thing, it gets twisted, innocently enough, before it makes it to the final person, and you can't even recognize the original version." I put a hand on my hip and lifted one eyebrow for good measure.
"Girls!" Esa interjected, glaring at Bailey, who deserved it, in my opinion. "This isn't the Jersey Shore. We don't turn on each other in the Squad. When someone has a problem, we help them. We don't attack, we help. You got me, Bailey?" Then she turned her laser beam gaze on me. "And you, Brinley, need some help, that's for damn sure. I love you, girlie, but damn, you are quite the enigma."
We all stared at each other, not sure how to continue after getting our asses chewed by Esa. Bailey looked at me, mouthing 'sorry'. I smiled back. Then we both leaped to wrap our arms around Esa, trying to break her out of the grumpiness we'd caused.
"What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?" I asked, not breaking the Esa sandwich just yet. Esa's lips quivered and Bailey rolled her eyes, even though I hadn't even told the punchline yet.
"Show me your mussels!" I shouted.
Bailey snorted right before Esa gave way and laughed. We broke apart, knowing all was forgiven, giggling as we sat down to stretch.
I'd decided on our run it was time to ask about normal family dynamics and dating expectations. I needed to confide in my friends and get some pointers. This thing with Dean wasn't just going to go away, nor did I want it to if I was being honest with myself, and I needed to check my pride and ask for help.
"Okay, okay. You're right. I've been avoiding setting the date with Dean. I don't have a lot of dating experience and I'm freaked out I'll be awkward and weird, so it's just easier to put it off. And it is true that I need to focus on volleyball right now and I don't know how to do both at the same time. And then don't get me started on his mom. She was nice, but totally invasive with her questions which made me feel self-conscious, and then I had lunch with his family and I didn't really know how to do that either. It's just a lot, you know? I feel ill-equipped to handle any of this. It's just safer to focus on volleyball. That I can do," I confessed what was going on in my head in a big rush. Like pulling off a band-aid, I felt it was best to dump it all out there. Let these ladies sort out my shit. I, certainly, was having no luck in that department.
Bailey and Esa were quiet for a few beats, most likely trying to decide what area of my mess to dissect first.
"Has anyone ever talked to you about holding things in until they explode? It's not good for your health, you know?" Bailey asked kindly, patting my arm.
"Yeah, I've heard that..." I tried, but failed, not to roll my eyes at her.
Esa, ever the peacemaker, jumped in to move the conversation along. "Let's talk about the mom situation first. I haven't had a mom for a while, but I do remember how excited mine could be about everything going on in my life. It's like when they birth us they lose all ability to have barriers. Like we're an extension of them, so asking all kinds of personal questions is acceptable. In fact, they feel they have a right to know what's going on in your life at all times. And with boys, I've heard it's even harder for them to connect like that, so I bet she just wants that daughter connection. As long as you feel comfortable enough to push back when she crosses a line, and she backs off, then I think this is just normal interest on her part. What do you think, Bailey?"
"I totally agree. But the biggest thing here is you've got to be strong enough to communicate what's an acceptable level of intrusion. And if you look at it another way, it's awesome that she's kind and wants to get to know you. That could be a great thing for you, Brinley. I wouldn't be scared of it...go with it."
They both smiled, doing more to ease my anxiety than anything else I could have told myself. When they said it that way, it sounded so easy. Like, what was the big deal? Just talk with the lady. I'd have to channel their easy-going conversation skills, but if I was sure of anything, it was that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. So, looked like it was time to focus on my social skills.
"All right, first date with Dean. I dare you to call him tonight and get that sucker scheduled within the next week. Do you accept my challenge?" Esa stuck her hand out, eyes gleaming with competitive fierceness. It was a look I was all too familiar with. This girl was good. There was no way she would challenge me to something and I wouldn't follow through. No chance in hell I'd let her beat me. And she knew it.
Even so, I grabbed her hand, giving it a good squeeze before shaking on it. "Consider it done."
Bailey whooped her approval of our friendly dare. "So, the date will be set after you talk to him tonight. What I want to know is what's "not a lot of dating experience"?" She used air quotes to remind me of my exact words in my earlier confession.
I took a deep breath and tried to keep the blush from showing on my cheeks. I hadn't even told them the biggest secret, but we could start with this one. "I've only officially dated three guys before. One in high school and two in college, but they were all short lived and not serious at all. I've gone on a few first dates since, but they were all weird and uncomfortable and never progressed to the second date, which I was fine with, to be honest." How could I put this so they'd understand? "I really like Dean. I don't want to mess this up. And there's a high probability I will. There's more at stake here and I'm terrified."
"You probably will say something ridiculous," Esa said, nodding in thought.
"Ouch..." I muttered. I found out the hard way that the truth did hurt.
Esa laughed. "Well, you will! And it's okay! Dean knows enough about you already to know you're a little awkward in social situations, and it hasn't turned him off yet, so I say, relax and be your weird self. He likes that."
