Page 2 of Beach B!tch
Focus, Brinley!I chided myself. I needed to get home, take a shower, make dinner, and then get to bed. No time for making puppy eyes at the hot lifeguard. I stiffened my spine, flicked my long, golden brown hair behind my back and stood to my full height of just under six feet. Back to all business, I marched off the beach, right to my beat up old Honda and headed home.
Brinley
When I reached my tiny apartment north of the beach in an older residential area, I tossed my bag down on the tiled floor of the kitchen before heading to the bathroom to shower.
As the water heated, I stripped out of my shorts and swim top, rinsing the top in the sink and hanging it to dry. Then I hopped in the shower and let the hot water send all the sand from every crevice of my body down the drain. I lathered my hair and body with soap, getting all the sunblock and sweat off. All my tired muscles and sore joints seemed to relax and turn to jelly.
My eyes were drifting shut as I moaned from the sheer pleasure of relaxing and allowing my thoughts to drift. I saw the lifeguard in my mind, retracing the lines of his body from memory. My hands traveled down my body, rinsing off all the soap, pausing on my breasts, wondering how it would feel for his rough hands to be cupping me instead.
My hands traveled lower as I pictured his hips pressing into me, that hard body up against mine, a close-up of every lean muscle a visual feast for my eyes only. I imagined him pushing me up against the shower wall, spreading my legs and lifting me up. I'd wrap my legs around his waist as he filled me, pumping in and out. Water splashing rhythmically as he attacked me with his hips.
I groaned out loud as the orgasm ripped through me, my eyes widening as I realized how far I'd gone with my little daydream. I blinked my thoughts back to the present while I allowed myself to continue enjoying the tiny aftershocks. That was a first for me. Usually I funneled any sexual tension into my volleyball training by pushing harder, not by indulging in a self-induced orgasm in my damn shower.
When the water turned cold, I turned the shower off, grabbed my towel and stepped out, only to see my reflection in the mirror, cheeks flushed and eyes more relaxed than I'd ever seen them. Holy shit, that guy hadn't even said a word to me and he still gave me an orgasm. That's impressive.
Then I frowned. Not impressive. Dangerous.
Distracting. Definitely not something I could have in my life right now, not even in my imagination. All my thoughts needed to be focused on achieving my dream. Everything else was secondary and needed to wait.
I continued to pep-talk myself as I dressed and got my dinner going. Left over chicken breast, a sweet potato in the microwave, and broccoli boiling on the stovetop. While everything cooked, I cleaned out my bag, putting my towel into the wash so the sand wouldn't spread like an itchy virus throughout my apartment. Sand was like men...always messy and before you knew it, it was everywhere, chafing you in all the wrong places. I snorted to myself at my comparison.
As I sat to eat my perfectly portioned out meal, my phone dinged, alerting me to a text message. It was from my friend, Esa, who I met through Strike Ready, where I taught self-defense classes. She had come in a few months back with Bailey, both of them looking to beef up their skills since Esa was plagued with a stalker. The stalker was recently caught after Esa defended herself when he attacked her. I was a proud teacher, and a much relieved friend.
I groaned in embarrassment as I remembered the first day we met. I was so nervous faced with Esa and her beautiful friend Bailey that I blurted out the most ridiculous joke. I did that sometimes when I was nervous in social situations. Which was, like, every social situation. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up, so connecting with others wasn't my strong suit. Thankfully, they'd looked beyond my awkwardness and we'd become friends, meeting up to go for runs on the beach or at Esa's hot chocolate shop at Pacific City. I'd only had her hot chocolate once, and it was divine. Way too much sugar for my strict diet, but I wasn't opposed to meeting up there just to have some company.
Esa:Party at my place next Saturday to celebrate Ivan and me moving in together!! You better be there & represent #BeachSquad!
My leg bounced up and down as I read her text. Oh, great. A big party. Where I'd be expected to be social and chitchat with perfect strangers. And I bet I couldn't eat or drink anything they'd have there, not with just four tournaments standing between me and that pro title.
But Esa was my friend, and I didn't have many, so I needed to go. I was grateful for the invite, given that I made little to no effort to nurture my few friendships. In fact, though the invite struck terror in my scared heart, it also stoked a warm flame. The flame that warmed me up on lonely nights when the darkness seemed to close in. I was making friends, people who genuinely loved me for me.
It was decided. I'd go, I'd bring them a bottle of wine or something and stay for a bit. I could do this. I could do anything I set my mind to.
Me:Hell yes, I'll be there! Gotta go dust off my joke book...
She'd love that. But I wasn't actually kidding. I needed those jokes to loosen up and converse. Where normal people talked about the weather or something, I had to break out the kid jokes like a total spaz and make everyone uncomfortable. Which then made me comfortable. Backward, I know, but that about summed up my social situation: awkward and backward.
I cleaned up my plate, turned off all the lights and climbed into bed, wide awake, listening to the deafening silence. When I'd first moved out on my own, the silence was music to my ears. No violent father disturbing the peace, no dorm room parties all night. But for the last few years, the silence had turned into a giant vacuum of raging nothingness, sucking out all the joy from the room, forcing me to face the fact that I was alone.
I wasn't alone by choice anymore. I was alone, unwillingly, because of my inability to open up and let people in.
So I laid there, mentally organizing my best jokes for next Saturday like a total nerd, and then without warning, my thoughts turned back to the lifeguard who captured my attention without a single word or gesture. I drifted off to sleep, those lustful thoughts fading into dreams that made me feel warmer than I'd felt today on the hot court in the sand.
