Page 15 of Beach B!tch
7
Brinley
I took a long hot shower last night, then decided to sleep on it. I'd call Esa tomorrow when I'd had time to process my visit with Dean.
When I called her the next morning, Esa was all too happy to chat with me about him.
"I was hoping we'd get back into this conversation. I know there's something going on between you two. It's like the air in the room changes when you're both in it. Tell me what's going on first and then I'll see if I have any insight that can help you," Esa said.
I sighed, realizing I'd have to 'fess up to my feelings, which was never an easy thing for me. I settled into my couch, glancing around at my apartment that I liked, but had never felt at home in. It was empty and devoid of any true warmth, which I was fearing represented my life at this point.
"Okay so, you're aware of most of it, but what I didn't tell you was that he intrigues me. Like, I'm drawn to him and I don't want to be. And, turns out, he's my trainer at rehab. You should have seen us yesterday. He was professional and kind and caring. And the boy knows how to give one hell of a foot massage!" I was getting warm all over just from thinking about it, even with a long night of sleep to give me distance. "It's like I can't figure out if he's a drinking, fighting hothead or a gorgeous, knowledgeable, kind man. Help me out, girlie!" I ended with a wail. I was all worked up again, and I honestly didn't care that my focus should have been on volleyball.
Esa's chuckle carried over the phone as she absorbed my outburst. "Oh, Brinley... I don't mean to laugh when I know you're worked up over this, but it's so nice to hear you talk like a normal girl. To know you really are human and not just a volleyball crushing, jui jitsu fighting machine."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm normal. Got it. Now what do I do??" I pleaded with her.
"You give the guy a chance! That's what you do. You have multiple people that have known Dean for a while that can vouch for him. You had a bad first impression that triggered you because of your background, but if you're interested in him enough to make you open up to me instead of being out on the volleyball court where you're comfortable, then you owe it to yourself to see this thing through. Talk to him. Give him a chance to explain what happened at the party and show you who he is. Then decide if that's what you want in your life."
Esa sounded so reasonable. And she had a point. I was worked up about him, which I'd never felt for a guy before. I trusted Esa and Bailey and Ivan, so if they said he was a good guy, I was at least open to seeing if I was wrong about him. I wasn't looking to date him, even if he turned out to be a great guy, because my volleyball success came before everything, but perhaps I could add him to my growing roster of friends. Lord knew I needed more friends. Plus, I felt good around him, a feeling I couldn't explain...it just was.
"I promise you he's a good guy, Brinley. Knowing what I know of your past, I would never say that unless I believed it one hundred percent," Esa's quiet voice reassured me.
"Someone crazy smart just told me to keep my heart open," I grumbled back.
"Sounds like good advice. So, you'll give him a chance? Have a normal conversation with an open heart and mind?" Esa asked, her enthusiasm making me smile.
"Okay to all of that. I'll see him tomorrow for my next rehab session and I promise you I'll keep an open mind. I'll have as normal a conversation as I can. Which isn't saying much, I know, but I'll try." I smiled into the phone, knowing Esa was smiling with me, remembering my awkwardness when I first met her.
"Just try to keep the jokes on lockdown, huh?" Esa laughed.
"That I can't promise. It's like blinking when sand goes in your eye...it just happens," I explain. My excitement was rapidly turning to panic as I realized my decision was made and now I would have to follow through with 'normal' social behavior. "Esa? I gotta go. I have more self-talk to work through tonight. Conversation starters to practice. Oh God, an outfit to plan!"
Esa burst out laughing, finding my panic amusing, which is not what I thought I was signing up for when I took her on as a friend. Once she calmed down enough to speak, she said, "Text your possible outfit choices to Bailey...she'll give you great feedback, don't worry. As for the rest, don't rehearse. Just relax around him and open up. Know what I mean?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about!" I exclaimed. "I don't have much to share, except maybe boring him to death with volleyball talk."
"Brinley. There's plenty of things you can share with him. If you honestly think you have nothing to offer, then we need to have a whole different conversation about your self-esteem." Esa dropped the joking and was dead serious now.
"Let's save that for the next therapy session, huh?" I knew what she meant, but that would take a while and I could only handle one thing at a time.
"You got it, girl. Go relax, try on some outfits, and relax. You got this," Esa reassured me.
"Thank you, Esa."
"It's what friends do, BB."
Dean
Brinley walked into the gym, dressed in tight Lululemon black pants that highlighted her every curve. All those workouts and games in the sand had been good for shaping a tight, round butt. I tried not to stare, but goddamn, that ass was distracting. Her hair was completely down and she'd done something to her eyes to make them greener than I remembered. In the back of my mind, I registered that she was walking without much of a limp today, but I was too engrossed in the way she swayed when she walked toward the front desk. It's like her hips and her hair were in concert, shifting left and right to a rhythm only she could hear.
"Fuck..." I muttered under my breath. Why did she have to look so damn good? It was hard enough to train her the other day when she was in her sweats and grumpy because I was her trainer. Maybe I could start the session with a full body massage? I wonder if she'd let me...
I shook my head to clear out thoughts of her long, lean body covered only in oil and my groping hands. I was too young to have a heart attack, right?
I walked up to the front desk to rescue her from Ashley. Brinley was smiling at her but I could tell last visit, she didn't care for her. I'd have to ask her about that.
"Brin! Good to see you again. How's the ankle?" I flashed her my best smile, pulling her toward me and tucking her into my side.
