Page 24 of Sweet Dreams
His left eye twitched, right before he gave a curt head nod and walked away, all business. I guess not acknowledging his existence began now. I suppose seriousness and focus is what you want in a private detective hired to protect you from a crazyperson.
That was when I noticed Ivan walking, or rather stalking, his way toward me across the beach. Based on his body language and the scowl on his face, he looked angry. Again though, why was he pissed? I'm the one who should be pissed off. Clearly, I'd have to explain how arguments worked, because he's got this allbackward.
He did that chin lift hello thing to his lifeguard buddy once he reached our group, but never took his stormy eyes off me. Then he assumed the male power pose: feet planted wide apart, arms crossed over the puffed-up chest. So naturally, I assumed the female power pose: hip cocked out, hand on hip, head tilted to the side, look of bored challenge on my face. Too bad I didn't have any gum. Chewing loudly and popping bubbles would really complete my pose. Even without, this should beinteresting.
Bailey came up next to me, ignoring the body language stand-off happening between Ivan and I. She explained she and Brinley would ride back in the truck to the volleyball nets. She'd wait for me there. Ivan finally took his gaze off me to tell Bailey she could take off. He'd be taking me home. She looked at me, I nodded in agreement, she handed me my cell phone back, and she tookoff.
"Are you okay?" Ivan asked softly, in direct opposition to his powerpose.
What was this? I was all ready to argue, and he started with a gentle question? I didn't know what to do with that except answer it truthfully. "Yeah, I'm okay now. I was really freaked out earlier but I'm betternow."
"Good. I'm sorry you were frightened. That's the last thing I want," Ivan continued in that soft voice. It's like he knew I was mad, which is why he was in that stance, but underneath all that defensiveness he cared aboutme.
I let out a big sigh, dropped my power stance, and just grabbed his arms. This was stupid. Bailey was right. I didn't want to fight, I just wanted him to understand why I was upset. "Babe, I specifically said no to the private detective. Your parents went behind my back and hired him anyway. I don't appreciate them going against my wishes like that. And I really don't appreciate being caught unaware, making a huge scene in front of my friends, and yours, and then ending up looking like a fool. Do you understand where I'm comingfrom?"
Ivan dropped his power stance too, grabbing my hands in his, pulling me closer to him. "I totally see what you mean. In my parents' defense, they were doing what they thought was necessary to protect you. They know I care about you, that you're special to me. I talked to them last night and told them about being questioned by DetectiveRamirez."
"What? Why?" I asked, stunned that Jack had officially questionedhim.
Ivan gave me a knowing stare and continued, his jaw tight with anger. "Apparently, he thinks your stalker could have been me, based on the timing of us dating. Did he share this withyou?"
I knew I had to tread lightly here. Ivan needed to know I trusted him. "Yes, he shared it with me a while ago and I told him I'd think about it. And Idid."
Ivan cocked his head to the side and gritted out, "And what did youdecide?"
I moved closer, put my hands on his chest and looked him right in the eye. "I know there's no way this attacker could be you. I've made some bad judgement calls in my past, but I've learned from them. I absolutely do not believe you would do anything to hurt me. I trust you,Ivan."
After a long couple seconds of silence, his shoulders dropped, and he blinked. Then he nodded his head slowly. "Good. I'm glad you trust me. Because I would never hurt you, Esa. Ever. Hurting you would just hurt me. And I explained all this to my parents which is why they insisted on hiring that private detective. They want this bastard caught so you and I can be free to see where this relationship is going, without some psycho hanging over our heads." Then he leaned down and kissed me lightly. "Thank you for trusting me, baby," hewhispered.
I smiled back and enjoyed his arms around me, holding me close. Crisisaverted.
Ivan chuckled. "And I did try calling you like five times today to warn you about the detective, but you didn't check yourphone."
"Why are you laughing?" I asked, pulling back. The volcano was starting to rumbleagain.
That just made him laugh harder. "Ya’ gotta admit, it is pretty funny. You were running from the guy who was supposed to be protecting you! He probably didn't know what the hell was wrong withyou."
"Ohh...that is not nice. There is nothing funny about this at all," I said, fighting the smile on my face, hands now on myhips.
Ivan calmed himself, gave me another quick kiss and then continued, placating and soothing me in a way that felt genuine. "It was a misunderstanding. An unfortunate one for sure, but it was no one's intention to make you feel like a fool. I'm sorry you felt that way." His arms wrapped around my waist once more and I couldn't hold on to any further anger. We both chuckled at how silly I must havelooked.
"I know. I'll try to let that part go," I agreed. "But I'm still not happy with your parents for making this decision without consulting me. They can't just go throwing their money around like that. I'm not some charity case or a child they need to take care of. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and making good decisions. I already feel like my life is out of control with this stalker out there waiting to pounce and wreak havoc. Your parents took away a little more of my control by taking this decision about the private detective away fromme."
"I completely see what you're saying. I can see that having some sort of control over your life is important right now. But I also know that sometimes we can't make the best decisions for ourselves because we're too involved in the situation. My parents saw that they could help, and they did. They aren't 'throwing their money around' or think of you as a charity case. They happen to have money and they want to use it for people they careabout."
Ivan pulled me tighter, up into his chest. "Esa, you're the first girl I've been interested in since Megan. My mom's so over the moon excited that I'm finally dating someone, she already sees you as her daughter. And I know you've been without parents for a while now, but maybe you need a little reminder that parents would do anything for their children. Let them take care of you. Allow them thatprivilege."
My eyes started to tear up, and I was at a loss for words. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest, a feeling I hadn't had since the year following my parents' death. Had I seen this whole situation wrong? Were they just doing what parents do? Maybe I had forgotten the way parents are with their kids. Maybe it was time to admit I needed help and let them, and Ivan, be there for me. I wasn't sure how to do that, but I was guessing it meant I needed to just enjoy the fact that they hired the private detective and I wasprotected.
I'd spent seven years now being the most independent woman I could be. Because I had to. Because there wasn't a safety net in the form of parents to bail me out in life. Survival meant doing everything myself, being responsible, figuring shit out on my own. Asking me to now let other people in would take a whole new set of skills. But I suppose if Ivan was taking a chance with his heart by letting me in, I needed to take a chance and let him into minetoo.
As one tear escaped my eye and ran down my cheek, I looked up at Ivan and whispered, "Okay." He cupped my cheek with his hand, wiped my tear with his thumb, and pulled me in for a kiss. It was sweet, it was tender, and it was full of promise. And as it always seemed to do, it got heated. Tongues battled, teeth nipped, and I wanted to climb my way up his body to get as close aspossible.
"Let's take you home, baby," Ivan whispered as he pulled away from the kiss. I smiled and nodded, knowing we'd had our first argument and come out the other side in one piece. I'd said what needed to be said, he'd listened, and then we'd talked it out. I felt heard and respected, not brushed aside or ridiculed. And what a beautiful thing that was in arelationship.
14
Ivan walkedme back to my flip-flops laying in the sand next to the volleyball nets. Then he took me home in his giant truck. We held hands the whole way, and he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. He kept sneaking glances at me. Probably to make sure I wasn't reverting back to mad. Or that I wasn't revving up the cryingbit.
