Page 11 of Sweet Dreams
My heart rate accelerated. Maybe because he called me 'baby'. Or because of the kiss. Or because he wanted to stay the night to protect me. Or maybe because I was scared I now had a psycho after me. It was a lot to take in. Crazy what a difference a week couldmake.
Ivan misinterpreted my silence and assured me, "I'll sleep on the couch. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, but I can't have youalone."
"Honestly, I'm too freaked out by what might be going on to worry about what you spending the night means. I think having you with me tonight would be a welcome distraction. I know Bailey won't mind either," I said quickly. If that's what it took to get him to feel like he was protecting me, then that was fine byme.
Ivan stroked my cheek and said, "Thank you for being reasonable. When do you get offtoday?"
"We don't close till nine but I have two employees closing, so I can leave any time after five," Ianswered.
"Good. I'll meet you here at your shop at five. We'll grab some dinner on the way home in my truck and hunker down for the evening. Okay?" Ivansaid.
"Yeah, that sounds perfect.” Then I did something I'd never done: I initiated. I leaned in and kissed him, pouring all my gratitude into the kiss. Having him with me tonight eased stress I didn't even know I was carrying. I was still worried, but it seemed like it was an easier load to bearnow.
6
By the timeIvan and I got back to my house that night, I was dead on my feet. The stress of the vandalism, plus the crazy flurry of customers left me wanting my pajamas and a night on the couch zoned out with Netflix. Ivan parked his truck in my driveway, hopped out, came around to my side, and helped me slide to the ground. He grabbed the takeout food bag with one hand, shut the door to his truck, and then grabbed my hand in his. We walked to my front door, and I scrounged around in my bag for a full two minutes before I found mykeys.
Ivan looked around at my house, taking in the faded brick that climbed up the bottom half of the outer walls. The top half was white paneling that matched the white columns and white picket fence that held up the front porch. I had rose bushes everywhere which added a ton of color and quite a bit of charm, thank you very much. You just couldn't see them right now because my porch light either wasn't on or wasn't working. Not sure when thathappened.
I heard him clear his throat right as I found my keys. A look over my shoulder showed Ivan with one eyebrow raised inannoyance.
"Baby. You can't stand out here in the dark looking for your keys. That's totally not safe. And where the hell is your porch light?" Ivan said in dismay. He looked around, shook his head at me, and hurried us into the now unlocked house. He put the food down on the side table, locked the door and flicked on the inside lights. "Do you have replacement lightbulbshere?"
"Um, I don't really know...maybe?" I said sheepishly. Home improvement wasn't my thing. Decorating, yes. Fixing,no.
"Okay, let's eat first, then I'll take inventory and see what you need done around here." Ivan moved the food containers to the dining room while I got plates andnapkins.
"So, tell me about your place. This house is in a great neighborhood and it's gorgeous. Do you rent? Own?" Ivan began as we tucked into our Mexican takeout. Las Barcas, just a couple blocks from my house, made killer fish tacos. It wasn't Taco Tuesday, but we didn't care. Tacos were good any damn night of theweek.
"Thank you. I own the house, believe it or not. My parents had paid the place off when I left for college. They died in a car accident my sophomore year and left the house to me since I'm an only child. I couldn't bear to sell it. Plus, I know they'd have such peace of mind knowing I always had a roof over my head," I said with a sad smile on myface.
Ivan dropped his fish taco, grabbed my hand tight, and focused in on my eyes. "I'm so sorry to hear about your parents, baby. I can only imagine what that must have been like.” His eyes had sympathy in them, and I squeezed his hand to let him know I wasokay.
"Yeah, it was difficult. Still is. But it gets better every day, and I had my girl Bailey to help me out during the really rough parts. She was grieving too, but she was always there for me. Helped me sort out the life insurance stuff. Helped me pack up their belongings and decide what to keep. Held me when everyone's life went on after a while and I was still drowning." I had tears in my eyes now as I remembered that year. "You know it's funny, I still expect them to walk through that front door. Seems like I was just talking to them yesterday, and at the same time, feels like I've been without them for a longtime."
Ivan leaned forward and kissed my forehead, one hand stroking through my hair. "I'm sorry, baby. Death sucks, doesn't it?" He had a look on his face that made me think he knew how much deathsucked.
I barked out a half laugh, wiping the tears from my eyes. "That's one way to put it, yeah. But enough of that. Let's finish our tacos and then I'll take you on the official house tour," I ended with a bravesmile.
I went to pick up my taco, but looked up again when I realized Ivan was still staring at me, frozen. I tilted my head to the side in silentquestion.
"You're this gorgeous, strong woman on the outside, and you've got all these deep layers on the inside. I can't wait to see them all," he said in a voice I hadn't heard before. It was soft but steadfast and held a reverence that melted some piece of my heart that had been hard and cold for toolong.
There was something in his eyes, a shadow that made me feel like he understood my grief. Which really drew me in, because as a twenty-year-old, none of my friends at college had experienced their parents dying. I was odd girl out. They were all into partying and getting laid, and I was into crying my eyes out over a devastating loss, sad songs on replay. It was enough to make me feel like no one understoodme.
I smiled. He smiled back. And we enjoyed the moment. We kept looking at each other, but we both went back to eating in comfortablesilence.
After we finished, we threw away our trash, and I showed him the rest of my home. The kitchen which he'd already seen, was not my favorite room since it needed to be updated and I hadn't gotten around to it, with starting my business and all. Next up was the downstairs bath and office. The office was mostly empty. It used to be filled with both my mom and my dad's stuff, but I'd boxed up most of it. It had just been too painful to see every day. I had to change the house or else I'd expect them to still be hanging out in the room. It had been hard, but I'd had to make the place my own if I was to livethere.
Then we went upstairs, and I showed him the two bedrooms, one mostly empty and the other crammed with Bailey's stuff, and the bathroom. Then I opened the doors to the master bedroom and showed him myroom.
When I'd decided to keep our family house after my parents died, I knew I'd have to take the master bedroom since it was now my house. But something about it didn't sit right, so I hired a contractor to gut their bedroom and redesign it so it was totally my space. It occupied the same spot in the floor plan, but it looked so different than it had growing up, that it truly felt like a new room holding only the memories I would make inthere.
The bedroom double doors opened up to a view of the California King size bed. I'd decorated the room in shades of white and grey. The bed was covered in an all-white quilt with loads of white pillows. The carpet had a thick pad with a low shag, grey carpet that was crazy soft on your feet. It got cold at night and in the overcast mornings being so close to the beach. Waking up and putting your feet down on what felt like a pile of slippers turned inside out felt like a little piece of heaven. I had white plantation shutters on all the windows, which were plentiful throughout the room. I liked my sunshine. I had a few paintings and photographs of beach scenes I adored. And then came the ultimate accessory: a real life, white & blue surfboard hung on the wall above my bed. My room was kick ass if I do say so myself. Which I do,often.
Ivan looked around the space, got a big smile on his face and simply said, "Rad."
Yep, that's exactly right. It gave me another happy glow inside to know he liked my personal space too. I was hoping he'd be spending more time in that space withme.
