Page 79 of Only for the Week
I take a moment to will my fists back to my lap when they really want to aim right at Ri’s jaw. “You know, Ri, a day ago a comment like that from you would’ve sliced me to my core. But now, I realize that your opinion of me doesn’t define me. I keep trying to save a relationship that should’ve died a long time ago. I’m done with that.”
“It’s just that easy for you to cut me off?”
“It’s not easy at all. But at this point it’s either lose you or lose me. And whether you and Mom believe I deserve it or not, I love me. A whole lot. I’m not willing to come in second anymore.”
She sucks in a breath, nodding slowly. “I wish I could do that. I wish I could cut people off and know that I’m gonna be better for it, but I’m not like you.”
“Why do you think that? Why do you and Mom think that I’m some unfeeling robot?”
“Because everything just comes so easily to you. You wanted to go to medical school? You got into your first choice and then your field of choice like that.”She snaps her fingers.
It’s so funny to me that just because they weren’t there for my struggles, they think they don’t exist. I’ve overcome a lot in my life. I’ve survived not feeling enough in my mom’s eyes. I’ve cried over plenty of boys. I’ve shed literal blood, sweat, and tears during my med school journey. I’ve suffered heartaches and growing pains. I’ve needed my mom and sister to be a support system more times than I can count. The problem lies within the fact that I never felt they could fulfill that need. I never felt important enough to them to ask.
“I worked my ass off to get where I am in my career, it didn’t come easily. And why are you talking about my career like you don’t own a whole business?”
She lets out a stony-faced laugh. “Yeah, and it’s failing.”
“What?”
“The line is not doing as well as I’d hoped. It’s already been taken out of a few department stores and business is dry. Hell, the only reason I’m still afloat right now is because Arnold pays all the bills.”
“Ri, why didn’t you tell me this?”
“Why do you think none of my investors, clients, or friends in the industry were invited to the wedding? It’s because they either don’t exist anymore, or I didn’t want to risk them exposing me to you or Mom.”
“I could’ve helped though.”
“I didn’t want your help. It’s embarrassing to always have to rely on my little sister for help. I’m the big sister. You’re supposed to come to me. But I guess I never inspired that in you.”
My mind is blown. I never knew her line was struggling so badly. She put her heart and soul into launching it, so I know it’s eating her up not to see the results she wanted.
I hate that this is where we’ve ended up. This place where I want to offer my sister comfort but don’t feel safe doing so. She’s standing inches away from me, but we are miles apart.
“Okay, fine. You didn’t want my help. But what about anyone else’s? Did you tell Mom and Dad? Did you tell Dani and Evie? Dani has a platform with millions of followers, she could’ve easily put you on. And Evie is a beast with marketing and graphic design. She could’ve helped with a rebrand.”
She hangs her head in shame. “No. It was bad enough having to tell Arnold that he had to cover all of our expenses because I couldn’t contribute. You think I wanted to admit failure to our friends? Our very successful friends? And no, I didn’t tell Mom and Dad. I was trying to be more like you and handle it myself.”
Now things are starting to make more sense. She’s been under an incredible amount of stress not only trying to keep her business afloat but also trying to hide her struggles from everyone around her. I know how exhausting that is, and I do sympathize with her, but I never took my frustrations out on her. I can’t keep giving her passes for how she’s treated me.
“Anything would’ve been better than how you went about it.”
“I know, I know. I’ve been awful to Arnold, too. I think it’s because I couldn’t contribute financially to our lives together. I felt the need to be in control of something. I needed to have a handle on something, so I tried to control every aspect of his life, including talking to you. I was so terrified he would come to his senses and leave me that I damn near made it happen.” She twists her face up into a frown. “I know he tried to kiss you. I believed you the minute you said it, but I didn’t want to see my greatest fear coming true.”
“Wow,” I huff. “You and Mom went to the same school of gaslighting.” What am I saying? Mom probably taught the class.
“Pretty much. He and I talked before we called that damn meeting about Cortez and he told me everything.”
“And?”
“He claims he doesn’t love you. He was just trying to sabotage our relationship because I scared him.”
I can believe that. I never believed what he said for a second. I just couldn’t believe he had the balls to try to use me to run from my sister.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to all of this, Ri.”
“Me either. I just got tired of holding it all in.”
“I know the feeling.”
