Page 66 of Where We Found Our Home
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Sasha, you okay?”
“I’m good. Police are on their way.” She looks over at the brick and lets out a deep sigh. She’s probably thanking the heavens that Nevaeh wasn’t here to witness that.
The police arrive to take pictures and bag up the brick for evidence. I’ve been chomping at the bit to see the brick because I could see there was a note attached to it, but we refused to touch it in the hopes that Eddie left fingerprints behind. I’m not holding my breath on that though, considering he’s never left them behind before. The cop on the scene turns over the brick so I can see what message Eddie’s left for me this time.“The time is coming. Hope you’re ready.”
Looks like he’s growing tired of this game he’s forced me into.Good, I’ve been tired.I just want this to finally be over.
Isaiah and their dad show up to board up Sasha’s windows while Lincoln and I sweep up the broken glass and help straighten up. She’s going to remain closed until her window is completely fixed, and I feel horrible that I’m costing her business. I take a moment to remind myself not to be selfish and take everyone’s choices away from them. They told me they wanted to stand by me and asked me not to push them away. I’m trying to honor that, but alarms are going off in my head, telling me we are in no way ready for what’s coming.
“Ciara.” Lincoln calls my name, and my attention snaps back to him. We’re standing in front of my door. I don’t even remember leaving Sasha’s.Fuck, I can’t afford to zone out like that. Stay vigilant.Lincoln covers my hands with his own, and I realize my hands are shaking too hard to put the key in the door. He grabs them from me and leads me inside to the couch before going through my security checks. Every time he does that for me, another piece of my heart becomes his. The pieces are falling so rapidly that his name is the only one my heart knows now.
“Everything is going to be okay,” he exhales as he sits down by me, and I can’t tell if he’s trying to convince me or himself.
“You can’t promise that, Linc.”
“There is no other option.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I decide to move on to the other elephant in the room. Jesus, was it just earlier today that he implied he loves me in a text? It feels like years have been shaved off my life since then. “So umm…we should probably talk. About what you said earlier.”
He seems grateful for the subject change. I’m glad I’m not the only one. “What did I say?” he asks.
“You know, when we were texting.”
“Oh, when you were getting all hot and bothered?”
“After that.”
“When I told you the whole bodyguard thing was the group’s idea?”
“After that.”
“When your brain short-circuited?” Oh, so we’re playing games now, I see.
“Before that.”
“No idea what you’re talking about.”
I roll my eyes and move to stand up when he grabs my wrist, rubbing his thumb over my pulse point.
“Ciara?”
“Yes?”
“I know what I said.” He pauses. “And I meant it.”
My breath rushes out of me. And again because Mama ain’t raise no fool, I need further clarification. “And just so we’re both on the same page here, what exactly did you say?”
He chuckles. “I love you. I think loving you was inevitable. I didn’t want it to be, but my soul recognized its match in you the moment you jumped in front of that car. It forced my heart to start beating again, just to answer your siren call.” My breath hitches as his words etch themselves onto my soul. “I’m not telling you this so you’ll say it back. It’s okay if you’re not there with me. I know life is complicated right now, and you may not be ready to hear this but I don’t want to go another day without telling you how I feel. Your courage feeds the piece of me that’s been hiding beneath the ashes of my life. Your selflessness calls out to my soul that’s been drifting away so slowly I didn’t even recognize it at first. I feel like myself again with you. You set me free, Angel. So I don’t care if you’re never ready to say the words back to me. I will always be yours.” He doesn’t even wait for me to respond. He just kisses the top of my head and then goes to the kitchen to make dinner.
Well…fuck.
Later that night, we’re lying in bed and I can’t bring myself to sleep. Every fiber of my being is pushing me to tell Lincoln how I feel, but the idea that I may not survive this is cutting the words short. I thought I had come so far, but I’m still letting Eddie control me. I’m still letting my fear stop me from living.
Lincoln has been through a lot. He was made to believe he wasn’t worthy of love because of his need to serve his community, and he fought through that to fall for me anyway. Me. The girl whose life is in shambles. The girl whose heart is covered in scars. Without even trying, he’s been soothing those scars away since the day I met him. He told me I set him free, and I think if I don’t make it out of this, my biggest regret in life will be not telling him he set me free too. He deserves to know that he’s more than worthy of love and heisloved. If I can’t keep him safe, I can at least give him that.
“Hey, Linc?”
