Page 62 of Where We Found Our Home
Sheesh.“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s all you have to say? You just bulldozed me into confessing that, and all you have to say is okay?”
“I asked a question. You answered it. Thank you.” My mother, ladies and gentleman.
This has been a whirlwind of a day. My nightmares have reached unbearable levels. I’ve unloaded my truths to the girls. I’ve confessed to my mom that I am in fact in love with Lincoln. I’m emotionally spent. What I need is to sleep for a full twenty-four hours, but no such luck. Nina and I are working tonight. The ladies—except Sasha who decided her carriage has turned back into a pumpkin and she goes back to wife and mom duties tonight—have decided that they’ll be spending the night at Neon scoping out what Austin has to offer in the man department. This is the perfect excuse to have Lincoln pay me a visit.
Me: What are you doing tonight?
Lincoln: Hmm well you still have a whole coven sleeping in your living room so I’m gonna say not you
Ugh, I need the release only that man can give me like yesterday.
Me: Don’t remind me
Lincoln: Khaleesi misses her Khal Drogo?
Me: Oh I’m definitely Beyoncé today
Lincoln: Oh well then in that case
Lincoln: *inserts gif of Jay Z fixing his cap in Change Clothes music video*
I literally laugh out loud at that, and Nina laughs at me so I give her the middle finger. Let me sext my man in peace.
Me: That’s the stuff right there *inserts gif of Beyoncé removing her glasses sexily*
Lincoln: LOL so what’d you have in mind for tonight?
Me: Come visit me at work!
Me: And bring the guys
Lincoln: Oh boy, Simone trying to sink her claws into Shane?
Me: I think you spelled ‘all of your friends’ wrong
Lincoln: *crying laughing emoji* We’ll be there
Lincoln: Btw, what’s Nina’s policy on quickies in the back room? Asking for a friend
Me: Wait…we were just talking about Simone so now I’m confused if you are really asking for a friend or for us
Lincoln: *three crying laughing emojis* See you tonight, Angel *wink emoji*
Me: *kissy emoji*
Later that night, Nina and I are busy behind the bar. I’ve just served yet another round of buttery nipple shots to a bachelorette party. The bride has on a white T-shirt that reads “Savage” while her bridesmaids have on black T-shirts that each state a different word—Sassy, Moody, Nasty, Classy, Boujee, and Ratchet. Meg Thee Stallion would be proud. It’s fitting that their personalities all seem to match up with the shirts they’re wearing. They’ve been the main source of entertainment tonight. The maid of honor aka “Ratchet” has been downing shots like a champ, celebrating each one with a clap of the booty cheeks. The “Boujee” bridesmaid has been demanding they switch to top-shelf liquor while the “Classy” bridesmaid has been downing her shots in between sips of her martini. The bride has been pitching her idea to her girls about creating a brand of lollipops in the flavor of her man’s dick. Needless to say her girls are not fans of that idea. Her man might just love it, who knows? I wish the happy couple the best. Looking at the bride’s flushed face though, I know someone will be cleaning up vomit tonight, and I hope it’s not me.
Right as Ms. “Sassy” starts dancing to Drake’s “Toosie Slide,” my girls walk in. I crack up because it never fails that we always look like a band of misfits when we go out together. Simone has on a short leather skirt with a V-neck, sleeveless bodysuit on and black strappy heels. Sarah has on a denim dress with brown thigh-high boots. Brittany has on light distressed jeans, a white off the shoulder crop top, and white Chucks. All they need is me in one of my bodysuit and jeans outfits to round out the weird crew. And if Sasha were here in one of her bright-ass dresses and Nina were decked out in one of her graphic tee outfits, we would really stand out. We’d be the reimagined Spice Girls.
The girls make their way to the bar, and I hug each one of them before getting their drinks. A tequila sunrise for Simone, a lager for Brittany, and a vodka cranberry for Sarah. Of course, the bachelorette party is drawn to my girls, and they become fast friends. Simone and “Ratchet” are engaging in a twerk contest, as much as Simone’s leather skirt will allow.
The air in the room changes and Simone’s jaw hits the floor letting me know the guys are here. I look up and these fools seriously look like the sexy cast of an action movie. They’re walking side by side, and every man and woman is clearing out of their way. I’m waiting for something to blow up behind them for special effect. Fucking fools.
“Holy. Shit. Those are Lincoln’s friends? How the fuck do you move to a new city and find a group of guy friends who look like the United Nations of gorgeousness?” I think it’s safe to say that Simone is pleased with me for having Lincoln bring his friends tonight.
