Page 36 of Where We Found Our Home
“What is it you want that you don’t have, Lincoln?”
“I don’t think you’re ready for that answer.” His eyes drink me in slowly.
Gulp.“You’re probably right about that.”
“You’re getting close though.”
“Oh really? You can sense that?”
“Yep. You’re so close I can taste it.” He licks his lips.
Oh, shit. Where are those paddles? Can I get them back, please?
“Lincoln,” I rasp. I’ve got to get us back to calm waters.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”Unless that question is “can I take you the nearest bathroom and fuck you.” In which case the answer will be “yes, but I don’t want to end up on some sort of list so please don’t ask.”
“What are your thoughts on dating someone with a dangerous job?”
Huh. “That is not where I thought you were going with that.”
“Oh, I already know the answer to my other question, but this is the one I’m really curious about.”
“What other question?”
He flashes that goddamn smirk at me again. “Answer the question that was asked, Angel. Please.”
There’s a desperation in his voice. He needs this. “Let me guess. We’re talking about a dangerous profession like a firefighter, correct?”
“Any job where safety is constantly at risk. Firefighter, cop, military. Any of it.”
“So you’re asking if I’d have a problem dating someone who did that for a living?”
“Yes. And would you ask him to quit?”
“I wouldn’t have a problem with it, and I would never ask him to quit.”
He arches his eyebrows. “Never? You really think you can say never?”
“Without a doubt.”
“How so?”
Lincoln and I are entering dangerous territory here. We’re obviously not talking in general terms and yet I don’t want to shy away from the question. I feel like this is a make-or-break moment for us, and even though I’m not ready to address the feelings I have for him, I do want to be clear in my feelings on this. He needs my complete and total honesty.
“Dating someone who puts their life on the line every time they walk out the door is not for the faint of heart. It takes a special person to accept that. But high risk brings high rewards, and being loved and cherished by someone whose heart is big enough to be willing to sacrifice for others every single day is an honor. And to ask a person who has made it their purpose in life to save lives and change the world to step away before they’re ready is a cruel injustice.”
His eyes widen, and he looks away for a moment. When his beautiful eyes meet mine again, I see a whole host of emotions swimming in them. Appreciation. Respect. Doubt. Fear. Anxiety. Hope.
My gut reaction is to reach for his hand, and I do. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just…I wasn’t expecting that answer, and I don’t know what to do with it, to be honest.”
“I’m missing part of the story here, aren’t I?”
He nods. “I was in a serious relationship three years ago. Her name was Erica. We had been together for three years, and we were gonna get married. I always knew my job was hard on her—it’s hard on all significant others—but she kept it to herself for the most part. I didn’t even know she was hurting. Until I got hurt on the job really bad once. I got trapped in a bad fire, evacuating the family out, and I almost didn’t make it. After that, she begged me to quit because she couldn’t handle it anymore. But that’s just not me. I was put on this Earth to do this. I believe that with my whole soul, and I couldn’t give it up. She told me I didn’t love her enough, and she left me.”
