Page 11 of Hope in his Darkness
Chapter Seven
Brody
As soon as I saw thehurt in her eyes, I know I fucked up. It is like knifing myself in the heart. I hurt because she hurts. Pulling at my hair as my animal rages at me, he is ready to tear out of my skin and beg her forgiveness. Hell, I am tempted to let him. I feel like shit for what I said to her. She doesn’t deserve my anger. She deserves to be treated like a damn queen by her mate and I am her mate. I could deny it all I wanted to, I can refuse to claim her all I wanted to, but the facts are still the facts. She is my mate, and I just treated her like shit.
“FUCK!” I growl out, pacing the confines of my room, trying to get my animal under control before he something stupid, like trying to claim her.
Sitting down on my bed, I look over at a picture of me and Georgia. It was taken years ago on her eighteenth birthday; we’d spent the whole day together at the lake. My arm was around her and we were both looking at the camera, smiling. I remember thinking this was the day I would tell her I was in love with her, but I couldn’t get the words out. Looking at the picture, I don’t feel the same sadness I used to. The sense of loss is gone. Maybe there is a reason I could never say the words to her.
Maybe that reason was she wasn’t ever meant to be mine, and I was never meant to be hers. We were never meant to be together, and that realization doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. A little late for that kind of revelation, considering I just fucked everything up with my actual mate. Couldn’t I have come to this conclusion like thirty minutes sooner, or hell like a day sooner? Now not only had I hurt my mate, but I am pretty sure she hates my fucking guts now.
“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” I repeat while bashing my hand against my head, hoping for some divine inspiration.
How was I going to unfuck the fuck up that just happened? How was I going to convince her that we are destined to be together? Maybe if I get on my knees and beg, she will forgive my stupidity. Somehow, I seriously doubt it, but it might be worth a shot if all else fails. Running my hands through my hair, I grip the back, pulling hard in frustration. How did I ever think Georgia was the one for me?
My gorilla snorts in derision at me, basically telling me he told me so. The truth is he did. He kept telling me she wasn’t ours, but I didn’t listen. I never fucking listened; instead, I latched onto a woman that could never be mine. Like a fucking barnacle, I latched onto Georgia and held onto the hope or the belief that she was mine. She isn’t though, she was always meant for Rooster, and that reality doesn’t hurt anymore.
Maybe it was the fact that Hope was here, filling my nose with her delicious scent. It calls to my animal like a physical thing, an invisible tether to each other. Does she feel it too? She was a human, maybe she doesn’t feel the pull the same way I do. Smiling, my cock jumps as I recall the scent of her arousal when she saw my body. She at least finds me attractive. That was a start, maybe I can work her up to be completely enamored by me by the end of the week.
My animal laughs openly laughs at me from the inside. If I left things up to him, he’d go all King Kong on her and just toss her over his shoulder. He grunts in agreement like Hope would ever let me do something like that to her. That girl had a backbone of steel, there’s no way she will put up with being manhandled like that. My gorilla huffs, crossing his arms, glaring at me from inside.
Look, buddy, you’re going to need to let me handle things with her. A deep growl emanates from my chest. He doesn’t trust me to handle things with Hope. Can’t say I blame him, I’ve kind of been a complete jackass to her since we met. Haven’t exactly made her feel welcome at work or in my home. I will make it up to her though. I will show her what she really means to me, and then I will claim her as my mate. This was no easy task I was setting myself, but good things in life are seldom easy.
Picking up my phone, I text the one person that might be able to help with fixing my fuck up. I haven’t talked to him since Georgia, and he rode off into the sunset together. He might have some insight that could help me unfuck myself since he’s been in a similar situation before. It’s late, but this is too important not to wake his ass up. Should I text him or should I just call him? As I’m pondering this, my phone goes off in my hand? I was momentarily shocked as I stared at the name on the display. How the fuck did he know I was about to call him? Answering, I don’t even get to say hello before he starts talking in rapid-fire.
“What the hell is going on? One of the mates here says you need my help. Do I need to bring the crew up? Is your dad alright? Should we just head that way now?” My mouth doesn’t seem to want to work. I’m still in a bit of a shock that he’s calling me.
“Brody, if you don’t answer me right now, I’m hopping on the bike and hauling ass up there.” Rooster sighs on the other end of the line and I get the impression he’s pacing for some reason.
“Hey Rooster.” It’s lame, I know it’s lame. He’s stressed, I can tell he’s stressed, but that’s the best I can come with after that revelation.
“Hey Rooster, that’s all you got for me. Do you need me or not? What the fuck is going on? George is over here worrying herself sick. Don’t fuck with me right now.” Shit, I don’t want to upset Georgia. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t need any stress.
“Shit, man, I’m sorry. Dad is fine, we’re all fine. Tell Georgia not to stress, everything is under control here.” Maybe my idea of calling him was a bad idea, clearly, he’s a bit high-strung.
“Then what the ever-loving is going on?” I debate for a minute or two whether to tell him. With Georgia pregnant, I’m sure his protectiveness is at max capacity at the moment. I know mine would be. My mind wonders for a second, picturing Hope round with our child. Something inside me seizes at the thought that it might never happen.
“Okay, maybe fine is an oversimplification of what’s actually going on.” I can hear Rooster growling in frustration.
“Give me the phone.” I hear her soft voice, followed by some rustling on the other end of the line. The same voice that used to draw me in, that used to be my weakness. Hearing it now, I don’t feel that way anymore. It’s like the tether I once felt for her has been cleaved in two. Suddenly I feel freer than I’ve felt in years, like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
“Brody, what is going on? Do I need to come up there? Rooster is saying nothing is wrong, but then Ashlynn said you needed him.” Her voice wobbles a little, like she’s about to cry. When we were growing up, I used to do everything in my power to keep her from crying. I still don’t like to hear her cry, but not for the same reason. Everything changed the moment Hope walked through those bar doors everything.
“Everything is fine Georgia, just some guy stuff I need to talk to Rooster about. Can you give the phone back to him, please?” I contemplate just telling Rooster don’t worry about it and talking to my dad instead, but I’m pretty sure my dad is pissed off at me at the moment.
“You’re saying that after almost two years of not talking to me, you would rather talk to my mate! Here, he wants to talk to you.” The phone goes quiet for a minute before Rooster comes back on.
“Man, if I was you I’d sleep with one eye open. She’s madder than a wet hen. I’m glad I’m not on the receiving end of her anger for once. I strongly suggest flowers, chocolate, and maybe even a gift certificate to get her nails done. Girls eat that shit up. Now tell me what the fuckity fuck is going on so I can crawl back in bed with my woman already.” Where do I even start? My gorilla crosses his arms, glaring at me, giving me a knowing look. Like get your head out of your ass and ask for some fucking help already before we lose the best thing that’s happened to us.
“Well good thing you know what girls like because that’s why I was about to call you. I...I huh...” Shit, this is harder than I thought it would be to admit.
“You what, jackass? Did you finally decide to stop using Sally Thumb and four sisters as your girlfriend? You want advice on how to get a real one? You should really wait for your mate man, best fucking thing ever. If I’d known how amazing being mated would be I never would have stuck my dick in anyone else.” I hear an oof followed by laughter at the end. Thinking about him and Georgia used to destroy me. Now it just grosses me out like a normal brother would feel about his sister. I decide the best course of action is just to blurt it out.
“I found my mate. Well, she found me, and then I fucked it all up.” I hear a low whistle followed by Rooster telling Georgia the news and her whooping and hollering.
“So, tell me what you need from me. Is there a boyfriend I need to take out for you? I can’t really leave Georgia right now, maybe I can get Kid or Wraith to do it.” He’s so relaxed while he talks about offing someone so I can be with my mate. Like it’s just another day at the office for him and his MC brothers.
“No, I don’t need anyone taken care of. I royally fucked up and need someone to help me unfuck it immediately.” I proceed to tell him exactly what happened. There’s a lot of growling, some cussing me out, and finally, some advice is given.
