Page 11 of Healing His Darkness
“Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said those things. My dad says I don’t have a filter, sorry.” Damn she’s cute when she’s embarrassed, her face lights up and I can’t help but want to just stare at her.
Mate. Bite her. Claim her. Ours.
It’s getting harder to ignore my inner animal, he’s getting more and more aggressive. Soon he’ll take over and I don’t know if I can stop him from claiming a woman that isn’t ours to claim. She can’t be ours; we had our chance with a mate, and it went to shit. Fate basically told me that I didn’t deserve a mate the day that Summer left me for good.
I thought it was just another one of her ploys to get me to chase after her. When weeks went by without a phone call, without her usual taunting I knew it was different. After a month I finally tracked her down, I told myself it was to make sure she was safe. The truth was I was hoping she’d see me and come running back. Damn, I was pathetic back then.
I found her living with a guy named Hagan, a grizzly shifter, pretty big dude. He smelled me long before I even made it up the walkway. When he opened the front door, I expected him to attack me, maybe tell me to fuck off, but he apologized. I was so dumbstruck that I stood there while he explained how his bear just knew instantly that she was his.
Then Summer came out and apologized. She said that somehow, she knew we really weren’t mates, that something was always off with us. I wanted to tell her, yeah, your cheating ass was what was off with us, but I knew it was more than that. She tried to tell me I needed to find the mate that was really meant for me, but when I left, I swore to her there would never be anyone but her.
Sitting here looking at George I’m beginning to wonder if maybe Summer was right. What if I forced something that wasn’t real all those years ago? Back then, I was so desperate to find my mate, maybe I convinced myself of something that was never really there. I wanted a family, I wanted what my parents had, and I wanted it so badly I lied to myself. Not only did I lie to myself, I forced my animal to mate with someone who wasn’t our true mate.
“Are you alright Rooster? You look a little pale.” She looks at me with concern in her eyes. Soft eyes, beautiful eyes, eyes I wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning for the rest of my life.
“Are you sure you’re healing alright? I can go get my dad. He’s the one who helped me get you inside and bandage you up.” I grab her by the wrist before she bolts out the door to get help. Just touching her again makes me relax a little. This can’t be happening, it must be my imagination, she can’t be what she feels like she is.
MATE!
“No.” I say a little too forcibly, causing her to jump.
“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” My fingers trace circles along her wrist, and she melts into me. What I’m about to do will definitely land me right in hell, but at the moment I can’t seem to find a fuck to give.
“Come back to bed. Please.” My animal purrs happily at the idea, my body hums with excitement thinking about having her body against mine again. I see the hesitation in her eyes, the battle she’s having within herself right before she seems to come to a decision.
“Okay, but just to sleep.” My animal gives a little hop inside, while I do a little happy dance on the inside. I must smile, because she stops right before she gets in the bed with me.
“I mean it Rooster; this is just to sleep. You’ve made it clear you aren’t ready for anything else, and until that changes then this is all we can have.” What the hell is she talking about? When did I make it clear I wasn’t ready for sex? I don’t remember us talking about sex. Maybe I said something in my sleep when I felt her body next to mine.
Whatever the case, I nod in agreement just so I can feel her next to me again. I’d agree that the sky was green if it got her back in bed with me. The fact that I’m so happy to just be lying next to her should be a huge clue of how important she is to me, but I push that down as she lays her head against my chest and curls into me. Letting out a satisfied sigh, I let me eyes drift shut, and for once in my life I’m happy to be in bed with a woman without having sex. Fate has definitely fucked me over, but for some reason I can’t be mad anymore.
8
GEORGE
He feels it, I know he feels it, but he’s fighting it. Maybe I should be more creeped out at the fact that I suddenly have feelings for a guy I’ve just met, but I don’t. Laying in his arms makes me feel like I belong, and this is where I belong for the rest of my life. That shit should scare me, after Rodney it should really scare me, but just having him touch me pushes all doubt right out of my head.
Now if I could get him to admit that he’s my mate, or I’m his mate, or however this whole fucking mate thing works it would be great. He’s been hurt before, just like me, so I know he’s going to fight it. I briefly thought about trying to seduce him in order to convince him to claim me, but I quickly nixed that idea. He’d probably feel manipulated into mating with me, and that’s not the way to start out a relationship.
I giggle a little to myself, thinking that I just met this guy and suddenly thinking about a relationship with him. Not just a relationship with him, but a lifetime relationship, like forever and ever. Who does that? I mean I’ve heard of love at first sight, but I never believed in it. After last night, I definitely believe that there is something to it now.
Maybe it’s not love at first sight, but more like finding your mate. Like humans are technically animals, maybe they keep some of those instincts. Maybe sometimes they find that one person that their soul knows belongs to them and they just think it’s love at first sight. It would make sense, because I knew as soon as I saw him that something was different about him. I’m not a shifter so it’s not like I have the instincts his animal does, but I could definitely feel something.
Waking up with his hand wrapped around my middle where he’s pulled me tight against his body makes me feel on top of the world. My hair moves a little each time he breathes out, tickling my cheek, but I can’t bring myself to move. Just being in his arms is magical, like it’s where I’m supposed to be. I don’t want that feeling to end, so I stay perfectly still for as long as possible.
“I know you’re awake beautiful.” His growly voice whispers against my ear, causing shivers to run up my spine.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was trying to let you sleep. Dad said sleep is the best way to help you heal.” He nuzzles my neck; he finds my button right behind my ear and kisses me so softly it feels like butterfly wings.
“Your dad is right, but right now I’m not thinking about sleep.” I can feel him lengthen as he nudges my ass with his cock. Holy fucking huge dicks Batman, okay maybe not huge, but compared to Rodney he is definitely a few levels up for me. Think of the difference between a pickle and a cucumber. Like you know the pickle started from the same kind of vine that the cucumber did, but the pickle just didn’t stay on long enough to develop right. Yeah, it’s like Rodney’s dick didn’t stay on the vine long enough to fully develop and clearly Rooster’s did.
“I can see that, or I should say feel that.” I can’t help the giggle that escapes me, like I’m some teenage girl with her first crush kind of giggle. Suddenly I feel self-conscious. He probably thinks I’m some immature little girl, not a woman who can rock his world.
“What’s wrong?” Is it crazy that I think it’s sexy as hell he can already tell that I’m upset? Oh God, I feel like one of those stage five clingers right now, like the stalker kind of chick, where everything he says and does must mean I’m special. When I don’t answer him right away, he rolls me onto my back and looks into my eyes.
Ladies when I say I got lost in his gaze, I mean my brain completely short circuited and anything I was going to say that would remotely sound intelligent flew right out of it. He’s got the kind of eyes that pull you into their depths. Last night looking at him from a distance was intoxicating, but being face to face with him, I have no defense against it.
“Hi.” I manage to squeak out in a high chipmunk voice that I have no idea where it came from.
