Page 49 of Cottage in the Mist
Katherine took a step forward, stopping a few paces back from the low battlement wall, shooting a wary look down before lifting her head defiantly. “I’m not all that fond of heights,” she said by way of explanation.
“Then why come up here?” he asked, his eyes still trained on the stone structure across the river.
“To find you.” She smiled with a shrug. “And because I figure if I do this often enough, it’ll become less of a bother.” She moved forward, resting one hand on the wall.
“Iain’s a lucky man.” Bram clenched his fist, trying not to let his rioting feelings get the best of him.
“Yes, well, we’re both lucky. And tenacious. What we have is a gift. But it didn’t come easily. And it has to be maintained. Which sometimes means fighting to protect it.”
“That’s what I thought I was doing,” Bram whispered, his mind conjuring the image of Lily as she lay sleeping in their bed. “I know it had to be done, and yet I feel as if I betrayed her.”
“I take it she didn’t know you were going to leave her?”
He didn’t question how she knew what had happened. Katherine had a way of seeing the truth without any need for words. “Nay. She wanted to come with me. To fight the Comyns.” He struggled against a wash of pride and fear, the juxtaposition of the two emotions threatening to unman him. “I couldna let her do it. Surely you can see that?”
“I can see that you believed it was the right thing to do.”
“But you do not agree.”
“It isn’t my place to agree or disagree. You did what you thought was right. That’s all that matters.”
“Mayhap. But what if I was wrong? Or even if I was right, what if in leaving her, I’ve lost her forever?”
Beside him, Katherine sighed. “I wish I had answers for you. Something that would make it all okay.”
He frowned at the last bit, not recognizing the word.
“Make it all right,” she amended with a smile. “It isn’t easy trying to live in one century when you’re from another. And the decision to come here to stay isn’t one to be made in haste.”
“So you thought about it long and hard, did you?” Bram asked, fairly certain he already knew the answer.
Katherine laughed. “Well, yes and no. I mean, it did take me a while to realize I needed to come back to Scotland.”
“Eight years,” Bram said with a huff of impatience.
“Yes. But I didn’t know that Iain was real. It’s different with you and your Lily.”
He started to correct her, to say that she wasn’t ‘his’, but the words died in his throat. They belonged to each other as surely as he was breathing. The only difficulty was that they didn’toccupy the same space and time. “But after you knew. That he was real, I mean. Did you do the logical thing then?”
“No.” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her waist as she remembered. “All I could think about was how much I loved him. And nothing could be allowed to stand in the way of that.”
“But that’s exactly what I’ve done, isn’t it? Let my father’s death and the situation with the Comyns come between us. I left her behind, Katherine. After a night like I’ve never known.”
“Why did you walk out the door, Bram?” she asked, her voice gentle, full of understanding.
“Because I was afraid the daft woman would truly follow me into battle. And if anything were to happen to her, I’d… I’d…” He trailed off, his gaze still locked on the distant cottage.
“You wanted to protect her. There’s nothing wrong in that.”
“Except that she’ll no’ understand. She’ll see it as a betrayal. And I canna help but think she willna want to come back here again.”
“I think you’re judging her too harshly. She’ll be angry, I’m certain. And perhaps at first she’ll see what you did as a betrayal. But I’m also sure that once she has a chance to think on it, she’ll understand that you did what you did because you love her.”
“I do,” he said, the thought making him ache inside. “Love her, I mean. Ach, Katherine, what have I done?”
“You’ve made a choice. And now you just have to have faith that it will all come out right in the end.”
“Like it did for you and Iain.”
