Page 38 of The Seaside Homecoming
Mamma sighed. “We learned of her whereabouts in a letter from Aunt Mercer saying she had shown up on her doorstep asking for shelter, offering to serve as her companion in exchange for room and board. Your father wrote back and told her that if she was willing, that was up to her, but as far as he was concerned his eldest daughter was dead to him and would not be welcomed back in his house.”
“How awful,” Georgie murmured.
“Yes, it was.”
“I mean, how awful for Claire.”
Sarah said quietly, “It was awful for all of us, Georgie.”
“But she is the only one who had her life upended by it.”
“How can you say that?” Mamma shot to her feet, face stricken. “Your father was so upset by it that he had not one but two apoplexies. The first left him bedridden and stole his speech. The second took his life. I lost my husband, and you, your father. And with him dead, we all lost our home and financial security. Don’t try to tell me Claire is the only one who suffered consequences from her actions. We all suffered.”
A heated silence followed.
After a time, Emily said gently, “Yes, there were consequences. I lost Charles, for example. For a long time I thought I should break my heart over it. Then I learned he was not the man for me. James is. Something good came from it too.”
“And I lost my big sister,” Georgie said. “For two years. Now she is here. Why can we not forget the past and go on? She is family.”
“You may forget the past all you like,” Mamma said. “I do not have that luxury. Before he lost the power of speech, your father extracted a promise from me not to harbor her or even speak her name. Sarah was in the room at the time. She can attest to it.”
Sarah nodded grimly, the dreadful memory revisiting her. “If it helps at all, Papa was concerned about the rest of us. He wanted to protect us from disgrace as much as possible.”
Sarah did not repeat all he had said. But she remembered.
“Her reputation is ruined beyond repair. Painful or not, she must now be dead to us. The position of eldest daughter falls to you, Sarah. Eugenia, you must promise me not to aid her in any way, nor correspond with her. Do I make myself clear? We have four other daughters to think of....”
Soon after that, he had his first apoplexy and was less able to communicate, which frustrated him to no end. He became bitter and snappish. Two months later he suffered a second attack and died.
Georgiana seemed to absorb the details slowly and did not look satisfied.
“Mamma, she is still your daughter. Don’t you care what happens to her?”
“Of course I care! If your father thought a few words could banish one of my children from my heart, then he had no idea what a mother’s heart is. It is called maternal instinct for a reason! Even so, I won’t pretend I did not share his disappointmentover what she had done—and his anger at that man. That goes without saying. I was livid with that scoundrel, and disappointed in my daughter, whom I’d raised to protect her virtue and reputation. I was also disappointed in Charles Parker for inviting the man into our neighborhood. Disappointed with your father for being unable to do anything about it...”
“And disappointed with me, for not preventing it?” Sarah asked softly.
Mamma looked at her. “I suppose I was. I know the bonds between sisters are tenacious, but that was taking loyalty too far. I was also disappointed in myself. So wrapped up in my own ailments that I was not even aware of the romance building between one of my daughters and a veritable stranger. I did not rouse myself to join the party. Did not urge your father to attend.
“And how I worried when we learned that jackanapes had returned without her and we did not know where she was. Had she any money? Was she in mortal danger? As much as I disliked your father’s aunt, I was relieved when she wrote to tell us Claire was there with her. Safe.
“No one told me parenting would be so difficult. When you girls were little, I foolishly thought I would train and nurture you for, oh, twenty years or so, and then you would marry and live contentedly on your own and my time for parenting would be over. Perhaps for some women that is so but not for me. Don’t mistake me. I don’t resent it. I love you and am blessed to be your mother. I hope you know that.”
“Do you still love Claire?” Georgie asked.
Mamma’s eyes filled with tears. Voice hoarse, she said, “Of course I do.”
Sarah felt tears prick her own eyes in response.
After a few moments of silence, Emily said, “Forgive me, Mamma, but I long to speak to Claire. Heavens! She has noteven met my husband yet, nor Viola’s, although that will have to wait until she and the major return. Perhaps it is better we don’t overwhelm her with too many new people at once.”
“I want to go too,” Georgie said, rising eagerly.
“You promised to go sea-bathing with me today,” Mamma said, an oddly plaintive note in her voice.
“Oh. That’s right.” Georgie sat back down. “At least I’ve already talked to her once. Do be sure to tell her I send my love and hope to see her again soon.”
Emily nodded. “Sarah, will you come?”
