Page 139 of A Winter By the Sea
“Did he truly not relent? When you told him you would not marry him if that meant never seeing Claire again, did he not suggest a compromise? Perhaps agreeing to visit her elsewhere but not invite her to May Park, something like that?”
Emily looked at her in surprise, the notion never having crossed her mind. “No.”
“Then, my dear, I don’t think you have made a mistake.”
Emily swiped the heels of her hands across her eyes. “I pray you’re right. But Claire may never return, and I will have lost them both, forever.”
———
When Viola left, Emily went to Mamma’s room, determined to remain calm. Through the open door, she saw her mother, neatly dressed and sitting at her writing desk. When she turned toward the door, Emily also saw that she looked nervous.
She glanced past Emily. “Is Charles not here yet?”
“Here and gone. I told him he need not speak to you first. I hope you don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind at all, but—”
“Oh, Mamma...” Despite her intentions, Emily’s chin quivered and tears swamped her eyes.
“My dear!” Mamma rose quickly and embraced her. “What has happened?”
“I told him I could not marry him. Are you very disappointed in me?”
“No, of course not.” She handed Emily a handkerchief, and the two sat down beside each other. “Why are you so upset? Did he demand a reason? A larger dowry...?”
Emily shook her head. “I certainly gave him a reason. Several.”
Mamma straightened, expression wary. “What reasons?”
Emily wiped her eyes and took a steadying breath. “Because of ... Claire. Sorry. I know you don’t like her spoken of, but she is part of the reason. I can’t abide that Charles blames her and severed ties with our entire family while ...that man... goes on his merry way.” Indignation surged, briefly surmounting her sadness.
“Emily, please.” Mamma held a hand to her head, face contorted in pain. “Your father made me promise on his deathbed....”
“It’s not fair.”
“I agree. But as I’ve told you girls time and again, society holds young ladies to higher standards. We may not like that, yet we ignore it to our peril. Many lives and whole families have been destroyed by less, as we’ve had a taste of.”
“What aboutherlife? Charles said his parents would only give their blessing if she remains in Scotland.”
Mamma’s eyes narrowed. “Charles told me he’d said nothing to his parents about what happened.”
“Even so, they apparently have their suspicions.”
Mamma closed her eyes and groaned. Then she looked up and said flatly, “Please understand, I have no intention of asking anyone to return. Tell me that is not the only reason you refused him.”
“It’s not. His mother does not approve of the match. She has never really approved of me, even before what happened. She told Charles Icouldbecome a lady of distinction with very little guidance. Hers.”
Mamma’s eyes flashed. “Louise has always had too high of an opinion of herself.”
Emily mentioned another reason, although a lesser one. “Charles is not keen on my writing books either. At least, not publishing them, or being paid for them, and certainly not having my name on them.”
“That does not surprise me. Novel writing is another thing society frowns upon, and the Parkers have always cared a great deal about the opinion of others.”
Emily nodded. “Charles is genuinely sorry, though. About everything. And he cried, Mamma, when I said no.” Emily’s voice broke. “I feel terrible. I may not like everything he’s become—so determined to toe the mark, to satisfy the demands of society and his parents. But Charles himself, the boy from May Park...” Again Emily’s eyes filled. “I suppose I shall always love him.”
Mamma reached over and held her hand. “Yet you cannot marry him?”
Emily pressed her eyes closed for a long moment and then opened them again. “No.”
