Page 79 of Surrender to the Earl
The sincerity and relief in her voice finally made Audrey give a faint smile. She walked toward the front hall, knowing Blythe followed her.
“Come into my study, Blythe.”
She shut the door behind her sister and leaned against it, closing her eyes, feeling like she could slide right to the floor with sad weariness. But at least she had the truth now, and she could find a way to deal with it. She told Blythe all about Louisa and little Arthur.
When she was done, Blythe breathed, “Oh my.”
“I’m glad I can’t see the pity on your face. You warned me about Martin. I didn’t want to listen. I was dazzled by his courtship.”
“You wouldn’t see pity,” Blythe insisted, “but anger and sadness. Any man could marry a woman and do what Mr. Blake did. It wasn’t because you were blind.”
And then they were hugging, and Audrey felt a fierce gladness and even disbelief that she was clinging to her sister of all people.
“It’s a good thing you have at last found a man worthy of you,” Blythe said.
Audrey gave a bitter laugh as she stepped back. She didn’t even hesitate with her next words. “That’s the sad thing, Blythe. Our engagement is fictitious, all a sham to get me away from Father’s house.”
Blythe gasped. “But … I don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to marry again, not ever,” Audrey said fiercely, knowing after today’s revelation it was even more the truth. “I won’t be any man’s wife again, I won’t be under someone’s power. Doesn’t this—this new secret of Martin’s prove that my course is right?”
“Was this false engagement his lordship’s idea?” Blythe demanded, sounding bewildered.
“As Martin’s fellow soldier, he wanted to help me, and this is what I asked for, his escort, protection, and advice until I could set up my household. The engagement was the only way he felt we could leave Father’s household without too much resistance.” She hesitated. “Do you … do you hate me for the lies?”
“Hate you? How could I hate you when only lies would let you live your life the way you wanted? I never helped at all—no, no, I helpeddriveyou to such desperation!”
“You had no power over Father either.”
“But I could have supported you, tried to convince him.” Her voice went ragged with emotion. “Instead I thought you couldn’t possibly be alone. Maybe I was putting my own weakness on you—oh, I don’t know. But it was wrong of me, Audrey, and I regret it so terribly.”
And then they were hugging again, and Audrey felt the sting of tears she hadn’t imagined in such a long time. Happy tears, if one could claim any happiness in this terrible debacle of a day.
Then Blythe straightened and put both hands on Audrey’s shoulders. “But as for Lord Knightsbridge—Audrey, you haven’t seen what I’ve seen, the way he looks at you. He truly cares about you. And … you’ve kissed him, when it couldn’t matter to anyone but the two of you. He’s been here for you almost every day.”
“Because he feels like he needs to take care of me,” Audrey said bitterly. “That’s pity, Blythe.”
“Pity? Was it pity when our mother watched out for us, taught us, protected us?”
“She was ourmother.”
“That was love. Why cannot Lord Knightsbridge’s protection of you be love? Do we not want to help those we care for?”
Audrey found herself swallowing at the hurt that was like a lump in her throat. She didn’t want to believe it could be love, couldn’t bear that her resolve to be independent could harm Robert. “No, Blythe, he doesn’t love me, and I don’t love him.” Saying that aloud felt like she spoke thickly, with ashes in her mouth, and she didn’t know why that suddenly frightened her. “He feels pity, I know he does, because now that he’s seen how much help I need, my problem with the servants, he’s decided we really should marry.”
Blythe was strangely silent.
“Then you agree with me,” Audrey continued.
“No, no, I’m trying to understand it all. He’s actually proposed marriage, and you turned him down—a man who cares for you, anearl,for heaven’s sake?”
Audrey groaned. “You know I don’t care about titles! And you shouldn’t either.”
“Don’t be so hasty dismissing his proposal. I know you care for him, too. Admit you feel more for him than you ever felt for Mr. Blake.”
“It is different. Robert and I have been … friends.”
Blythe snorted.
