Page 75 of The Viscount in her Bedroom
Every memory of her happy life as a popular woman of Society was tainted. Every meaning, every motive was suspect now, and memories flashed in her head at a dizzying pace. She had thought herself so happy, so popular, so at ease, and instead, everything was a lie.
And since nothing had happened with any man—not even a kiss, until Simon!—she couldn’t tell herself that even memories from an earlier time were all right. She had to disbelieve it all.
No wonder Simon didn’t want to leave her alone with his sister. No wonder he questioned his grandmother’s motives. Louisa shuddered. Lady Wade couldn’t possibly know…could she? But no, Louisa would have been let go if the dear lady had thought she could harm her granddaughter.
Her newest dreams for the future were dead now. She could not in good conscience ask innocent families to hire her to help their daughters. She let out a hoarse laugh. As if she even trusted herself to have anything worth teaching. Simon had said he heard these rumors from a few men, but might they not have told women, too? She hugged herself forlornly.
Simon had known the truth about her reputation, and said nothing. He’d obviously meant to protect Georgie—that was his reason for being here tonight, Louisa thought bitterly. He wasn’t recovering, as she’d hoped; he was desperate. Now she understood why he’d questioned Leo’s protection of Georgie at the dinner party a few days ago, and why he’d had to take over himself.
Had Simon allowed Louisa to remain at Enfield Manor for a different purpose? Her stomach convulsed with nausea, and she grasped the balustrade for support even as her tears continued to flow unchecked. Was she truly even moreconvenientthan she’d thought? Had he considered her an easy way for a blind man to—
She couldn’t even think the words.
She found herself questioning everything anyone had said to her these last weeks.
“Louisa!”
Hastily, she wiped the wetness from her face and hoped the torches that lit the terrace hid much. Struggling for calm, she turned to face her student. With a shiver, she realized she shouldn’t even call Georgie that anymore.
Louisa put on a smile. “Are you enjoying yourself, Georgie?”
Georgie studied her with worry, and Louisa realized that she wasn’t hiding her own emotions well.
Georgie briefly touched her arm. “I was doing fine until I saw your face when you left Simon.”
“Left—” And then she realized that she’d left him alone. “Oh, Georgie, is he all right?”
“I can’t believe you’re worried about him after what he said to you. He’s not helpless.”
Louisa looked away. “He shouldn’t have told you,” she said in a hollow voice.
“I forced him to. I hope you don’t judge us all on his idiocy.”
Louisa gave her a faint smile. “He only wants you safe, Georgie. None of this is his fault.”
“Hurting you is. He certainly didn’t have to tell you about these foolish lies.”
“He didn’t mean to.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“And I can’t even call them lies, not anymore.” The words shuddered out of Louisa.
“You’re talking about you and Simon,” Georgie said flatly.
Louisa closed her eyes. “Am I that obvious?”
“He can’t keep himself from being near you. I’ve thought it was wonderful.”
“And now you know that there was a darker reason. He must have thought that I—”
“Louisa, I’ve known my brother a lot longer than you. Even if he believed those lies, he would never treat you like that.”
“Maybe we don’t understand what it’s like to be trapped in the dark forever, feeling desperate.”
“He can be a fool, but I won’t let you think the worst of him. Whatever you two have together, it is not a sordid, ugly thing. I’ve been hoping,” she lowered her voice, “that you might someday be a sister to me.”
Louisa choked back a sob. “That won’t happen, Georgie. He does not want to marry.”
