Page 76 of The Lord Next Door
“How old were you?” she whispered.
“Sixteen.”
“Oh, David, you were still but a child, traumatized by your mother’s death—”
“I wasn’t a child, Victoria. Not by then.”
He removed his hand from under hers and went back to staring out into the blackness. An occasional gas lamp illuminated shadows beyond his profile. With aching eyes, she refused to let find relief in tears, Victoria could only watch him and worry.
For the first time, he didn’t come to her bedroom that night. Only then did she cry.
Chapter
Nineteen
Victoria came down to breakfast alone. She knew David had not left the town house yet, but he didn’t join her either. To her surprise, his father did.
Nurse Carter positioned his wheelchair at the table, then curtsied as she took her leave.
Victoria smiled at the old man. “Good morning, my lord.”
He only harrumphed, then had a footman bring him ham and eggs. Surely that was more than he’d eaten in a while, and she held her breath as he dug in. By the time he’d eaten a few bites, it was obvious he still did not have a healthy appetite, but it was a start. If he took better care of himself perhaps he could hold off the consequences of his illness for a while longer.
He looked up and caught her watching. “The dinner party a success?”
She wasn’t sure how he meant the question, so she just answered truthfully. “Not really.” She hesitated. “Lady Sarah Palmer made certain to introduce herself to me.” She glanced at both footmen, and they wisely bowed and left the room.
Though the earl scowled, she thought she saw a flash of pain and guilt in his eyes. “Never much to say for the girl. Somehow landed herself a marquess.”
“But not your son.”
“No.” He swallowed and sat back. “The boy was devastated. I wouldn’t see that it was my fault until—until recently.”
She held her breath, hoping he wouldn’t stop.
“I found a woman to keep me company in my old age. I had to pay her, but that didn’t matter. Every man pays the woman in his life in some manner.”
He looked away, and the gesture reminded her of his son.
“David didn’t understand,” he continued. “I don’t blame him. I thought the ton wouldn’t care what I did, that an earl was above any petty gossip. Even after he married you, I still didn’t realize what I’d done.”
She stiffened. “You were angry at him—at me.”
He gave a grudging smile, something she’d never seen on his face. “For a while.”
“Why don’t you talk to him about these things?” she asked gently.
“It’s too late. He’ll be rid of me soon enough. Things will be better between you.”
“You are not standing between us,” she insisted.
He shrugged. “Get me more eggs, girl. I find myself hungry today.”
Later, after the earl had been wheeled away, Victoria debated her strategy for her marriage. She was not deterred by David’s stubbornness. She deliberately left her household journal at his place at the table, knowing he hadn’t eaten yet. Then she went off to visit her mother, who expected a report on the dinner party.
~oOo~
As David walked down to breakfast, he was still berating himself on how late he’d risen. It had been difficult to sleep, knowing Victoria was just next door, waiting for him. But too much had happened last night, and he didn’t know what to think about it all. He hated that she knew some of his secrets, and couldn’t decide if this strange sensation was relief or just further confusion. And who was he punishing by staying away from her room—her or himself?
