Page 90 of Love with a Scottish Outlaw
It was a strange conversation to have when they were utterly naked, their legs touching. But without clothes, after such an intimate act, there seemed to be no barriers between them and facing what he’d done to her.
“I trusted ye, Duncan. Ye’d saved me. I thought ye were so noble.”
“I have no claims to nobility,” he said hoarsely. “At first, I thought I was justified—not that it makes what I did right. Guilt about what had been done to my clan was its own powerful weapon that let me deceive myself, that let me ignore that ye weren’t your father, that I was punishing ye.”
“And when ye discovered my father was dead, when your plan no longer mattered? Ye didn’t take me back.”
“I couldn’t,” he said hoarsely. “Ye mattered too much to me. And in my selfishness, I still kept the truth hidden from ye, as if I could find a magic potion to make it all work out.”
“But instead ye lost me, Duncan.” Her words were solemn.
“I knew that, and yet it did not stop me from seducing ye, another wrong I have done to ye.”
She stiffened. “Nay, not that. I wanted this as much as you.”
He sat up on the edge of the bed, his profile somber. “I’ve kidnapped and then taken the innocence of an earl’s sister. I have no life to offer in a cave, though honor demands I wed ye.”
She moved away so they weren’t touching. “I don’t want to marry ye, Duncan. I went off to search for a man I trust—and you can never be that man.”
He said nothing, because it was her choice, not his.
“As for why I offered myself to ye . . .” She looked away. “It was passion, not love, a fire that burns quickly, and just as easily burns out.”
He nodded silently.
“But, Duncan, the whisky smuggling—it has to stop, for the safety of both our clans, or it’ll only worsen the feud.”
Now he looked at her from beneath lowered brows. “When the children are safe, and my people can earn their living without fear, then it’ll stop.”
“We’ll just have to make it all happen then,” she said briskly. “Ye’ll capture the sheriff, then we’ll take him to my brother, who’ll see that true justice is done.”
He eyed her. “We’ll do that? Did I not just have a discussion with ye about putting yourself in danger?”
“Was it a discussion?” she asked primly. “I seem to remember being yelled at.”
He harrumphed, but didn’t look away. They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, their words outlining the reality of their relationship—their lack of one. But they were still naked, and his gaze seemed to go all hot as he looked at her. That gaze drifted down her body—
He stood up. “I’ll fetch ye some water to wash before we leave.”
As he reached the door, she said, “Ye’ll go out without clothes?”
“Who’s to see me? And then I’ll go for a swim.”
“A swim!” she repeated, shocked. “Duncan, it’s freezing.”
“Good.”
Confused, she could only stare at the door as it closed behind him.
Chapter 20
Duncan rode silently beside Cat the entire way home, and thought of the words she’d used to condemn him. I went off to search for a man I trust—and you can never be that man. She was right. Over the several-hour ride home, every time he glanced at her, she looked nothing but calm, even serene.
Those emotions would forever elude him. He had to end an injustice to his people, and then afterward . . . he’d have to return Cat to her brother and face the consequences. No punishment could be as severe as losing her. He hadn’t realized how much he counted on seeing her lovely face each day, watching her interact with his people, never seeming above them. And then there was how she was with Finn. She would make a fine mother, and make a husband proud.
But not him.
They reached the cave after sunset, when the few men not out patrolling were gathered around the fires to relax. Maeve rushed toward them, her expression filled with relief.
