Page 51 of Needing Your Love
My heart raced from both arousal and fear, causing my stomach to curdle. I set the full beer on the coffee table.
“I had just over a hundred bucks to my name when I left here that night,” I said, and Sutton seemed ready for whatever tale I would weave, gaze unwavering.
I went with the truth because I was that desperate, that needy for the man to let me in past his own walls. Maybe he would allow me to love him—and gain his in return. High stakes, but the possibilities of good overshadowed getting hurt. Fuck knew I’d dealt with plenty of that and would find a way to move on even if Sutton was disgusted by how I had supported myself.
“I lived out of my car while delivering for a pizzeria for a few months. But the piece of shit died on me, and I had to abandon it on the side of the road where it had left me stranded.” I stared at Sutton’s knee while telling him about how cold it had been attempting to survive on the streets in a cooler than normal spring. How cardboard boxes didn’t really help a whole lot other than to keep the biting wind off my body.
“I lost my job,” I said and swallowed hard, my muscles tensing in readiness to leave. “Ended up giving blow jobs in back alleys so I could buy myself some food.”
Sutton didn’t speak, didn’t move.
I glanced up to find him watching me, his expression void of both revulsion and judgment like I’d expected. If anything, his hazel eyes encouraged me to continue in the path I’d chosen that wasn’t complete bullshit like I’d have spewed as a teen.
Clearing my throat, I rubbed my palms down my thighsagain, and shifted my focus back to his knee. “Shit escalated from there. I was stupid. Wasn’t safe. But I escaped that timeof my life without any lasting health issues. Met this kid named Sean Fox at a party one night. He wasn’t into pretty twinks, but he said he had the perfect job for me if I was interested.”
I hesitated, unsure of how to continue even though I’d already told Sutton I’d become a hole for pay.
“Elite,” Sutton filled in when the silence grew to be too much.
My focus jerked toward his face, and I swallowed hard. “Did Jamie tell you?”
He didn’t exactly smile, but he wasn’t scowling either. “No. I’ve been keeping watch over you for years.”
“Because I’m a part of your Pippen Creek flock?” I held my breath.
“No—because I care.” The warmth of his tone slid through my veins. “I appreciate you telling me the truth, Jimmy.”
“You expected me to lie.” I didn’t ask a question. I could read it on his face clear as the green glints in his kind eyes.
“I hate to say that I did, but yeah,” he said before releasing a heavy sigh and sinking into the couch. I hadn’t realized he’d been tensed, waiting for me to pull my usual shit.
“Because I cried wolf one too many times as a kid.” I supplied yet another truth he was well aware of. “It’s a part of my past,” I stated quietly, studying his face for a hint of his thoughts and desires, coming up empty as usual. “I’m not getting paid to fuck for money anymore.”
Sutton nodded as though he was already aware I’d quit Elite before returning to Pippen Creek.
“My ex-wife manipulated me into sleeping with her in high school. Some might even call what she did to me rape.”
My brain scrambled to navigate the sharp turn in conversation along with him. His honesty acted like helium to my hope, but the words he’d spoken made me crash and burn just as quickly—I’d attempted to do the same as his ex butwithout the non-consent. I’d wanted him willing. As desperate for me as I was for him.
No wonder the man stood like an oak against my flirty onslaught.
Sutton eyed me, watching my rolling emotions probably play out on my face since I no longer had the energy to hide from him. “She hoped to get pregnant because she knew I would marry her and save her from her father, who was a lot like yours.”
“Shit,” I muttered, my eyelids fluttering shut. I was doomed. It was no wonder Sutton had turned me down and pushed me away every time I’d tried to get my hands on his body.
“You’re not her.”
My eyes popped back open, and my pulse stuttered, breath held as I waited for him to continue.
“Since you’ve been home…” Sutton’s gaze flitted over my face but without the calculating type of investigative interest as usual. He seemed to study my features for further reflection or maybe to think on later. Spank bank material?
A boy could hope.
I sat still when I would rather have climbed onto his lap and begged him to take whatever he wanted from me—because everything he embodied was exactly what I needed.
“You’ve grown up, Jimmy. Learned some hard lessons while away. I’m damned proud of how you’ve been looking out for both Mary and her grandson.”
Tears stung my eyes again as a sense of having accomplishedsomethinggood swelled inside my chest.
