Page 66 of Returning Your Love
“A m-mistake!”
Josh’s shoulders wilted at his best friend’s claim.
My chest caved in for the boy.
“Nothing wrong with a couple of friends kissing in my book,” I said with a shrug, hoping to put Kyle at ease. “Also nothing wrong with two boys falling in love and wanting to be together either.”
“Seriously, Coach—this was a one-time thing. Not gonna happen again.” Kyle grabbed his bag and took off, leaving Josh behind.
The kid slumped, gaze on the floor while reaching for his own backpack on the bench beside him.
“If you love him,” I murmured, “then love him. Put him first. Sacrifice it all to be with the guy you want. You might lose friends and family, but would he be worth it?”
“Fuck, yeah he would,” Josh muttered.
I clasped his shoulder, angling him toward the exit.
We stepped out into the cold night.
Kyle leaned against the brick wall, head tipped back and eyes closed. “Sorry,” he whispered, tipping his face our way. A parking lot light lit him up from above, casting shadows over his anguished face. “It wasn’t a mistake. Definitely not a one-off if that’s still okay with you, Josh?”
A relieved sigh, and Josh dropped his bag and threw himself into Kyle’s arms.
The two boys hugged, and I swallowed hard at the sight before locking up for the night.
When they finally released each other, a flush flooded Kyle’s cheeks.
“So—homecoming?” Josh’s tone sounded more like a nudge for an answer over something they’d discussed already.
Kyle glanced at me, and I forced a smile. He turned toward his best friend. “Yeah, Joshy—yeah. I’ll go with you.”
My heart soared even as my throat went tight as fuck.
“Go on and get out of here,” I managed to say past the lump in my throat. “And no more shenanigans in my locker room.”
The boys clutched hands and hurried toward Kyle’s Jeep, and I stood in the cold, barely aware of the nip of the wind as I watched them drive away.
More than anything, I wished I could go back in time and make a move on Chaz like Josh had obviously done with Kyle.
I had considered telling him my truth while in high school, warred over it in fact.
It’d been during the summer after our sophomore year, and with butterflies making my heart flutter, I’d gone over to his house thinking that might be the day for honesty. I’d found him and Shelly lip-locked in their backyard, the first display of PDA even though they’d been “dating” for a few months.
My chest had cracked wide open, and I’d stuffed down the emotion stinging my eyes. I’d told myself I was going to play in the NFL one day and that no team would want to draft an out and proud gay man anyway. Besides, if he was all up in Shelly’s curves, he wouldn’t be interested in a hard body and dick.
Unrequited desire noted and squashed. At least, I’d attempted to ignore the feelings inside me.
Fucking impossible.
Yearning for Chaz ruled me regardless of the heartache we’d both endured. I was more than ready and willing, but would his mind ever be free so he could return my love even though nothing physical now stood in our way?
With every passing day of silence on his end, I feared a bleak future without him as a lover or friend.
My face must have shown my defeat because Dad eyed me while setting my plate in front of me at the table.
“Stay the course.”
I rolled my eyes at him while shoveling a too-large bite of meatloaf into my mouth.
