Page 44 of Returning Your Love
Chaz at least straightened, seeming to ready himself for the worst. He dropped my hand and clasped his knees, knuckles turning white as he stared unblinking at the man.
“Mr. Henderson?” the doctor asked.
“Yeah,” Chaz rasped.
“I’m sorry, but your wife passed while on the operating table.”
Static hit my ears, and I only caught bits and pieces of his explanation.
Internal injuries beyond repair.
Crushed spine.
Wouldn’t have lived a full life even if she’d survived.
Chaz didn’t twitch or blink, unlike me who couldn’t sit still due to the clenching of my guts. I cringed forward as though stabbed in the stomach.
“Her pregnancy wasn’t far enough along to tell the sex of the baby, either,” the doctor continued. “You have my deepest condolences, Mr. Henderson.”
Pregnancy…
Chaz continued to stare as though frozen.
Oh fucking Christ—Jesus!
My chest caved inward, wetness rushing to coat my eyes at the horrid news dropped in Chaz’s lap. After all this time, years of trying…his determination to fulfill Shelly’s dreams…
Chaz returned his gaze to the floor while my mind continued to stall out on partial thoughts.
The doctor left us once more in silence, and I bit my tongue to keep from losing my shit.
This wasn’t possible.
Couldn’t be.
I—fuck!
My body shuddered, my heart thumping heavily in my chest. My palms sweated, and the dinner I’d wolfed down threatened to make an appearance.
Was this God’s way of punishing me for my selfishness?
Needing…I wasn’t sure what, I reached for Chaz’s shoulder and clasped on tight in a show of support even though I seemed more desperate for it than he did. Warmth radiated from beneath his mechanic coveralls, and I closed my eyes, wishing our souls could connect so I could understand what he was going through. How he felt. The thoughts in his head.
How could I be there for him if he didn’t speak?
Unsure of how to comfort him, I simply stayed put, fighting off emotions while he sat unmoved and somber. Restlessness attacked my legs during the long moments of shameful reflection and not knowing what to do. My agitation grew with every quiet tick of the clock, the hopelessness causing me to open my mouth.
“Chaz?”
“I-I need a minute.”
“Want me to contact your parents? Tell the nursing home staff in case Shelly’s mom is having a lucid day?” I had to move, keep me from spiraling further into the shame rotting my soul.
He huffed what sounded like a snort. “Dementia never sounded so good.” Chaz heaved a heavy exhale and nodded. “Yeah—I would appreciate that,” he whispered. “Thanks.”
I squeezed his shoulder and stood, anxious for space while wanting to stick close. “Be back in a few.”
I breathed deeply, trying to get myself under control. Maybe I would call Dad and have him reach out to Chaz’s parents so I could sit in privacy for a few minutes and lose my shit without anyone seeing.
