Page 10 of Returning Your Love
For the next hour, between bouts of catching up with old football players from high school, teachers who’d claimed me as their pet back in the day, and other townsfolk I’d known my entire life, I studied the couple stuck in the forefront of my mind.
Chaz followed Shelly around like usual, but she definitely wasn’t the koala she used to be with him. She gave him narrowed side-eyes that suggested irritation, and once, I caught her lip curling with what looked like disgust when he’d leaned close to talk in her ear.
The fuck was going on between them?
I sipped my lemon water, wondering and wishing she’d dump him or take off like my mom had. Then I felt guilty for thinking about my best friend’s broken heart.
Thatpart of him I could never have, no matter how much I still dreamed of making him mine.
Chapter 4
Chaz
Shelly put on a front, pretending to be the happy wife, bragging up how busy the shop was. At least she didn’t complain to everyone about me never being home like she did with me. While I’d much rather have been hanging with Jamie, I had to do the same as Shelly—play my part of the content husband who was financially killing it and winning at life.
God forbid anyone believe otherwise, never mind clue my father in on the truth.
Same as any length of time spent in my wife’s presence, I wondered over our future and what more I could possibly do to make shit bearable. I doubted we would ever begoodagain, but if we could exist without being miserable, I would be content.
The initial reunion with Jamie had gone much better than I’d expected and dreaded. He’d welcomed me with open arms, and fuck, he’d felt good and solid—comforting—all up in my space. Hadn’t wanted to let him loose when he’d hugged me, but I wasn’t about to reveal my true feelings for the man.
While shit might be weird between us on occasion, no way to avoidthatwith unrequited love on my part, something inside me settled at having him nearby. Jamie’s return was a breath of fresh air finally filling my lungs, invigorating the deadenedemotions I’d been dealing with lately. He was that light I so desperately needed to combat the darkness hovering over my head.
I glanced over to find him still with his dad and Dexter, but a couple of other locals had joined them, voices growing louder with the hours passing and alcohol consumed.
But Jamie didn’t drink.
I eyed the beer in my hand, which had grown warm. At least I hadn’t taken to drowning in alcohol like my wife. She was already lit, laughing shrilly and stumbling around. My parents didn’t go to bars, no matter what type of party was being thrown, but I expected Dad would get wind of her behavior and ask me why I couldn’t keep her in line. As if I could. Dad’s generation might believe a firm hand was okay, but I sure as fuck didn’t. I figured I did a damn good job of not placing any demands on my wife except for that small portion of her income to help cover the bills. If only I didn’t feel so goddamned clueless and powerless to make shit better behind closed doors.
Jamie suddenly stood beside me, his grin from earlier replaced with a softer one that suggested weariness. “Hey—I’m gonna head out.”
“Already?” I asked, trying for a light tone that suggested shit was fine in my corner of the world.
He shrugged. “Not really into peopling tonight.”
“I hear ya. So, next weekend? The following?” I asked about that camping trip, more hopeful than I ought to be to have my best friend all to myself without someone bitching in the background or pretending everything was unicorns and rainbows when it sure as hell wasn’t.
“The sooner the better.” Jamie’s voice hinted at needing peace and quiet, something I rarely got these days. His dark blue eyes suggested he struggled not just with the noise in the bar, butthe loss of his dreams as well. Made me want to hug him again, but I didn’t because I wasgladhe was home.
What a shit best friend I was. Almost as bad of a husband.
“Friday night, then,” I said, a thrill shooting through my stomach regardless of my guilt and waking butterflies I hadn’t felt in years.
He nodded, his eyes brightening the slightest bit, which soothed that feeling of failure for a brief moment. “Still have the same number?”
“Yeah.” I wanted to give him shit for not checking on that fact years ago, but like Shelly had said, I hadn’t reached out to him either.
Knowing I loved him more than I ever had Shelly but not being able to choose him had made him leaving Pippen Creek easier to handle.
But now?
I’d rather go back and do shit over, put my heart on the line in case I’d been wrong in my assumption about my best friend’s sexuality. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Perhaps even better.
Jamie studied me a few seconds as though searching out the truth of my life the last four years. Couldn’t have him believe I was on the same train tracks toward a wreck as I’d been in high school before he’d stepped in and helped me graduate by tutoring the fuck out of me.
I swallowed hard and looked away. “I’ll grab stuff for s’mores.”
“I’ll bring the strawberry wine.”
