Page 85 of Returning Your Love
I could imagine he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Seriously, though—you want me to look into the academy?” I asked, putting our conversation on a track that wouldn’t embarrass him any further.
“While some people would say to hang in there for a little while longer, you have to go with your heart, kid.”
That piece of me remained back home where Dad said I belonged, but the one cradling that fragile part of me didn’t seem interested in taking care of it.
“I’ll think about it,” I said, not sure I could until I knew one way or another where Chaz’s thoughts were when it came to me.
“The May class still has openings.”
I wasn’t surprised in the least Dad had already checked into it for me. “Will I have any issues getting in because of my knee?”
“Nope. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Got connections over there too, huh?” I asked, smiling again.
“Bet your ass, I do. At least fill out the application,” Dad suggested. “I’ll send you the link.”
Yeah, Dad had this idea brewing in his head for a while. “Not doing it tonight. Too tired.”
“No rush and no pressure.”
I bid Dad a good night a few minutes later, set my phone aside, and rolled onto my stomach to hug my pillow. The fluff under my head didn’t smell like Chaz, no matter how much I wished it did.
Closing my eyes, I considered my future.
I’d been the one to ask for space this time around, and Chaz was too honorable a man to cross a boundary I’d set. It would be up to me to open the lines of communication, but knowing the hours he kept, ten at night was too late to call.
Maybe talking to him face-to-face would be better?
I considered that option, expecting he would take off Sunday like he always did. Maybe a couple of coffees in hand and those cranberry orange scones he loved from Kel’s place would get me through his front door.
The thought he would grab hold of my shirt and yank me inside again flitted through my brain, and my dick twitched.
Four days, and it’s go time. I’ve got this.
That positive motto faded from my mind as quickly as it had unconsciously kicked in.
No point in getting my hopes up. I’d done that too often and had ended up disappointed.
Didn’t need any more of that shit in my life.
Chapter 30
Chaz
Afresh six inches of snow had fallen overnight, but typical of northern New Hampshire, the roads were cleared and salted for the so-called morning traffic. Still, there was no point in rushing south when my dinner date wasn’t available until after five.
I was at the shop for most of the day, teaching Josh how to switch out a radiator on a truck older than mine and trusting him to complete that day’s smaller jobs. An oil change and tail light bulb replacement, all easily finished up before the end of the workday for him.
Route 16 was pretty much empty of headlights around me as I drove, the interior of my truck as silent as my head. This sense of peace had been a long time coming. My therapist was thrilled with the results I’d sown from crossing over outside of my comfort zone.
Dad and I met up twice in the last month for lunch, discussing his past and how it had affected him throughout adulthood. Never had I ever imagined him showing such vulnerability and a desire to better himself emotionally. I’d expected to bury him as stubborn as he’d been born. He’d told me Mom had given him an ultimatum, and he loved her morethan life, so I shouldn’t have been surprised he’d begun to make steps toward facing his demons.
While I was no therapist, and he had no wish to meet with one, it was obvious as the nose on my face that changes were taking place inside his head and heart, and talking to me about it was good for both of us.
He even hugged me the day before after we walked out of Dig-In to head back to our office responsibilities.
Speaking of work, hiring Josh was the best thing I could have done. Besides doing exactly what I’d expected—getting more cars in and out of the shop and us seeing better profits, the boy was a whiz with numbers, just like Jamie. He had walked into the office late December to see me struggling with the shop’s budget.
