Page 83 of Returning Your Love
A nine-to-five was exactly what I’d expected. Drudgery and boredom, eight hours where my body began to waste away due to inactivity.
I joined a gym a couple of blocks from my place, which gave me something to do at night, but once in bed, my thoughts returned to my hometown and what I’d left behind.
The silence from Chaz was expected—I’d asked for space after all—but I missed the fuck out of him.
And Dad. Returning for a weekend to visit and accidentally bumping into Chaz would have been easy, but until he was ready, if he ever was, I had to keep my distance. The miles between us didn’t lessen the ache in my bones though, the desperate longing to just see his face.
“How is he?” I asked Dad, same as I always did when he answered my call on Wednesday evening, our agreed-upon dayto chat since he was off work. This was the fourth week since I’d moved out, a cold night in late January when all mankind in the far north ought to be hunkered down in their homes around fireplaces or beneath heated blankets.
A thick layer of snow lay over the city, keeping it quiet outside my bedroom’s frosted-over window, but like typical New Englanders, we would go on about our business with the sunrise no matter the state of the roads or sidewalks.
“Chaz looks better every time I see him around town,” Dad said.
While I was happy Chaz seemed to be getting back to life outside of being a hermit, it stung he hadn’t reached out to me. Perhaps he had no intention of doing so. Maybe his shame over our affair was a line hewouldn’tcross, like the one I’d dragged him over.
“Babs said he’s gained back some weight, not that I understand how she knows that, considering everyone is an overstuffed bear in layers while walking down Main Street. He doesn’t have those bags under his eyes, though. Finally got a haircut too. No more raggedy hair sticking out beneath his beanie.”
“Have you spoken to him at all? Has he asked about me?” Fuck, I sounded like a whiney kid.
“Yes and no.”
I huffed a curse and threw an arm over my eyes where I lay on my bed under a pile of blankets. Who knew electric bills for a mere one-bedroom apartment would be so goddamned high?
While I still had plenty of cash in the bank, it wouldn’t last forever, so I’d been living frugally, just to play it safe.
Adulting like this sucked ass.
“I saw him and his dad at Dig-In the other afternoon over their lunch break,” Dad said.
I whipped my arm off my face and stared at the dark ceiling. “What?”
“Clifford and Charles Henderson had lunch together at Old Man Ron’s place.”
“Yeah—I caught that, but what the fuck?”
I could imagine Dad’s shrug. “Surprised the hell out of me too. But they weren’t arguing. Didn’t even appear to be angry with each other. I couldn’t hear what they were saying while waiting for my takeout, but there didn’t appear to be the usual animosity.”
Well, fuck me sideways.
Making amends with his dad? Talking to him by choice? Eating out with the man? The fuck was going on?
“Were they drunk?” I asked, thinking maybe he’d been back in the whiskey.
“Nope. They were both clear-eyed when I said hi.”
“Huh.”
It sounded like Chaz was making some serious changes, but I was no longer important enough to be included in the life he’d envisioned. I rubbed over my chest and the deep ache that refused to let me breathe easy. It seemed months,years, since I’d been able to do so. Ever since that day I’d caught my best friend kissing Shelly.
“Jamie?”
“Yeah?” I croaked.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Um…no. Sorry. Wool in the brain and all that shit.”
“Are you liking your job any better now that you’ve settled in?”
